Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Your turn with the Soap"A book of Poetry & Writing
128 total reviews
Comment from stellasdaddy
Thank You for sharing this, it's been a topic on my mind a lot of late. We fall into the trap of conformity to please others but in doing so there is the fate of losing who we truly are, and this lost identity can be so hard to re-trace. Your text will make many think about this, and this - I believe - will only improve the state of humanity. Thanks again for your provoking images.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2010
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Thank You for sharing this, it's been a topic on my mind a lot of late. We fall into the trap of conformity to please others but in doing so there is the fate of losing who we truly are, and this lost identity can be so hard to re-trace. Your text will make many think about this, and this - I believe - will only improve the state of humanity. Thanks again for your provoking images.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2010
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thank you stellasdaddy
Comment from Georgina Lenty
Honest communication is crucial in any relationship, including the relationship we have with ourselves first and foremost. I love how you describe this in detail here - Simple format, easy to follow, a truly great read!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2010
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Honest communication is crucial in any relationship, including the relationship we have with ourselves first and foremost. I love how you describe this in detail here - Simple format, easy to follow, a truly great read!
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2010
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thank you again Georgina
Comment from FredCollingwood
When I read the title I had a totally different perception of what it was about. Your poem: that's the way it was and perhaps the way it still is with some people. Excellent!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2010
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When I read the title I had a totally different perception of what it was about. Your poem: that's the way it was and perhaps the way it still is with some people. Excellent!
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2010
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thanks again for reading Fred
Comment from adellatricci
Your title is very clever - it brings a sensory feel to your poem. I love the first line; how our lives revolve around words not spoken. It reminds me of family and of work gatherings that on the outside all appears well but below the surface simmers issues and lies. You touch on a very human theme that we often deny and avoid. Thanks for sharing your poetry.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2010
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Your title is very clever - it brings a sensory feel to your poem. I love the first line; how our lives revolve around words not spoken. It reminds me of family and of work gatherings that on the outside all appears well but below the surface simmers issues and lies. You touch on a very human theme that we often deny and avoid. Thanks for sharing your poetry.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2010
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thank you adellatricci for reading and reviewing my work
Comment from dragonpoet
This asks a good question. It is a flowing free verse poem.
The answer, I think, is that we have to find the way ourselves through giving and receiving forgiveness. Sometimes our punishment is losing parts of ourselves and maybe a change in a friendship.
We always have to remember that sometimes even the smallest like can cause big problems in the end .
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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This asks a good question. It is a flowing free verse poem.
The answer, I think, is that we have to find the way ourselves through giving and receiving forgiveness. Sometimes our punishment is losing parts of ourselves and maybe a change in a friendship.
We always have to remember that sometimes even the smallest like can cause big problems in the end .
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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thank you dragon for the review and your welcome comments
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You're welcome, deepwater
dragonpoet
Comment from mountainwriter49
I enjoyed the theme of your poem. It was
creative to use washing out children's mouths
with soap with they lie but then wonder about
what we'll do for adults who do the same thing?
and then when you ask the ultimate question,
the lines force us to think. I like that.
I saw one major SPAG error:
we are all Gods' [God's] children (unless you're referring to multiple deities)
With all due respect to you and your poem, it would benefit from some
tightening up and more effective use of punctuation. i.e.,
We are told , [delete comma] we are all Gods' children,[.] i{I]s that a lie or true?
Soap was the punishment for children,[delete comma] to wash away their lies,
Thanks for sharing your poem. -ray
ps I can personally attest that Ivory Soap does not taste good!
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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I enjoyed the theme of your poem. It was
creative to use washing out children's mouths
with soap with they lie but then wonder about
what we'll do for adults who do the same thing?
and then when you ask the ultimate question,
the lines force us to think. I like that.
I saw one major SPAG error:
we are all Gods' [God's] children (unless you're referring to multiple deities)
With all due respect to you and your poem, it would benefit from some
tightening up and more effective use of punctuation. i.e.,
We are told , [delete comma] we are all Gods' children,[.] i{I]s that a lie or true?
Soap was the punishment for children,[delete comma] to wash away their lies,
Thanks for sharing your poem. -ray
ps I can personally attest that Ivory Soap does not taste good!
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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lol Ray and thank you for the review and comments
Comment from Ruthi Hurwitz
I found this to be a good, thought provoking piece. It seems that we have a tendency to live a double life, one true on the inside and the other false on the outside. This frequently causes a conflict within. Due to the fact that we are aware of this conflict in our lives, we begin to doubt the outside world too, wondering whether those things told to us are true, or just another lie. Interesting
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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I found this to be a good, thought provoking piece. It seems that we have a tendency to live a double life, one true on the inside and the other false on the outside. This frequently causes a conflict within. Due to the fact that we are aware of this conflict in our lives, we begin to doubt the outside world too, wondering whether those things told to us are true, or just another lie. Interesting
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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thanks again Ruthi
Comment from Soulester
Hi, GW, You offer lots of things to contemplate in "your Turn with the Soap": Banal conversation, kinds of lies, childhood punishment for lying, words unspoken, and our belief in God's promise. That's a great deal to consider, and you've presented it well. Suggestion: "then say of things expected" might read better as "then say things expected". Just a thought. I enjoyed your poem. Mary
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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Hi, GW, You offer lots of things to contemplate in "your Turn with the Soap": Banal conversation, kinds of lies, childhood punishment for lying, words unspoken, and our belief in God's promise. That's a great deal to consider, and you've presented it well. Suggestion: "then say of things expected" might read better as "then say things expected". Just a thought. I enjoyed your poem. Mary
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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thank you for the comment and review Mary
Comment from P. G. Simpkins
this grabbed my attention from the first line to the very last, some very powerful questions about life, very detailed and i love the way you expressed this through soap! a great read, and well done : )
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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this grabbed my attention from the first line to the very last, some very powerful questions about life, very detailed and i love the way you expressed this through soap! a great read, and well done : )
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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thank you for reading this
Comment from JeJo
I have to say my favorite lines were:
"Soap was the punishment for children, to wash away their lies, What is it for adults, to wash away tears and pain we hide?" There are many types of lies, yet they all are untrue. We fake the truth to hide our problems. Good poem pointing out this concept. - JeJo
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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I have to say my favorite lines were:
"Soap was the punishment for children, to wash away their lies, What is it for adults, to wash away tears and pain we hide?" There are many types of lies, yet they all are untrue. We fake the truth to hide our problems. Good poem pointing out this concept. - JeJo
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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thank you Jejo for your review and comments
