Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "storm warning"A book of Poetry & Writing
178 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
When I got past the internal rhymes and fragmented sentences
and thought about it, I liked this better than at first. Used to hang out with an outfit that had a song the chorus of which ended "for those in peril on the sea."
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When I got past the internal rhymes and fragmented sentences
and thought about it, I liked this better than at first. Used to hang out with an outfit that had a song the chorus of which ended "for those in peril on the sea."
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
Comment from Dean Kuch
I love a good sea faring adventure,or poems and stories set on the seas, and have even made feeble attempts at writing a few of my own. That being said, deepwater, this poetic proclamation of faith, hope and salvation is about as good as they come. True, God watches over fools, drunkards and sailors, me thinks.
Like a man on an island, yet set on the seas, you weather this raging storm as best you can alone, yet finally succumb to the sweltering seas. Ah, but avast, post haste, lest ye sink further into fathomless depths, deepwater. You are rescued and carried home, home to long lost loved ones, friends and family.
Well done, some great rhyme, end rhyme and internal rhyming in this fine write.
Ahoy!
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I love a good sea faring adventure,or poems and stories set on the seas, and have even made feeble attempts at writing a few of my own. That being said, deepwater, this poetic proclamation of faith, hope and salvation is about as good as they come. True, God watches over fools, drunkards and sailors, me thinks.
Like a man on an island, yet set on the seas, you weather this raging storm as best you can alone, yet finally succumb to the sweltering seas. Ah, but avast, post haste, lest ye sink further into fathomless depths, deepwater. You are rescued and carried home, home to long lost loved ones, friends and family.
Well done, some great rhyme, end rhyme and internal rhyming in this fine write.
Ahoy!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
Comment from wiljacro
HI! deepwater, what a truly remarkable description of a sailors traumatic struggle to survive a shipwreck in a monstrous storm and the final moments when he is accepted into Heaven. It is almost as though you write about your own experience of such a terrible event, apart from the ending. A very intriguing read! wiljacro.
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HI! deepwater, what a truly remarkable description of a sailors traumatic struggle to survive a shipwreck in a monstrous storm and the final moments when he is accepted into Heaven. It is almost as though you write about your own experience of such a terrible event, apart from the ending. A very intriguing read! wiljacro.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is amazing in the experiences it evokes in the reader - as if they are right there with you sharing every thought and every fear. This is very deserving of all the recognition it has received. Nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
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This is amazing in the experiences it evokes in the reader - as if they are right there with you sharing every thought and every fear. This is very deserving of all the recognition it has received. Nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
Comment from JB Lynn
Wow. This kept me on the edge of my seat. I'm still not sure in the end if the narrator was rescued by man or by Heaven, but I'm not entirely sure it matters. I loved not only the details about the sea, but about the different parts of the ship, as well. You can tell this was written by someone who has actually done some sailing. Nicely done. Thank you for sharing.
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Wow. This kept me on the edge of my seat. I'm still not sure in the end if the narrator was rescued by man or by Heaven, but I'm not entirely sure it matters. I loved not only the details about the sea, but about the different parts of the ship, as well. You can tell this was written by someone who has actually done some sailing. Nicely done. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
Comment from Nosha17
This is a very nice piece about the sea and all its mysteries. It was well written with good choice of words and descriptions to express your thoughts. It was a smooth and enjoyable read. Faye
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This is a very nice piece about the sea and all its mysteries. It was well written with good choice of words and descriptions to express your thoughts. It was a smooth and enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 13-Jun-2014
Comment from honeytree
Great words written within here. The art work was very telling. I loved the creativity, the story and the ending that turned out to be fine, but could mean being saved to live again on earth or in heaven.
I enjoyed reading very much.
Honeytree.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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Great words written within here. The art work was very telling. I loved the creativity, the story and the ending that turned out to be fine, but could mean being saved to live again on earth or in heaven.
I enjoyed reading very much.
Honeytree.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2010
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thank you for your welcome review and comments honeytree
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Very interesting to read and glad you liked the review.
Honeytree.
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
Great work, Gary. I found strength in your words.
I'll have to fly white caps of fury, so hard to survive
screams' from this monster advise me to go hide, but no place to run as time's on her side
a crack from the mainsails, mast down to stay, dead in the water, no time to pray
calls to the coastguard, no one to hear, lights in the night sky, as flares drift so clear
radios stop working, time being denied, water is freezing as I push outside>>loved these lines.
Good work.
Isaiah Ramesses
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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Great work, Gary. I found strength in your words.
I'll have to fly white caps of fury, so hard to survive
screams' from this monster advise me to go hide, but no place to run as time's on her side
a crack from the mainsails, mast down to stay, dead in the water, no time to pray
calls to the coastguard, no one to hear, lights in the night sky, as flares drift so clear
radios stop working, time being denied, water is freezing as I push outside>>loved these lines.
Good work.
Isaiah Ramesses
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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thank you Isaiah fot your review and comments
Comment from bob cullen
How appropriate is this, at least the first half. I would think the young 16 year old lass rescued off West Australia on her solo around the world voyage would relate to this. Luckily she survived.
Your poetry has a great vividness to it, it is so easily pictured. You write with the awareness of experience. I enjoy your work
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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How appropriate is this, at least the first half. I would think the young 16 year old lass rescued off West Australia on her solo around the world voyage would relate to this. Luckily she survived.
Your poetry has a great vividness to it, it is so easily pictured. You write with the awareness of experience. I enjoy your work
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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thank you bob for your review and comments Gary
Comment from enjoi
"this sea is a mountain I'll have to fly white caps of fury,"
don't forget the comma before "white caps of fury"
"screams' from this monster" I don't believe you need the possessive apostrophe here. Beyond that, this is a rather good piece with great descriptions. Good stuff.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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"this sea is a mountain I'll have to fly white caps of fury,"
don't forget the comma before "white caps of fury"
"screams' from this monster" I don't believe you need the possessive apostrophe here. Beyond that, this is a rather good piece with great descriptions. Good stuff.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2010
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thank you enjoi for your review
