Gramalot's Storybook
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Rosa"A book of stories and poems for kids of all ages.
12 total reviews
Comment from RazberryBullet
Liked this story :) We lived in Mexico four years and migrant families rarely have work that keeps them in one place for any length of time.
suggestion: The young girl(')s words were flying rapidly into the somber girl(')s direction
Well done!
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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Liked this story :) We lived in Mexico four years and migrant families rarely have work that keeps them in one place for any length of time.
suggestion: The young girl(')s words were flying rapidly into the somber girl(')s direction
Well done!
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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thank you for your review and comments
Comment from harleyangelbrat
This is a wonderful story. It is expressive and descriptive which makes for a great read. I really enjoyed reading this very much. It is an excellent read, God bless you!
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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This is a wonderful story. It is expressive and descriptive which makes for a great read. I really enjoyed reading this very much. It is an excellent read, God bless you!
Comment Written 12-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2010
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thank you very much for your kind comments and rating.
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You are very welcome. I hope you have a blessed day. Marilyn
Comment from RebelRose
You did a good job expressing the feelings of a lonely child in a new place. These kids of migrant works move around so much living a life they didn't ask for, filled with loneliness and sometimes lack of acceptance.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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You did a good job expressing the feelings of a lonely child in a new place. These kids of migrant works move around so much living a life they didn't ask for, filled with loneliness and sometimes lack of acceptance.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your comments.
Comment from CKLA
A truly enjoyable read. It must be difficult for these children not to be able to put down roots and develop long lasting friendships.
I like how you showed that a simple act of acceptance can bring so much joy to a child.
Thanks for sharing this.
Collette
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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A truly enjoyable read. It must be difficult for these children not to be able to put down roots and develop long lasting friendships.
I like how you showed that a simple act of acceptance can bring so much joy to a child.
Thanks for sharing this.
Collette
Comment Written 09-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your comments.
Comment from Janine Ellis-Fynn
I enjoyed reading your chapter. It is always so hard being 'the new girl' at an unfamiliar school. I know that feeling only too well. You have captured it perfectly with skill and talent, well done!
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2010
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I enjoyed reading your chapter. It is always so hard being 'the new girl' at an unfamiliar school. I know that feeling only too well. You have captured it perfectly with skill and talent, well done!
Comment Written 09-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2010
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Thank you for reading about Rosa. Your comments are appreciated.
Comment from Jnetgame
I see you are a new member of FanStory; welcome! This an excellent depiction of what it's like for kids who have to move a lot and make new friends. I like your vivid descriptions of the characters. By the way, I like to write children's stories, too. Please check them out if you have time.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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I see you are a new member of FanStory; welcome! This an excellent depiction of what it's like for kids who have to move a lot and make new friends. I like your vivid descriptions of the characters. By the way, I like to write children's stories, too. Please check them out if you have time.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your comments and the five star review. I love to write and am recently retired, so now I hope to have more time and energy to put into my writing.
Comment from bluedragon776
This is very accurate of how very young kids of different races interact, especially when cultures clash. I just had a few suggestions for you.
Try breaking put the fat paragraphs. It makes for easier reading.
Forgot the apostrophe 's'
The young girls words ......
Place the comma inside the quote marks:
....staying, I sure hope so",......
Very good otherwise.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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This is very accurate of how very young kids of different races interact, especially when cultures clash. I just had a few suggestions for you.
Try breaking put the fat paragraphs. It makes for easier reading.
Forgot the apostrophe 's'
The young girls words ......
Place the comma inside the quote marks:
....staying, I sure hope so",......
Very good otherwise.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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thank you. I've been told before about my comma's and apostrophe's. I needed the reminder. Any critique is always welcomed.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You did a great job describing the emotion new students feel. My boys were raised about a military community and being a new student wasn't anything. All the kids were new at sometime.
Rosarita, bu you can call me Rosa. ( Rosarita, but you can call me Rosa.)
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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You did a great job describing the emotion new students feel. My boys were raised about a military community and being a new student wasn't anything. All the kids were new at sometime.
Rosarita, bu you can call me Rosa. ( Rosarita, but you can call me Rosa.)
Comment Written 07-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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Thanks for your comments and your help on my typo. Your words are encouraging.
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Gramalot, how relieved I am when I know Rosa is accepted. Children at that age is very sensitive, especially in her condition. Interestingly told. (You may want to correct 'May name' into 'My name', I'm sure it's a slip of the keyboard...:))
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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Hi, Gramalot, how relieved I am when I know Rosa is accepted. Children at that age is very sensitive, especially in her condition. Interestingly told. (You may want to correct 'May name' into 'My name', I'm sure it's a slip of the keyboard...:))
Comment Written 07-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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Belinda, thank you so much.... and thanks for the tip on the typo. Your 5-star rating is very appreciated.
Comment from The Wood Work
A good story line and I like the characters. Well written for this lil Mexican girl and her loneliness. Is this going to be a book. Good luck to you and keep writing! char
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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A good story line and I like the characters. Well written for this lil Mexican girl and her loneliness. Is this going to be a book. Good luck to you and keep writing! char
Comment Written 07-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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Thanks for your wonderful support and 5-star rating. I hadn't thought of turning it into a book, but it could be developed, I'm sure. A lot could be added about the way there is still discrimination today with the rulings in Arizona, etc. how that could effect Rosa and her family. It is food for thought. Thank you.
