Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "October Morn"A book of Poetry & Writing
150 total reviews
Comment from Fleedleflump
I think this would be stronger if there was more direct connection between the lines, most of which seem to stand alone at the moment. There is some odd comma usage that gets in the way of the theme, which I'd say is strong. There are insights in here, and some well realised reminiscences. They just need to be given the chance to shine.
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I think this would be stronger if there was more direct connection between the lines, most of which seem to stand alone at the moment. There is some odd comma usage that gets in the way of the theme, which I'd say is strong. There are insights in here, and some well realised reminiscences. They just need to be given the chance to shine.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Yes, many statements to ponder. I was reminded of something my father always said, 'if I can leave the world a better place for my children, I will feel my job is done.' I guess it depends on what we mean by better. Giddy
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Yes, many statements to ponder. I was reminded of something my father always said, 'if I can leave the world a better place for my children, I will feel my job is done.' I guess it depends on what we mean by better. Giddy
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi GW,
Regrets, don't we all? The could haves, should haves, but didn't. Or we did and wish we hadn't!
Nice contemplative piece...
Cheers &
Keep Smilin'... Jax
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Hi GW,
Regrets, don't we all? The could haves, should haves, but didn't. Or we did and wish we hadn't!
Nice contemplative piece...
Cheers &
Keep Smilin'... Jax
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from fairy77
This is great. It rhymed all the way through and was a wonderful story poem.I really like the way you tell your tale and it's display:)beth fairy77.
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This is great. It rhymed all the way through and was a wonderful story poem.I really like the way you tell your tale and it's display:)beth fairy77.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from royowen
An obvious tribute to your father or some close relative who gave his life, I guess this is a question that besets us all, the question of whether I will leave a legacy behind that will benefit others, particularly loved ones! This was articulately written, with a great sentiment woven into! Well done, blessings, Roy.
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An obvious tribute to your father or some close relative who gave his life, I guess this is a question that besets us all, the question of whether I will leave a legacy behind that will benefit others, particularly loved ones! This was articulately written, with a great sentiment woven into! Well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from Tegan1311
A very well done poem. Your words flow well and your message is sad yet though provoking (which I think is the best kind). Great job.
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A very well done poem. Your words flow well and your message is sad yet though provoking (which I think is the best kind). Great job.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from Ben Colder
When a person can honestly look at life and say well done would be something out of the ordinary. You poem reaches into the inner man. Thanks for sharing.
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When a person can honestly look at life and say well done would be something out of the ordinary. You poem reaches into the inner man. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from kiwijenny
As I lay at rest, did my life pass the test set by my father before?
Regrets, I have some, did it change the outcome, to what was so expected
My family I leave with examples to lead or given advice as to follow
But now comes the time to lay me down on this cold October morn_
Oh what would it be like if we could write from the grave,,,,well done
God bless
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As I lay at rest, did my life pass the test set by my father before?
Regrets, I have some, did it change the outcome, to what was so expected
My family I leave with examples to lead or given advice as to follow
But now comes the time to lay me down on this cold October morn_
Oh what would it be like if we could write from the grave,,,,well done
God bless
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from rjuselius
this is a brilliant piece of poetic art! i call it art because that is what i believe good poems are! you paint a nice picture of ups and downs.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
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this is a brilliant piece of poetic art! i call it art because that is what i believe good poems are! you paint a nice picture of ups and downs.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
Comment from adewpearl
good alliteration in never knowing/some sorrow
you set the tone well with the cold October morn
good use of question to involve the reader as he/she tries to come up with answers
Brooke
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good alliteration in never knowing/some sorrow
you set the tone well with the cold October morn
good use of question to involve the reader as he/she tries to come up with answers
Brooke
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
