The Man in Leathers
A Cop Comes to a Shocking Realisation16 total reviews
Comment from Hitcher
That's why I enjoy reading you mate; because you ALWAYS try something a bit different.
There were a few outstanding lines which offered up awesome visuals... one of those lines that I just F/N loved was; I found myself suspended inside a frozen moment, everything hanging in the air like a 3D movie on pause... Brilliant! Always a pleasure mate!
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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That's why I enjoy reading you mate; because you ALWAYS try something a bit different.
There were a few outstanding lines which offered up awesome visuals... one of those lines that I just F/N loved was; I found myself suspended inside a frozen moment, everything hanging in the air like a 3D movie on pause... Brilliant! Always a pleasure mate!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Dude, so glad you enjoyed it! I love being a little different, as you well know, mate, and this time it's paid off as I've had excellent responses to it. Thanks for that fantastic rating. I'm just trying to find the time to write some more!
Mike
Comment from Nicki_Mist
I took me a couple times to read to understand the ending but then i realized he had saw all that while going to shoot but he got shot and the case was solved. A good imagination and it holds your interest. Good story. Keep them coming.
Nicole
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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I took me a couple times to read to understand the ending but then i realized he had saw all that while going to shoot but he got shot and the case was solved. A good imagination and it holds your interest. Good story. Keep them coming.
Nicole
Comment Written 05-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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Thank you, Nicole :-). I do love to be a bit different, but there's always that balancing act to maintain, ensuring the words still make enough sense!
Mike
Comment from Tellis
It may not have been proper flash fiction but I really liked it anyway and I think it will work as it is. Good to hear from you again.
Tellis
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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It may not have been proper flash fiction but I really liked it anyway and I think it will work as it is. Good to hear from you again.
Tellis
Comment Written 04-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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Thank you, T :-). Mad times at work and a holiday have conspired to limit my writing of late, but they can't silence me for long!
Mike
Comment from Judian James
You had fun with this one didn't you? Really clever, smart and fun to read. I love "aiming my firearm with alliteratively accurate alacrity" Wow ... alliterative or what? "suspended inside a frozen moment, everything hanging in the air like a 3D movie on pause" great visual with this line. Hell, I could quote the whole thing. It's flashy ... it's fictionish ... I loved it!
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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You had fun with this one didn't you? Really clever, smart and fun to read. I love "aiming my firearm with alliteratively accurate alacrity" Wow ... alliterative or what? "suspended inside a frozen moment, everything hanging in the air like a 3D movie on pause" great visual with this line. Hell, I could quote the whole thing. It's flashy ... it's fictionish ... I loved it!
Comment Written 04-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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Flashy fiction! I think you've coined a new genre title there, and it's my kind of genre. Thank you, Jude :-)
Mike
Comment from patmedium
Hey, Mike... you get the high five from me... out of date, maybe, but I am 60, after all! This was marvellous! I enjoyed it very much. Pat.
- dressed in a similes.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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Hey, Mike... you get the high five from me... out of date, maybe, but I am 60, after all! This was marvellous! I enjoyed it very much. Pat.
- dressed in a similes.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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Thank you, Pat. For the review and the catch. There's a scene in a Terry Pratchett novel where the 'Monks of Cool' are having a meeting and they start every line with 'Yo.' A footnote on the page simply says 'Possibly out of date, but definitely cool'.
Mike
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Yep!
Thanks for the recognition.
(As long as I aint got Altzheimers)
Comment from words
Oh, from my perspective this was definitely a flash of fiction.
Loved it.
Loved all of your playing around with literary devices.
Brooke told me that I should not miss this one and she was oh, so right.
Good luck in the contest my literate and literary friend.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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Oh, from my perspective this was definitely a flash of fiction.
Loved it.
Loved all of your playing around with literary devices.
Brooke told me that I should not miss this one and she was oh, so right.
