Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Your turn with the Soap"A book of Poetry & Writing
128 total reviews
Comment from Thilophian
Dear DW'
It is a good poem. It reminded me of the sins committed by us and out attitude to them. these 'lies' are sometimes not grave. They are white, simple and small. But for a small child this is a training to say big lies in future.
Well written.
Regards
Thilophian
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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Dear DW'
It is a good poem. It reminded me of the sins committed by us and out attitude to them. these 'lies' are sometimes not grave. They are white, simple and small. But for a small child this is a training to say big lies in future.
Well written.
Regards
Thilophian
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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thank you Thilophian for your review
Comment from missy98writer
deepwater,
Cleverly written poem reflecting live. Excellent use of metaphor with soap. Vivid imagery and very descriptive writing. Great rhyme and narrative. I especially enjoyed the lines:
How would you answer, no with yes? And regret the lie to please?
White lies, Big lies, Small lies, Untrue, where will this all lead?
Soap was the punishment for children, to wash away their lies,
What is it for adults, to wash away tears and pain we hide?
This poem very thought provoking. I liked the way you posed questions. I'm unfortunately out of sixes so a 'virtual six' will have to suffice. You're a very talented writer. I love your poetry. Keep up the stellar writing.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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deepwater,
Cleverly written poem reflecting live. Excellent use of metaphor with soap. Vivid imagery and very descriptive writing. Great rhyme and narrative. I especially enjoyed the lines:
How would you answer, no with yes? And regret the lie to please?
White lies, Big lies, Small lies, Untrue, where will this all lead?
Soap was the punishment for children, to wash away their lies,
What is it for adults, to wash away tears and pain we hide?
This poem very thought provoking. I liked the way you posed questions. I'm unfortunately out of sixes so a 'virtual six' will have to suffice. You're a very talented writer. I love your poetry. Keep up the stellar writing.
Melissa.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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thank you so much Melissa for your review
Comment from AmorGentil
it is a good Idea to wash out lies with soap, why no? it will be a good cleansing and yes Agua Profunda (deep water) we all are God's childrens and yes, your poem is a great reading, you are very good doing that, using the gift that God gave you.
(spiritual soap)
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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it is a good Idea to wash out lies with soap, why no? it will be a good cleansing and yes Agua Profunda (deep water) we all are God's childrens and yes, your poem is a great reading, you are very good doing that, using the gift that God gave you.
(spiritual soap)
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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thank you Amor for your review
Comment from jgirlie152
This is something to ponder...do we just say it's all right or do we say ... ok, but I don't feel good about this, let's talk it over. You've written this well to make us think what might be the best approach. I believe we are all God's children, but some break away...try as we might, unfortunately we can't save everyone.
Joan
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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This is something to ponder...do we just say it's all right or do we say ... ok, but I don't feel good about this, let's talk it over. You've written this well to make us think what might be the best approach. I believe we are all God's children, but some break away...try as we might, unfortunately we can't save everyone.
Joan
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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thank you Joan for your review and comments
Comment from Bethany5121
I love this poem I hope to read more from you in the future
I love this line the most
Forever saying it's going to be ok, but leaving words unspoken.
Keep up the good work
but I be a critic just a little bit just watch your grammar and I know you said you are not good at that I just had to say something critically but I really like this poem please continue to write you are very talented
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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I love this poem I hope to read more from you in the future
I love this line the most
Forever saying it's going to be ok, but leaving words unspoken.
Keep up the good work
but I be a critic just a little bit just watch your grammar and I know you said you are not good at that I just had to say something critically but I really like this poem please continue to write you are very talented
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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thank you Bethany
Comment from mchapman
This was truly written from the heart. Your turn with the soap reminds me of when I was a child. Things were handled pretty much the same way. Great story lline and imagery with a strong message.....thanks for sharing mary
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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This was truly written from the heart. Your turn with the soap reminds me of when I was a child. Things were handled pretty much the same way. Great story lline and imagery with a strong message.....thanks for sharing mary
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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thank you Mary for the review and comments GW
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welcome
Comment from ulster3
Hello deepwater.
This is deep like your screen name. I enjoyed the opportunity this poem gives for reflection. Very thoughtful work.
Blessings...Rebecca
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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Hello deepwater.
This is deep like your screen name. I enjoyed the opportunity this poem gives for reflection. Very thoughtful work.
Blessings...Rebecca
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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thank you Rebecca for the review and comments Gary
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Easier to read as well. Kudos!
Comment from idnami
I really quite like this one, though I am not a mega fan of this style of presentation. I especially like the line,
"And regret the lie to please?"
Which says quite a lot to me.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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I really quite like this one, though I am not a mega fan of this style of presentation. I especially like the line,
"And regret the lie to please?"
Which says quite a lot to me.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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thank you for the comments and review idnami
Comment from Leigh Ann
I enjoyed reading this poem. The flow, meter, rhythm were complientary to the subject matter. The content is thought provoking. Each day many of us put up a good front, not allowing others to see the true conditions were in mentally, and even physically sometimes. I the truth will set you free, there are a lot of enslaved humans in this world. Thanks for this poem rich in content. Leigh Ann
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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I enjoyed reading this poem. The flow, meter, rhythm were complientary to the subject matter. The content is thought provoking. Each day many of us put up a good front, not allowing others to see the true conditions were in mentally, and even physically sometimes. I the truth will set you free, there are a lot of enslaved humans in this world. Thanks for this poem rich in content. Leigh Ann
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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thank you Leigh Ann for your review and comments
Comment from Melba
This is a really good poem. I just saw one error on line 4 (where not were). Your words are so true and mean a lot. Our lives do revolve around words not spoken, white lies, big lies, small lies. We are all told we are all God's children and we are if God said it so, but he gave us the choice to be also if we chose and do as he teaches.
Melba
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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This is a really good poem. I just saw one error on line 4 (where not were). Your words are so true and mean a lot. Our lives do revolve around words not spoken, white lies, big lies, small lies. We are all told we are all God's children and we are if God said it so, but he gave us the choice to be also if we chose and do as he teaches.
Melba
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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thank you for the comments Melba i made the change and thank you for the review
