Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Chapter 1 Part Two"Can love survive small town gossip?
67 total reviews
Comment from mtngalofnc
Hi barbara,
You have described the small town nicely and with your writing abilities your scenes flow smoothly and the characters very believeable. I thought it to be a really nice touch to have Joe ask Sara not to put herself down and to express right up front that he did not judge her.
Beautifully written and a pleasure to read and review. Thank you for sharing.
Becky
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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Hi barbara,
You have described the small town nicely and with your writing abilities your scenes flow smoothly and the characters very believeable. I thought it to be a really nice touch to have Joe ask Sara not to put herself down and to express right up front that he did not judge her.
Beautifully written and a pleasure to read and review. Thank you for sharing.
Becky
Comment Written 28-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Ted T
Hi Barbara :)
I give you a five for effort. As I told you, I can't honestly critique formula romance, it's not my cup of tea.
You're still bringing up things between Joe and Sara they both already know. Learn to bring that information in through another way.
Go with what your fans and guide books tell you and good luck with it.
Formula romance is your thing and I can't be much help.
Ted
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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Hi Barbara :)
I give you a five for effort. As I told you, I can't honestly critique formula romance, it's not my cup of tea.
You're still bringing up things between Joe and Sara they both already know. Learn to bring that information in through another way.
Go with what your fans and guide books tell you and good luck with it.
Formula romance is your thing and I can't be much help.
Ted
Comment Written 28-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your review. I will search for other ways to get this information in, because will be important later in the story.
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You're most welcome.
Ted
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is another good storyline from you, i enjoyed reading it and seeing the interaction between joe and sara and joe and cassie. great job on this chapter and the background
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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this is another good storyline from you, i enjoyed reading it and seeing the interaction between joe and sara and joe and cassie. great job on this chapter and the background
Comment Written 28-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Readywriter52
Joe is quite taken with Sara. He has agreed to take her to her class reunion. He enjoys talking with her, but he a little take back by the way she puts herself down. He doesn't think she should. I think putting oneself down is another form of self-pity. She needs to stand up for herself and put the past behind her. No one is perfect. I hope the story teaches her this.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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Joe is quite taken with Sara. He has agreed to take her to her class reunion. He enjoys talking with her, but he a little take back by the way she puts herself down. He doesn't think she should. I think putting oneself down is another form of self-pity. She needs to stand up for herself and put the past behind her. No one is perfect. I hope the story teaches her this.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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It does, eventually. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from menachem
It looks like I will be sticking around. I came up with something a while back, that I feel is a perfect review for this story:
"Poetry is imagining a perfect world."
Stories, are whom we wish we could be"
Very nice!
Please let me know what you think.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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It looks like I will be sticking around. I came up with something a while back, that I feel is a perfect review for this story:
"Poetry is imagining a perfect world."
Stories, are whom we wish we could be"
Very nice!
Please let me know what you think.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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I agree with your adorable little poem. Thank you for your review and sticking around. I know guys aren't really into romance, but I will have some excitement in it.
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I'm not into excitement, as I am into what can hold my attention.
Whatever that may be...
You're welcome.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
Oops. On the second read-through, spotted this one.
She adjusted the sleeve[no comma] before she continued ironing.
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Sorry, Barb, but you've never had this many spags before. Let me know if you fix them and I'll upgrade.
Frustrated, Joe turned [to] his dad.
He glanced toward the room[no comma] before he sat in the recliner.
to go in there[no comma] but[,] when women talk clothes[,] I suggest you stay out of the way."
She turned [toward?]the bedroom. "Mom! Mr. Barnes is here."
I'm a workaholic and[,] because of the nature of my work[,] I'm never around long
They took a few steps toward the sidewalk[no comma] before he stopped and turned toward her.
wanting to go after her but decid[ing] she needed to be alone.
Roberta
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Oops. On the second read-through, spotted this one.
She adjusted the sleeve[no comma] before she continued ironing.
----
Sorry, Barb, but you've never had this many spags before. Let me know if you fix them and I'll upgrade.
Frustrated, Joe turned [to] his dad.
He glanced toward the room[no comma] before he sat in the recliner.
to go in there[no comma] but[,] when women talk clothes[,] I suggest you stay out of the way."
She turned [toward?]the bedroom. "Mom! Mr. Barnes is here."
I'm a workaholic and[,] because of the nature of my work[,] I'm never around long
They took a few steps toward the sidewalk[no comma] before he stopped and turned toward her.
wanting to go after her but decid[ing] she needed to be alone.
Roberta
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Thank you for catching those. I have made the corrections I appreciate your help.
Comment from L.lora
typo='Frustrated, Joe(to)turned his dad.' and 'She turned(to)the bedroom'
An excellent addition, gives
lots of info and sets the tone
for the upcoming relationship
between Sara and Joe. Great
descriptive naratives and well
matched dialogues. Looking forwar
to your next post. Lora
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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typo='Frustrated, Joe(to)turned his dad.' and 'She turned(to)the bedroom'
An excellent addition, gives
lots of info and sets the tone
for the upcoming relationship
between Sara and Joe. Great
descriptive naratives and well
matched dialogues. Looking forwar
to your next post. Lora
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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I have made those correction. I appreciate your review and help.
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My pleasure... :)L
Comment from JimLee
Nice writing. The story moves along very well with dialog being natural and believable. The photo you have chosen is perfect. That is exactly what I pictured from parts one and two.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Nice writing. The story moves along very well with dialog being natural and believable. The photo you have chosen is perfect. That is exactly what I pictured from parts one and two.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Begin Again
Barbara,
Great story...Isn't it terrible how people can be so narrow minded that they make someone pay for a mistake through out their entire lifetime? Your dialogue moves the reader. Terrific...
Carol
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Barbara,
Great story...Isn't it terrible how people can be so narrow minded that they make someone pay for a mistake through out their entire lifetime? Your dialogue moves the reader. Terrific...
Carol
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and your support.
Comment from Begin Again
Barbara,
Great story...Isn't it terrible how people can be so narrow minded that they make someone pay for a mistake through out their entire lifetime? Your dialogue moves the reader. Terrific...
Carol
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Barbara,
Great story...Isn't it terrible how people can be so narrow minded that they make someone pay for a mistake through out their entire lifetime? Your dialogue moves the reader. Terrific...
Carol
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. i have it twice.
