Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "October Morn"A book of Poetry & Writing
150 total reviews
Comment from Black-Saphire
this was sooo beautiful :) i especialy liked:
Regrets from the past did set my road, which I was made to follow
Never knowing my quest or what lay ahead as I walk this avenue, some sorrow
you're an amazing writer--Keep it up:)
-Jade
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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this was sooo beautiful :) i especialy liked:
Regrets from the past did set my road, which I was made to follow
Never knowing my quest or what lay ahead as I walk this avenue, some sorrow
you're an amazing writer--Keep it up:)
-Jade
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thank you somuch for the comment Jade
Comment from Nanny 6
Very sad and powerful poem about looking back at the things that matter the most in life, pondering of what could have been and what influence you had on your family... Good Job... Judy
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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Very sad and powerful poem about looking back at the things that matter the most in life, pondering of what could have been and what influence you had on your family... Good Job... Judy
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thank you for reading Judy
Comment from marcii
Very interesting, I truly like the way you write.
The only small thing that I dint think went well was
(went road). I do think I know what you meant by it,thought it stopped the flow for me.
Marcii
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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Very interesting, I truly like the way you write.
The only small thing that I dint think went well was
(went road). I do think I know what you meant by it,thought it stopped the flow for me.
Marcii
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thanks for the comment Marcii
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form, good flow, good meter, nice picture, i like the questions portrayed and the answers you gave. i wish you well in your endeavor
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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this is very well written with good form, good flow, good meter, nice picture, i like the questions portrayed and the answers you gave. i wish you well in your endeavor
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thank you sweet for reading
Comment from janian
great poem! this got me thinking about my life.what am I leaving behind? what kind of path am I leaving for others to follow in? hopefully it will be a good , beautifull clear one. some people leave such beauty in their wake. thanks for such inspirational words.God bless you. janian
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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great poem! this got me thinking about my life.what am I leaving behind? what kind of path am I leaving for others to follow in? hopefully it will be a good , beautifull clear one. some people leave such beauty in their wake. thanks for such inspirational words.God bless you. janian
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thanks for the comment Jan and for reading my work
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your welcome blessings, janian
Comment from RebelRose
Very nicely composed and obviously well chosen words. Very poignant and profound. You expressed the emotions of a dying amn so well.
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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Very nicely composed and obviously well chosen words. Very poignant and profound. You expressed the emotions of a dying amn so well.
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thank you rose
Comment from Janine Ellis-Fynn
This is a beautiful, honest, heartfelt and reflective poem that portrays honest conviction and insight. I really enjoyed reading it, well done!
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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This is a beautiful, honest, heartfelt and reflective poem that portrays honest conviction and insight. I really enjoyed reading it, well done!
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thank you Janine for reading GW
Comment from missy98writer
deepwater,
this poem is really great, I loved it in fact. Fabulous free verse with some rhyming you've written. Dark imagery with the bitter-sweet narrative. Great art work and color presentation with the blue font. I love the repeating line: 'Now comes the time to lay me down on this cold October morn.' The lines that stood out for me:
History will tell of great men who fell, but what of us that did follow?
My world a dream, the life I've seen never knowing if there was a morrow
As I lay at rest, did my life pass the test that was set by my father before?
Regrets I have some, did it change the outcome, to what was so expected
Thanks for sharing your free verse. . .Melissa.
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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deepwater,
this poem is really great, I loved it in fact. Fabulous free verse with some rhyming you've written. Dark imagery with the bitter-sweet narrative. Great art work and color presentation with the blue font. I love the repeating line: 'Now comes the time to lay me down on this cold October morn.' The lines that stood out for me:
History will tell of great men who fell, but what of us that did follow?
My world a dream, the life I've seen never knowing if there was a morrow
As I lay at rest, did my life pass the test that was set by my father before?
Regrets I have some, did it change the outcome, to what was so expected
Thanks for sharing your free verse. . .Melissa.
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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your most welcome Melissa
Comment from mtngalofnc
Hi deepwater,
Your poem reminds me of a wall, I saw painted with an old man where his dreams were painted around him and he stood pondering the way he had lived his life. He faced those dreams of happiness and regrets.
I enjoyed reading your poem very much. If it were mine, there would be only one thing I would change. At the beginning you have used the word,"morn." But at the end you have,"morning." I would change the, morning to morn. Somehow it just seems a better fit. Simply a matter of personal prefference. Thank you for sharing.
Becky
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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Hi deepwater,
Your poem reminds me of a wall, I saw painted with an old man where his dreams were painted around him and he stood pondering the way he had lived his life. He faced those dreams of happiness and regrets.
I enjoyed reading your poem very much. If it were mine, there would be only one thing I would change. At the beginning you have used the word,"morn." But at the end you have,"morning." I would change the, morning to morn. Somehow it just seems a better fit. Simply a matter of personal prefference. Thank you for sharing.
Becky
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thank you for the comment and reading Becky
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Your welcome.
Comment from Wild Flower
I think this is the way with most people's lives - triumphs and regrets. It may be the kind of thoughts we'll all have toward the end of our lives. Nice job on it.
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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I think this is the way with most people's lives - triumphs and regrets. It may be the kind of thoughts we'll all have toward the end of our lives. Nice job on it.
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thank you wild flower
