Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Chapter 1 Part one"Can love survive small town gossip?
98 total reviews
Comment from daniela.albu
This well written chapter sounds promising for the whole book. The characters of Sarah and Joe are well contoured, the dialogues flow naturally. We have everything here: war, families, children and relationships. We still do not know who is Cassie's father and why is Sarah a single mother but this will be later revealed. For the time being the chapter ends with a promising date.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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This well written chapter sounds promising for the whole book. The characters of Sarah and Joe are well contoured, the dialogues flow naturally. We have everything here: war, families, children and relationships. We still do not know who is Cassie's father and why is Sarah a single mother but this will be later revealed. For the time being the chapter ends with a promising date.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from J.E. Brown
Finally, A book that I get to catch from the beginning. I loved the way the detail put me in the book and made me feel like a silent character. Great job and I'm looking forward to chapter 2!!!
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Finally, A book that I get to catch from the beginning. I loved the way the detail put me in the book and made me feel like a silent character. Great job and I'm looking forward to chapter 2!!!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I hope I don't disappoint you.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form good flow, good storyline, i enjoyed reaading it and seeing the nuances of hometown life, where people can hold things against you for a long time. i wanted to slap my cousin's date at the reunion because she wouldn't stay out of my face. i just visioned throwing her in the pool.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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this is very well written with good form good flow, good storyline, i enjoyed reaading it and seeing the nuances of hometown life, where people can hold things against you for a long time. i wanted to slap my cousin's date at the reunion because she wouldn't stay out of my face. i just visioned throwing her in the pool.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. So you understand small town life, too?
Comment from essence56
Very good start abd ibce again I enjoyed reading,. Now I have two stories to follow. Good character description. I will see which character I take an intrest in this time around. Very good
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Very good start abd ibce again I enjoyed reading,. Now I have two stories to follow. Good character description. I will see which character I take an intrest in this time around. Very good
Comment Written 24-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your support.
Comment from Kaladore
I thought this was a great beginning to the story. It introduces the characters well, even if it does seem to progress a little too quick with Sara and Joe.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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I thought this was a great beginning to the story. It introduces the characters well, even if it does seem to progress a little too quick with Sara and Joe.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Just wait, they take their time. There's too much at stake. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
He watched the rectangular[no comma] picture window
Joe walked across the yard and stood beside [to] the ladder. "Maybe I can get it."
forced the shutter lo[o]se,
as she a[d]verted her eyes
Excellent beginning. Has caught my interest to see what comes next.
By the way, did you write a book about Matt and Dani and, if so, is it still available?
Roberta
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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He watched the rectangular[no comma] picture window
Joe walked across the yard and stood beside [to] the ladder. "Maybe I can get it."
forced the shutter lo[o]se,
as she a[d]verted her eyes
Excellent beginning. Has caught my interest to see what comes next.
By the way, did you write a book about Matt and Dani and, if so, is it still available?
Roberta
Comment Written 23-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Yes, I wrote about Matt and Dani and it's in my portfolio. Her Pretty Little Neck.
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from ulster3
Hello barbara.
I'm happy to see this posted so quickly. The setting and the characters are not the usual jet type set, and I like that. Then there is the suspense about Cassie's father. This promises to be an outstanding read.
Fondly, Rebecca
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Hello barbara.
I'm happy to see this posted so quickly. The setting and the characters are not the usual jet type set, and I like that. Then there is the suspense about Cassie's father. This promises to be an outstanding read.
Fondly, Rebecca
Comment Written 23-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. This one will be slightly different. I hope it flies.
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I'll be looking forward to reading! R
Comment from Readywriter52
Joe Barnes is visiting his home. There he sees Sara, a girl he knew from school. He ends up escorting her to her reunion. She tries to discourage him by telling him that she is a fallen woman. He still wants to escort her to her reunion. This sounds like a start to a good story.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Joe Barnes is visiting his home. There he sees Sara, a girl he knew from school. He ends up escorting her to her reunion. She tries to discourage him by telling him that she is a fallen woman. He still wants to escort her to her reunion. This sounds like a start to a good story.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I hope you enjoy reading it.
Comment from mtngalofnc
Hi barbara,
I am so glad I caught this on the first chapter. It held my interest from start to finish and has a smooth flow. The dialogue is excellent and I saw no spag. I especially enjoyed the part where Joe immediately approaches Sara and decides to take her to the school reunion. Can't wait to read more so I am off to make you a fan so that I won't miss any of your writing. Thank you for sharing.
Becky
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Hi barbara,
I am so glad I caught this on the first chapter. It held my interest from start to finish and has a smooth flow. The dialogue is excellent and I saw no spag. I especially enjoyed the part where Joe immediately approaches Sara and decides to take her to the school reunion. Can't wait to read more so I am off to make you a fan so that I won't miss any of your writing. Thank you for sharing.
Becky
Comment Written 23-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from patwannabe
Barbara, I think you're off to a good start on this one, but one paragraph bothers me. I never saw a baseball cap with bright blue eyes and I didn't know that dimples could run. You might want to look at that para. again and get the modifier in the right place and maybe get a comma with the dimples or re-work those spots. Otherwise, it's good to go.
(It's the para that begins "A teenage girl with a brunette...")
pat
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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Barbara, I think you're off to a good start on this one, but one paragraph bothers me. I never saw a baseball cap with bright blue eyes and I didn't know that dimples could run. You might want to look at that para. again and get the modifier in the right place and maybe get a comma with the dimples or re-work those spots. Otherwise, it's good to go.
(It's the para that begins "A teenage girl with a brunette...")
pat
Comment Written 23-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2010
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I will recheck that paragraph. Thank you for your kind review.
