Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Chapter 1 Part one"Can love survive small town gossip?
98 total reviews
Comment from Neeeks
This is certainly shaping up well, leaves me looking for more. Wonder about Sara, her daughter, where is the father, etc. The dialogue is easy and natural.
The lady showing up and being so snarky with Sara, well we've all known someone like that too.
I can't wait to see some more!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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This is certainly shaping up well, leaves me looking for more. Wonder about Sara, her daughter, where is the father, etc. The dialogue is easy and natural.
The lady showing up and being so snarky with Sara, well we've all known someone like that too.
I can't wait to see some more!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I like this story. You did such a good job. You kept me interested all the way through. Your characters are strong and your dialog is very good.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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I like this story. You did such a good job. You kept me interested all the way through. Your characters are strong and your dialog is very good.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from gramalot8
Barbara, I enjoyed this read very much. I love the characters you are creating. I'm looking forward to getting to know them as you write more about them. Good job and keep writing. Anxious to learn more about the interesting twists you mention.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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Barbara, I enjoyed this read very much. I love the characters you are creating. I'm looking forward to getting to know them as you write more about them. Good job and keep writing. Anxious to learn more about the interesting twists you mention.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I hope I don't disappoint you.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi barbara,
You seem to have a thing for Task Force 385, but hey, if they provide lots of storylines, go for it.
This is a good start, plenty of dialogue and characters already taking shape.
Patrick
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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Hi barbara,
You seem to have a thing for Task Force 385, but hey, if they provide lots of storylines, go for it.
This is a good start, plenty of dialogue and characters already taking shape.
Patrick
Comment Written 26-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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The Task Force men provide hunks and plenty of excitment. I am not sure if it's sequel or not. I use different men each time, but we still get a glimpse of how our former men & women are doing. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
I missed your first chapter but this one promises to lead to an interesting story.
Class hero and little Miss Nobody will make for an interesting relationship and no doubt, lots of conflict.
I look forward to reading more.
Juliette
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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I missed your first chapter but this one promises to lead to an interesting story.
Class hero and little Miss Nobody will make for an interesting relationship and no doubt, lots of conflict.
I look forward to reading more.
Juliette
Comment Written 26-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from *erin*
Great beginning. I could already sense the chemistry between Joe and Sara. Just one tiny thing. "Josh and you were best friends."
I think "You and Josh were best friends" reads better. Just a suggestion. Anyway,great job, can't wait to read more.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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Great beginning. I could already sense the chemistry between Joe and Sara. Just one tiny thing. "Josh and you were best friends."
I think "You and Josh were best friends" reads better. Just a suggestion. Anyway,great job, can't wait to read more.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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I agree I will make that change. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Sharkey
I think I'll enjoy this story and I look forward to the interesting twists you mention. I like how you've introduced your characters, this was a good opening chapter.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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I think I'll enjoy this story and I look forward to the interesting twists you mention. I like how you've introduced your characters, this was a good opening chapter.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from K. L. Bauman
Another good chapter and great begining for your story. You captured the characters really well. I didn't notice any spags. I'll look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2010
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Another good chapter and great begining for your story. You captured the characters really well. I didn't notice any spags. I'll look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Jonez08
A great start to a new story. I'm so happy to start this one at the beginning. It's well written with lively characters. I look forward to seeing where you take us. Cassie's father could be an interesting part of the story.
Before Joe could answer, his dad, Bob, vigorously shook his hand.
--to make his transition from the back yard a bit smoother, I suggest: Before Joe could answer, his dad, Bob, joined them and vigorously shook his hand or Before Joe could answer, his dad, Bob, crossed the lawn and vigorously shook his hand
Cassandra
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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A great start to a new story. I'm so happy to start this one at the beginning. It's well written with lively characters. I look forward to seeing where you take us. Cassie's father could be an interesting part of the story.
Before Joe could answer, his dad, Bob, vigorously shook his hand.
--to make his transition from the back yard a bit smoother, I suggest: Before Joe could answer, his dad, Bob, joined them and vigorously shook his hand or Before Joe could answer, his dad, Bob, crossed the lawn and vigorously shook his hand
Cassandra
Comment Written 25-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2010
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You're correct about that transition. I will change it. Thank you for your review and support.
Comment from anabelle
Do we have another good story starting. You're really good at foreshadowing, and this is no exception. The reader wants to know who the father is, why she won't tell him who it is, why she's alone and why he's alone.
Good read. Thanks.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2010
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Do we have another good story starting. You're really good at foreshadowing, and this is no exception. The reader wants to know who the father is, why she won't tell him who it is, why she's alone and why he's alone.
Good read. Thanks.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 25-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
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It's always a pleasure, Barbara.