Good luck in the contest my literate and literary friend.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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Aww, thank you! I'm so glad you read it, and I shall have to thank Brooke for the recommendation :-)
Mike
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this isvery well written with good form, good flow, good storyline, a wonderful entry into the contest. by the title i was expecting a cowboy story. lol this is nice but you can write me a cowboy story. i wish you luck into the contest
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2010
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this isvery well written with good form, good flow, good storyline, a wonderful entry into the contest. by the title i was expecting a cowboy story. lol this is nice but you can write me a cowboy story. i wish you luck into the contest
Comment Written 04-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2010
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Thank you :-). I've never written a cowboy story, so perhaps I shall give it a go! Thank you for the lovely review.
Mike
Comment from Realist101
Hi Mike, KEEP "fiddling", this is awesome. I think your little? cat is a great inspiration, he is there to keep an eye on you, and keep you at this game of writing. Which, I might add, you do so very well. ") Pet little "cartman" for me, I still can't get over this photo of him! Susan
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2010
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Hi Mike, KEEP "fiddling", this is awesome. I think your little? cat is a great inspiration, he is there to keep an eye on you, and keep you at this game of writing. Which, I might add, you do so very well. ") Pet little "cartman" for me, I still can't get over this photo of him! Susan
Comment Written 03-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2010
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He thanks you most appreciatively, with a rattly purr and a nuzzle and some thorough paddling with his big, soft paws.
Thank you, Susan :-). I love to play around a little with expectation. It doesn't always work, of course, but I'm so glad it worked for you!
Mike
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Awwww baby! I love your cat...mine does this with her front paws too, she goes into a sort of trance! Thanks for "sharing" him with me! KEEP up your good work Mike, I sure enjoy your style!! Susan
Comment from MyYiaYia
I thought you did this story remarkably well. It was short, not much in the way of descriptive words, very intense, written well, and was definitely different. I loved it.
If I didn't tell you before, I am a bit OCD when it comes to the word 'that'. I think its use has gotten to the point of 'like' and 'you know' in our society. The problem is, most people don't notice it as much as they do the others. Unfortunately, I notice. So, the following 'that' can just be deleted, without changing anything, and one can be changed to 'the'. I am not sure if it will mess up your word count or not. Deb
-an insane mop that no comb could -
-seemed fitting that the job fell to me -
-I was in that tiny room again, - change 'that' to 'the'
-hint that there was more to come -
-to me that this experience -
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2010
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I thought you did this story remarkably well. It was short, not much in the way of descriptive words, very intense, written well, and was definitely different. I loved it.
If I didn't tell you before, I am a bit OCD when it comes to the word 'that'. I think its use has gotten to the point of 'like' and 'you know' in our society. The problem is, most people don't notice it as much as they do the others. Unfortunately, I notice. So, the following 'that' can just be deleted, without changing anything, and one can be changed to 'the'. I am not sure if it will mess up your word count or not. Deb
-an insane mop that no comb could -
-seemed fitting that the job fell to me -
-I was in that tiny room again, - change 'that' to 'the'
-hint that there was more to come -
-to me that this experience -
Comment Written 03-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2010
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Ah yes, I do have a that habit at times. Thank you for picking out the erronious ones for me :-). I'm so glad you enjoyed my little tale; it's the first thing I've written in a couple of weeks, so I was feeling a little rusty.
Mike
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Rusty or not, you write well. :0)
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Mike,
This is cool.
Very creative.
Good descriptions.
Interesting.
Entertaining.
I like how you ended it.
Oh, one possible spag:last line, 1st paragraph: similes shouldn't it be simile? check it out.
Good luck in the contest.
Kathryn
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2010
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Mike,
This is cool.
Very creative.
Good descriptions.
Interesting.
Entertaining.
I like how you ended it.
Oh, one possible spag:last line, 1st paragraph: similes shouldn't it be simile? check it out.
Good luck in the contest.
Kathryn
Comment Written 03-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2010
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Thank you, Kathryn :-). I debated on simile/similes when I wrote it, as the singular sounds more correct, but there are two of them in the preceeding sentence, which is why I left it how it is.
I'm so glad you enjoyed my little tale :-)
Mike
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Mike, okay, good. And you're welcome.
kathryn
