Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Winds of Change"A book of Poetry & Writing
251 total reviews
Comment from knowledge
This is well written poetry. It is like pondering on the subject of "shall I or shall I not, risks giving my heart away?"
Thank You My Friend,
Knowledge
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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This is well written poetry. It is like pondering on the subject of "shall I or shall I not, risks giving my heart away?"
Thank You My Friend,
Knowledge
Comment Written 14-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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thank you Knowledge for this review and comments Gary
Comment from gschroer
I left notes on the auto scroll as I couldn't remember how to get my review passed on to you. I mentioned that I would not use the word "Or" so much and that he correctly told us he didn't know much about grammar or punctuation. Punctuation is important, especially in writing poetry. True, one can use "poetic license," but sometimes meanings change without correct punctuation. I love the first line of his poem. The third line conjures up several different meanings for me, but maybe it is meant to do that. In the next few lines, punctuation can change meanings. I would punctuate this poem differently. I understand I am not an editor, but perhaps punctuation would change his meaning. I would leave out the first two "Or"s. This man on the tractor is a very good author with a good command of words. I would use some different words such as "agony" instead of discomfort. It needs a little work, but all in all seems to run all the emotions experienced in a lost love.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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I left notes on the auto scroll as I couldn't remember how to get my review passed on to you. I mentioned that I would not use the word "Or" so much and that he correctly told us he didn't know much about grammar or punctuation. Punctuation is important, especially in writing poetry. True, one can use "poetic license," but sometimes meanings change without correct punctuation. I love the first line of his poem. The third line conjures up several different meanings for me, but maybe it is meant to do that. In the next few lines, punctuation can change meanings. I would punctuate this poem differently. I understand I am not an editor, but perhaps punctuation would change his meaning. I would leave out the first two "Or"s. This man on the tractor is a very good author with a good command of words. I would use some different words such as "agony" instead of discomfort. It needs a little work, but all in all seems to run all the emotions experienced in a lost love.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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thanks
Comment from JeJo
For the ending
"next winds of change," is that supposed
to be a comma? or should it be a period
or question mark?
You have deep thoughts about this person,
questions running through your mind constantly.
I can see that you want the intimacy of a good
relationship but are afraid that "the cold
winds of change" will ruin what you had.
My favorite lines were:
"If I dare show you my heart, will you cherish the passion it would bring?
Or slowly destroy the life within with promises that will never be," - JeJo
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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For the ending
"next winds of change," is that supposed
to be a comma? or should it be a period
or question mark?
You have deep thoughts about this person,
questions running through your mind constantly.
I can see that you want the intimacy of a good
relationship but are afraid that "the cold
winds of change" will ruin what you had.
My favorite lines were:
"If I dare show you my heart, will you cherish the passion it would bring?
Or slowly destroy the life within with promises that will never be," - JeJo
Comment Written 14-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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thanks for the review Jejo
Comment from zoocq
I am always amazed by how deeply you touch the human soul and create such messages to inspire, describe and educate the soul of a poet. Thank you.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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I am always amazed by how deeply you touch the human soul and create such messages to inspire, describe and educate the soul of a poet. Thank you.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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thank you for this review zoo
Comment from pugrpoems
Dear deepwater,
Excellent Poetry!! I like the words you use and the line, "Or will the cold winds of change blow upon our earthly spirits," This is very heart felt, and sincere. AWESOME!! pugrpoems.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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Dear deepwater,
Excellent Poetry!! I like the words you use and the line, "Or will the cold winds of change blow upon our earthly spirits," This is very heart felt, and sincere. AWESOME!! pugrpoems.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2010
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thank you again Pugr for this great review and comments
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
Sounds like something I would do. Get lost in watching the water or in the winter we have a woodstove and even just watching the fire burn can get me. It's crazy what you think about and sometimes even start to see. It can be very soothing though
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2010
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Sounds like something I would do. Get lost in watching the water or in the winter we have a woodstove and even just watching the fire burn can get me. It's crazy what you think about and sometimes even start to see. It can be very soothing though
Comment Written 18-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2010
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thank you for reading my work and hope you like Gary
Comment from El.Marjie
Isn't that the risk we take! With any deep relationship comes great risk, but the loss of never taking that risk is the greatest risk of all. How beautifully you have addressed your questions. Sweet and tender, very touching. Thank you for sharing this. Best Blessings! Marjie
In reading this again, I have some suggestions. You've missed two or three capital letters at the beginning of 'sentences' and I would replace the colon with a comma. Still beautiful.
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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Isn't that the risk we take! With any deep relationship comes great risk, but the loss of never taking that risk is the greatest risk of all. How beautifully you have addressed your questions. Sweet and tender, very touching. Thank you for sharing this. Best Blessings! Marjie
In reading this again, I have some suggestions. You've missed two or three capital letters at the beginning of 'sentences' and I would replace the colon with a comma. Still beautiful.
Comment Written 07-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thank you for reading El
Comment from LYLE
GW
This is very well written with metaphors and images that are interesting and placed perfectly in the flow of the piece.
Sincerely, Lyle
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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GW
This is very well written with metaphors and images that are interesting and placed perfectly in the flow of the piece.
Sincerely, Lyle
Comment Written 06-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thank you so much for the review Lyle
Comment from JeffreyStone
Lots of intimate thoughts and insights from a less than confident lover. Although it lacked poetic form and rhythm, it posed questions that reside in many hearts. Thanks for the read. JeffreyStone.
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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Lots of intimate thoughts and insights from a less than confident lover. Although it lacked poetic form and rhythm, it posed questions that reside in many hearts. Thanks for the read. JeffreyStone.
Comment Written 06-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thats Jeff but each to his owen over a 100 reviews and you say it lacked form .
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Sorry if I offended. I try to be honest and constructive. I hope I was. Beest Regards, Jeffrey
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no offence jeffrey each to his or her owen or you win some ans lose some
Comment from Zoe Yates
To be or not to be...that's sort of the message here. I think this reads well, flows and all that sort of thing. I see this is your first year of writing, I encourage you to keep it up, keep crafting your words to feel fresh in your heart.
Good job.
Zoe Yates
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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To be or not to be...that's sort of the message here. I think this reads well, flows and all that sort of thing. I see this is your first year of writing, I encourage you to keep it up, keep crafting your words to feel fresh in your heart.
Good job.
Zoe Yates
Comment Written 06-May-2010
reply by the author on 07-May-2010
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thank you for your review Zoe
