Performance Problems- My Life! LOL
Viewing comments for Chapter 53 "Living Life's Foisted Situations"A halarious adventure with misery, but always joy!
6 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Dad informed my sister and I - sister and me
My Grandmother tried everything - grandmother since not used like her name here
Turret's Syndrome tick - tic - also look up Turret's as I think it is more like Tourette's
increasing dissention of Grandma - dissension
You're Dad and I are having sex - Your
This sounds like a terribly stressful time for you and all your family members - stressful and complex - excellent detail, and you convey your emotional response to all that is going on well. Brooke
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2010
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Dad informed my sister and I - sister and me
My Grandmother tried everything - grandmother since not used like her name here
Turret's Syndrome tick - tic - also look up Turret's as I think it is more like Tourette's
increasing dissention of Grandma - dissension
You're Dad and I are having sex - Your
This sounds like a terribly stressful time for you and all your family members - stressful and complex - excellent detail, and you convey your emotional response to all that is going on well. Brooke
Comment Written 09-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2010
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With this chapter, TBIU greeted us with, "Welcome to the world of mega-stress." Unfortunately this chapter was the calm befor the storm. The next chapter is under certificate, but much more graph. Thank you for the corrections, the compliments and this review. Oh, I had to change it to Mrs. Wagner too. Mike
Comment from IndianaIrish
Hello Mike. Wow, things sure were trying in your home after your Mom got sick. Here's some things to look over...
We stuck with the decision with not putting in the feeding tube (too close with...with the decision to not put)
she made a fist (and)went to give
82 year old woman (eighty-two)
because it the CAT Scan's resolution (delete it)
telling us that(delete that) they are(were) glad their injured family member wasn't like Mom, and they're glad they won't have the care(-) giving situation that(delete that) we will have.
The problem was she(had) already (been) considered
(rather than)then from her memory.
bad feeling Mom's(Mom) accepted
With help for(from) the social service
she called (Fuzzy--if it's a name she used)fuzzy.
mom(Mom) was picking up
Initially (Mom)mom was enthused
I explained I tried to logically explain (reword this a bit?)
Things were going very well at this time and all seemed to be going well, I was never needed. (delete one of these going well)
which were the carrots and celery(placed--delete this 2nd which were) which were
second trip for(to) Algonquin (Provincial??) Park
they only participate(d) with the troop
I felt (he)at least deserved respect
I think you(r) (M)mom will be well soon
You're dad(Your Dad)
goind(going) to my house
she is having sex with your father(?).
Mrs. Wagoner (was)is in her eighties
take advantage of you(r) mother
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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Hello Mike. Wow, things sure were trying in your home after your Mom got sick. Here's some things to look over...
We stuck with the decision with not putting in the feeding tube (too close with...with the decision to not put)
she made a fist (and)went to give
82 year old woman (eighty-two)
because it the CAT Scan's resolution (delete it)
telling us that(delete that) they are(were) glad their injured family member wasn't like Mom, and they're glad they won't have the care(-) giving situation that(delete that) we will have.
The problem was she(had) already (been) considered
(rather than)then from her memory.
bad feeling Mom's(Mom) accepted
With help for(from) the social service
she called (Fuzzy--if it's a name she used)fuzzy.
mom(Mom) was picking up
Initially (Mom)mom was enthused
I explained I tried to logically explain (reword this a bit?)
Things were going very well at this time and all seemed to be going well, I was never needed. (delete one of these going well)
which were the carrots and celery(placed--delete this 2nd which were) which were
second trip for(to) Algonquin (Provincial??) Park
they only participate(d) with the troop
I felt (he)at least deserved respect
I think you(r) (M)mom will be well soon
You're dad(Your Dad)
goind(going) to my house
she is having sex with your father(?).
Mrs. Wagoner (was)is in her eighties
take advantage of you(r) mother
Indy :>)
Comment Written 06-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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Indy, thank you very much for taking the time to aid in my editing. You have painfully made me aware of my writing deficits, if possible, I would love to give you real name thanks if I manage to get this published. I thank you very much for your review and recomendations. Believe it or not, the next chapter bumps up up the intensity quite a few notches. While one theme of this is adventure, that chapter is more like an astronaught approaching space for the first time. Have a great day! Mike
Comment from Aletheia
Your story was very compelling. It's so sad to think that her own mother could be this selfish. I feel for both you and your father. Your story is very well written, but I thought the scouting part was a little out of place. I think you could probably remove it all together, but that's just my opinion.
A few edits:
was because it (remove it) the CAT Scan's resolution was any legal actions on either problem, because the medical insurance covered it (,)and we had enough on our plates already.
care giving situation that (we were going to have) we will have to.
