Who's Stalking Whom?
Vampire Prompt Entry58 total reviews
Comment from Thesis
Lol. The last line was great.
Throughout the story, I thought DOn was the vampire. Good twist that the little minx brought home dinner.
I enjoyed this story. - Thesis
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Lol. The last line was great.
Throughout the story, I thought DOn was the vampire. Good twist that the little minx brought home dinner.
I enjoyed this story. - Thesis
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Hello, Thesis. One reason you thought Don (Adonis) was the vampire is because I started to plan it that way, and then I thought it was better to keep twisting things. Make the man weak, the woman strong. She's just bringing home dinner to Count Dracula. Hee-hee. What fun this was to write. Thanks for your review and your comments.
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Great twist. So if she's not a vampire, hmmm. She's great bait!
Comment from J.E. Brown
I think this is a very well written story and the dialog is perfect!! Good luck in the contest and I'm sure you'll do just fine. I look forward to reading more of your work.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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I think this is a very well written story and the dialog is perfect!! Good luck in the contest and I'm sure you'll do just fine. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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I hope you do read more of my work, J. E. Thanks for reviewing this one. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from Catmusings
Great story about the fender bender turning out to be a trap for the unsuspecting Don.
Good job writing in the present tense as it doesn't always work for me but I find it works really well for your story.
Love the twist ending on this story and the funny punch line at the end about the curry giving Vlad indigestion. LOVE IT.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Great story about the fender bender turning out to be a trap for the unsuspecting Don.
Good job writing in the present tense as it doesn't always work for me but I find it works really well for your story.
Love the twist ending on this story and the funny punch line at the end about the curry giving Vlad indigestion. LOVE IT.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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First-person Present has the advantage of making the writer into the character. I like the technique, although most of what I write is third-person Past. Glad this worked for you, and I appreciate your review and comments.
Comment from L.lora
I speculated that there would
of course be a twist. Your
writing captivated the reader
and smoothly moved the reader
through to the end without a
hint of how this would turn. Your
naratives are delicious and your
dialogues spot on. Your "piece de resistance"
is in your ending...priceless and
most enjoyable. no nits or spags.
good luck with your contest. Lora
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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I speculated that there would
of course be a twist. Your
writing captivated the reader
and smoothly moved the reader
through to the end without a
hint of how this would turn. Your
naratives are delicious and your
dialogues spot on. Your "piece de resistance"
is in your ending...priceless and
most enjoyable. no nits or spags.
good luck with your contest. Lora
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Hello, L.lora, and thanks for the compliments. I had a lot of fun with this one, and appreciate your review.
Comment from SUSKI
You've done a splendid job. This story is suspenseful from beginning to end. Great dialogue and internalization. You made every word count. Loved your choice of names.
SUSKI
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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You've done a splendid job. This story is suspenseful from beginning to end. Great dialogue and internalization. You made every word count. Loved your choice of names.
SUSKI
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Thanks for a very nice review, Suski. I never know where some of these ideas come from, they just come to me once I get the opening setup. Greek food. I absolutely don't know where that came from.
Comment from medicnate
Nice work here. Good build up to the end with a nice reward. I was sure she was going to kill him herself, but Vlad as the husband was a nice touch. Your dialogue was well written and really pushed the story forward. Great job.
~medicnate~
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Nice work here. Good build up to the end with a nice reward. I was sure she was going to kill him herself, but Vlad as the husband was a nice touch. Your dialogue was well written and really pushed the story forward. Great job.
~medicnate~
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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I'm glad you liked it. Since I didn't know where it was going, all the reviewers were surprised when it got there. It's one of those things that wrote itself while I went along for the ride. Thanks for reviewing and for your comments.
Comment from fionageorge
And they devoured happily ever after. A fun vampire read. Good narrative and excellent use of dialogue. The scenario really believable, and it could happen to anyone anywhere.
So the ending was half expected (as it was a vampire contest), but the fun of the Greek v Indian was hilarious, and certainly not expected. Loved it. Good luck in the contest and warmest regards, Marijke
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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And they devoured happily ever after. A fun vampire read. Good narrative and excellent use of dialogue. The scenario really believable, and it could happen to anyone anywhere.
So the ending was half expected (as it was a vampire contest), but the fun of the Greek v Indian was hilarious, and certainly not expected. Loved it. Good luck in the contest and warmest regards, Marijke
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Hi, Marijke.I'm glad you liked it, and it was a lot of fun to write.
Comment from Aislinge
Great piece! The action flows smoothly, dialog is natural, and descriptions are done well. Love the guy's name! Love the awesome twist at the end.
Thank you for a great read! Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Great piece! The action flows smoothly, dialog is natural, and descriptions are done well. Love the guy's name! Love the awesome twist at the end.
Thank you for a great read! Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Fortunately, I have a book called "The Character Naming Sourcebook" which helped with the names so that I didn't have to research Greek names on the 'Net. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from jack silver
the ending you had for it was funny in its own way. I enjoyed reading this one and wish you the very best of luck in the contest.
from
Jack
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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the ending you had for it was funny in its own way. I enjoyed reading this one and wish you the very best of luck in the contest.
from
Jack
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Hello, Jack.Thanks for your review and your good wishes.
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no probs
Comment from marcii
So made me laugh, brought dinner, hehehe.
Don't know if that was what you were going for.
A good story that I believe was a light read and could have been taken to mean different things.
Well written
Good luck in the contest
Marcii
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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So made me laugh, brought dinner, hehehe.
Don't know if that was what you were going for.
A good story that I believe was a light read and could have been taken to mean different things.
Well written
Good luck in the contest
Marcii
Comment Written 27-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2010
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Hello, Marcii. Yes, I was going for light and funny because I believed the other entries would be heavy and dark. I switched character roles, making the man weak and the woman strong and making her the villian. Fun to do. Thanks for liking it and reviewing.
