Reviews from

Writings From the Heart

Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "old cowboys"
A book of Poetry & Writing

65 total reviews 
Comment from bhogg
Excellent
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To me, your best poem. Poetry is so personal, but there is one line where I think less could be more.

Between the working days and late, late nights her life was so insane (I'd drop was so and just leave her life insane). I'm not a poet, so maybe that is the writer side of me wanting to chop. In any event, a great read!

 Comment Written 12-May-2010


reply by the author on 13-May-2010
    thank you bhogg i'm not a poet i just write,
Comment from prophetess
Excellent
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Excellent poem, great message, strong verses, so spag, no typos, good presentation, and the artwork frames the piece perfectly. Good job. Thank you for sharing your art with us.

Prophetess

 Comment Written 12-May-2010


reply by the author on 13-May-2010
    thank you Prophetess for reading
reply by prophetess on 13-May-2010
    you're welcome
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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This is a very emotional poem. You did a wonderful job writting it. You have nice descriptions. It flows smoothly and was easy to read. I didn't stumble over any lines or words.

 Comment Written 12-May-2010


reply by the author on 13-May-2010
    thank you barbara
Comment from fictionwriter
Excellent
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You really need a girl who enjoys that sort of live to have the ranch not get in between them. I guess that cowboy should have picked me. LOL. Great job.

 Comment Written 12-May-2010


reply by the author on 13-May-2010
    thank you fictionwriter
Comment from Pili Pubul
Excellent
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Excellent my friend , I told you this before but may be difficult to marry a cowboy specially if comes from a different background.

The trials and tribulations that make us who we are
The teaching from our fathers that carry us this far
The heartaches we must carry to make it day by day
The love from that woman, he lost along the way

 Comment Written 11-May-2010


reply by the author on 12-May-2010
    thank you Pili
Comment from Sefiros
Good
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I am impressed that you were able to keep up the continous rhyming and make a statement at the same time. I remember my first poems and how i had to buther the english language to make it rhyme. The fourth stanza did break the rhythm of the poem. You might want to rework it or get rid of it completely. Nice job and looking forward to the next one.

 Comment Written 11-May-2010


reply by the author on 11-May-2010
    thank you for your comments
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
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Somewhere along in life, we must evaluate our lives. This is very well written with very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good job.

 Comment Written 11-May-2010


reply by the author on 11-May-2010
    thank you C_lucas
reply by c_lucas on 11-May-2010
    You're welcome, Gary. Charlie
Comment from Dom G Robles
Excellent
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I like your poem deepwater. It is full of rhymes and rhythm. I like best the two stanzas: Rich houses and the finer side was not what he has planned--Both tried to close that gap in life but came in deferent (different) worlds."

 Comment Written 11-May-2010


reply by the author on 11-May-2010
    thank you for reading Dom
Comment from Judi
Good
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Dear Deepwater:

This was just so nostalgic! Not that I am from that era --it's just that so many stories have gone by the wayside, about the cowboy and his lot in life, that we forget from whence we came!

I liked this piece so much for many reasons -- first and foremost, the fact is I loved that era. (Of course, television romanticized it a lot!) But life back then was so hard and wearing on not only your body, but your soul.

You did so well with this poem! The only (very slight!) suggestion I can make, is to change the spelling from 'deferent' worlds to 'different worlds'. Most likely it was that darn keyboard -- it does tend to have a mind of its own! Actually, only one adjustment that I can see. so I gave you 4 stars when it should have been 5. Judi



 Comment Written 11-May-2010


reply by the author on 11-May-2010
    thanks judi change made
Comment from Peter@Poole
Excellent
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This is the second of your poems that I've reviewed today, again enjoying the atmosphere that you create. Rhyming is good and the metre is smooth, telling a poignant story. 'Ridding' must be a typo. Peter

 Comment Written 11-May-2010


reply by the author on 11-May-2010
    thank you peter for reading