Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Over the Top 1914 Eastern Front"A book of Poetry & Writing
238 total reviews
Comment from GentleWind
Well old soldier, this is clearly a picture of the past. A sad one, but the reality of war. The visuals are great and my favorite line is: You tell us our strength is sold to win your country back. This phrase comes into this century with the carnage we have seen for years in the Middle East. Well done.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
  |
Well old soldier, this is clearly a picture of the past. A sad one, but the reality of war. The visuals are great and my favorite line is: You tell us our strength is sold to win your country back. This phrase comes into this century with the carnage we have seen for years in the Middle East. Well done.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
-
Thanks
Comment from tfawcus
This resonated particularly with me as my father was in the trenches in Belgium until 1916 when he joined the Royal Flying Corps - out of the frying pan into the fire. Miraculously he survived both, but he talked about neither. Your poem echoes the reality of the conflict, the numb sense of inevitability - "With scorn and tears"...
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
|
This resonated particularly with me as my father was in the trenches in Belgium until 1916 when he joined the Royal Flying Corps - out of the frying pan into the fire. Miraculously he survived both, but he talked about neither. Your poem echoes the reality of the conflict, the numb sense of inevitability - "With scorn and tears"...
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
-
Thanks
Comment from mauial
I like this poem. But I think that a really solid point could be made with one change to this line: You tell us that our strength was sold to help win your country back. My thought is instead our strength was sold, how about "our youth was sold?" To me that makes the point that it is the youth who suffer over old men's decisions. Just a thought :)
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
|
I like this poem. But I think that a really solid point could be made with one change to this line: You tell us that our strength was sold to help win your country back. My thought is instead our strength was sold, how about "our youth was sold?" To me that makes the point that it is the youth who suffer over old men's decisions. Just a thought :)
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
-
Thanks
Comment from Chrisfiore
Hi deepwater,
What a turning point the first world war was. Little did anyone know it would escalate to the scale it turned out to be. Sadly, we are still fighting, never learning the lesson that war has no winners. Good poem. Chrisfiore
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
|
Hi deepwater,
What a turning point the first world war was. Little did anyone know it would escalate to the scale it turned out to be. Sadly, we are still fighting, never learning the lesson that war has no winners. Good poem. Chrisfiore
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
-
Thanks
Comment from mjac777
Really fine imagery for probably the most gruesome war in modern history.
The last line was so sad .... and summed up the horrors of war.
The love (loss of love) is so far from the battlefield. Juxtaposing the words love and blistering wounds and bombs whistling helped make the contrast even greater.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
|
Really fine imagery for probably the most gruesome war in modern history.
The last line was so sad .... and summed up the horrors of war.
The love (loss of love) is so far from the battlefield. Juxtaposing the words love and blistering wounds and bombs whistling helped make the contrast even greater.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
-
Thanks
Comment from Just2Write
The war of 1914 started with a single shooter.
Gavrilo Princip assasinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his pregnant wife Sofie in Sarajevo on June 28 1914. The horrors of that war are still with us 100 years later. It was the first war in which photographs were taken, so for the first time, we could actually see the hell that rained down for four long years.
The mustard gas, the walking dead, the mud and blood in the trenches of France - no human should ever have to endure such atrocities.
Thanks for posting a poem that addresses that war. In 100 years, it seems we have not learned much.
Rose.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
|
The war of 1914 started with a single shooter.
Gavrilo Princip assasinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his pregnant wife Sofie in Sarajevo on June 28 1914. The horrors of that war are still with us 100 years later. It was the first war in which photographs were taken, so for the first time, we could actually see the hell that rained down for four long years.
The mustard gas, the walking dead, the mud and blood in the trenches of France - no human should ever have to endure such atrocities.
Thanks for posting a poem that addresses that war. In 100 years, it seems we have not learned much.
Rose.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
-
Thank you
Comment from Fillmore Paige
The despair and desperation of men doomed for an uncertain cause is well communicated here. However, the reader would better served with a sense of antagonist/protagonist-- what country or cause is sending its soldiers to the ultimate sacrifice? Which country is being attempted to be won back? Is the cause just, or as many might say like the Seinfeld show, was it "the "war about nothing"?
I would also put in quotes, "Fix bayonets", and in the last line put "prepare" in the past tense to match time wise with the rest of the poem.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
 |
The despair and desperation of men doomed for an uncertain cause is well communicated here. However, the reader would better served with a sense of antagonist/protagonist-- what country or cause is sending its soldiers to the ultimate sacrifice? Which country is being attempted to be won back? Is the cause just, or as many might say like the Seinfeld show, was it "the "war about nothing"?
I would also put in quotes, "Fix bayonets", and in the last line put "prepare" in the past tense to match time wise with the rest of the poem.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
-
Thanks ii like it the way it is but great comments if this was an English issue but it's a free prom.
Comment from hari anand
I salute your knowledge, a poem on world war soilders defines their feelings in such creative content.
Thoughts of love were left behind,
As we prepare to die...the pain is so prominent here, reader can feel.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
|
I salute your knowledge, a poem on world war soilders defines their feelings in such creative content.
Thoughts of love were left behind,
As we prepare to die...the pain is so prominent here, reader can feel.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
-
Thank
Comment from OLA THOMAS
You opened this work with a metaphorical line 'Our dead will mock the searing heat.' Also, you delivered a powerful fact about war in your second to the last line of the poem with 'Thoughts of love were left behind' Every war is fought without thoughts of love. Good work/
ola thomas
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
|
You opened this work with a metaphorical line 'Our dead will mock the searing heat.' Also, you delivered a powerful fact about war in your second to the last line of the poem with 'Thoughts of love were left behind' Every war is fought without thoughts of love. Good work/
ola thomas
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
-
Thanks
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Deepwater,
Nice piece of War and History Poetry.
Beautifully depicts its theme.
Simple as well as impressive wording.
Smooth flow with lovely rhyming scheme and lively imagery.
".....Thoughts of love were left behind,
As we prepare to die"
Excellent!
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
|
Hello Deepwater,
Nice piece of War and History Poetry.
Beautifully depicts its theme.
Simple as well as impressive wording.
Smooth flow with lovely rhyming scheme and lively imagery.
".....Thoughts of love were left behind,
As we prepare to die"
Excellent!
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
-
Thank you