The problem was (that) she already (was) considered as far along as she would ever be. She now called us by our names, but it was obvious to me that this was more of a skill she learned then something from her memory, so to speak (from lacking the presence of other people in her life).
I feel so sorry for both you and your family. This is a very sad story, but I think many will be interested to read about it. Take care, B
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2010
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Your story was very compelling. It's so sad to think that her own mother could be this selfish. I feel for both you and your father. Your story is very well written, but I thought the scouting part was a little out of place. I think you could probably remove it all together, but that's just my opinion.
A few edits:
was because it (remove it) the CAT Scan's resolution was any legal actions on either problem, because the medical insurance covered it (,)and we had enough on our plates already.
care giving situation that (we were going to have) we will have to.
The problem was (that) she already (was) considered as far along as she would ever be. She now called us by our names, but it was obvious to me that this was more of a skill she learned then something from her memory, so to speak (from lacking the presence of other people in her life).
I feel so sorry for both you and your family. This is a very sad story, but I think many will be interested to read about it. Take care, B
Comment Written 06-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2010
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Thank you for your compliments, corrections and this review. Mike
Comment from bhogg
Lots of opportunity for correction here. On the Grandma, Grandpa, the usual rule of thumb is that if the tag follows a prononoun, no need to capitalize. I'll be glad to re-visit when corrections are made.
another Paton Place (Peyton)
could to rest control (wrest)
care giving situation that we will have to (drop to)
She now called us by our names, but it was obvious to me, this was a more a learned thing to do, then from her memory; so to speak, for lack of other people being in her life. We became Mom's accepted family. (awkwardly written, maybe split into two sentences, period after memory and then for lack of...
and developed a relationship (developing)
Bob was a basic scout-skill person, and enjoyed the fact that all of the scouts were not only enthused, they enjoyed outdoor camping and who actively competed with Norm and I. (I don't get this sentence)
Welelos
expected good news, upon (drop comma)
think you mom will be well (your)
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2010
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Lots of opportunity for correction here. On the Grandma, Grandpa, the usual rule of thumb is that if the tag follows a prononoun, no need to capitalize. I'll be glad to re-visit when corrections are made.
another Paton Place (Peyton)
could to rest control (wrest)
care giving situation that we will have to (drop to)
She now called us by our names, but it was obvious to me, this was a more a learned thing to do, then from her memory; so to speak, for lack of other people being in her life. We became Mom's accepted family. (awkwardly written, maybe split into two sentences, period after memory and then for lack of...
and developed a relationship (developing)
Bob was a basic scout-skill person, and enjoyed the fact that all of the scouts were not only enthused, they enjoyed outdoor camping and who actively competed with Norm and I. (I don't get this sentence)
Welelos
expected good news, upon (drop comma)
think you mom will be well (your)
Comment Written 06-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2010
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I thank you very much for reviewing this, suggesting corrections which I made. Mike
Comment from jwlee211
I like this chapter. Well written and the descriptions work very well. I also like the touch of humor. The sex line even surprised me. I am looking forward to the next entry
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2010
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I like this chapter. Well written and the descriptions work very well. I also like the touch of humor. The sex line even surprised me. I am looking forward to the next entry
Comment Written 05-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2010
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I wasn't going to put it in, but the book does have it's struggle of sexuality through out. I figued why not, also hoping the shock I experienced as well a little humor. I thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Second view and an upgrade.
Your story and characters are very good but have quite a few mechanical errors.
"Lou you son of a bitch!" (comma after Lou)
but after a visit with grandma, (capital 'g' on grandma)
My Grandmother on the other hand, took it (this is lower case 'g' because of the my & the same here & other's;) I also visited my Grandma on Saturdays.
was the inclusion of the Welelos on our camping trips which ensured us, (Webelos)
I know wondered if God is going to be judging these people, (now wondered?)
and was suddenly very week. (weak)
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2010
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Second view and an upgrade.
Your story and characters are very good but have quite a few mechanical errors.
"Lou you son of a bitch!" (comma after Lou)
but after a visit with grandma, (capital 'g' on grandma)
My Grandmother on the other hand, took it (this is lower case 'g' because of the my & the same here & other's;) I also visited my Grandma on Saturdays.
was the inclusion of the Welelos on our camping trips which ensured us, (Webelos)
I know wondered if God is going to be judging these people, (now wondered?)
and was suddenly very week. (weak)
Comment Written 05-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2010
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I thank you very much for reviewing this and have fixed the errors. Feel free to upgrade the rating if you think it is deserved. I thank you very much for the compliment, corrections and this review. Mike
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I upgraded it to a five.
