Reviews from

Writings From the Heart

Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Battle Cry"
A book of Poetry & Writing

74 total reviews 
Comment from Amfunny
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent writing, my friend. I enjoyed reading and reviewing your poem. It is very well written and your rhythm and flow work well in this. I liked it a lot.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2010
    thank you Amfunny
Comment from S.Yocom
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It's true that we no longer give much thought to the brave soldiers who fought in World War I. I'm glad you wrote this good, unmetered poem for them. I like the way you personalized it.
Sally

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2010
    thank you Sally
Comment from JeffreyStone
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Thanks for reminding we free people of the sacrifices made by the few, the brave, the weary for us. Too many among us are ungrateful or unaware of the dogged determination of those who gave their lives in that war nearly a century ago. Your words make us stop and think, perhaps be humbled for a moment. Best Regards, JeffreyStone

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2010
    thank you Jeffrey Stone
Comment from Soulester
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your description is so vivid, deepwater! I like the fact that this narrative poem was told in first person. It makes it so immediate. Your details are excellent--the sights, the sounds, the action, and the feelings of this young soldier. Well done!!! Mary

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2010
    thank you Mary
Comment from P1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

very descriptive, the words
you chose paint a picture of
a very real scene. your rhyme
and format were inspired
i really enjoyed reading your
words

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2010
    thank you paige
Comment from Nordica93
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very moving poem - I have been to a cemetery in Belgium with the largest concentration of soldiers who are 'known unto God,' so I can see the sentiment in this poem. I love how you have used short, abrupt phrases to describe the horror and desperation of the battlefield. Good job.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2010
    thank you Nordica
Comment from mmichelle97219
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I thought this was very good it captured the heartach, the pain, the smells and sights so very well. Really excellent job.
Michelle

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2010
    thank you Michelle
Comment from jason456
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a well written and descriptive poem. I'm just so sorry you had to go through this at all. Thank you for protecting our country. I have thought this Memorial Day about all the men (and women) who have died for our country and I pray for their families. Patti :)

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2010
    thank you Patti
reply by jason456 on 06-Jun-2010
    You are so welcome.
    Patti :)
Comment from Amicus
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a graphic and dramatic portrayal of a day on the battle field during WWI...the war to end all wars that didn't. What is best about the poem is the descriptive details. The flow is a bit choppy to my ear however and the double use of "away" as an end rhyme in the last four lines weakens the effect of them and you might want to find a stronger rhymes.

Pretty good all in all however.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2010
    thank you Amicus
Comment from Perp Ihebom
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is such a graphic description of one of the many anxious moments that soldiers have to face on the battle field. Great descriptive writing. kudos

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2010


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2010
    thank you Perp