All the seas's horses
A beautiful creature at risk due to man's failings15 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
I have been intrigued by seahorses since I was a little girl and we would buy seahorses at the shell stores on the boardwalk of the Jersey shore :-) What a wonderful subject for a poem, Jan. Your detail is vivid and fascinating and the picture is gorgeous. I also like the use of alliteration and imagery. Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 02-May-2010
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I have been intrigued by seahorses since I was a little girl and we would buy seahorses at the shell stores on the boardwalk of the Jersey shore :-) What a wonderful subject for a poem, Jan. Your detail is vivid and fascinating and the picture is gorgeous. I also like the use of alliteration and imagery. Brooke :-)
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 02-May-2010
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Thanks Brooke, I am glad it brought back some happy memories for you. My best friend of forty years and I had a really funny conversation about sea horses a few years ago and she bought me a little wooden sculpture of one, that is now on the wall in my bedroom. They are amazing creatures and, as with you, have fascinated me since I was a child. Regards, Jan
Comment from spiceydog
You have done a wonderful piece which captures the essence of these special creatures in their mystical underwater world. Your choice of words and structure mimic the gentle rocking under the waves. And even informed us and gave a gentle push to inspire us to change. I loved it!
reply by the author on 02-May-2010
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You have done a wonderful piece which captures the essence of these special creatures in their mystical underwater world. Your choice of words and structure mimic the gentle rocking under the waves. And even informed us and gave a gentle push to inspire us to change. I loved it!
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 02-May-2010
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Thanks spiceydog, that's high praise indeed and I'm pleased you liked it. They are such unique creatures and it is absurd that they are at risk of being endangered. I think they're awsome! :) Regards, Jan
Comment from laren
Thank you very much for this nice poem which tell us about
sea's horses. They are wonderful as you say and must be protected. Thank you for your author notes. They are very enlightening.
Congratulations!
Laren
reply by the author on 02-May-2010
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Thank you very much for this nice poem which tell us about
sea's horses. They are wonderful as you say and must be protected. Thank you for your author notes. They are very enlightening.
Congratulations!
Laren
Comment Written 02-May-2010
reply by the author on 02-May-2010
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Thankyou laren, I'm pleased you enjoyed this poem. The are such beautiful and unique creatures and I wanted more people to understand how much at risk they are. Thanks again, Regards, Jan
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Reading your poem was my pleassure,
Thank you,
Laren
Comment from paul in australia
Janelle, you have beautifully captured this unique creature. the picture, carefully chosen I expect, enhances your words. so much is conveyed in this piece. On one hand it is a well crafted description of the sea horse itself. On the other hand it gently prompts us to stop and consider what we are doing to the creatures of our world. In a word Janelle i found this entrancing. well done love it.
Regards, Paul
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Janelle, you have beautifully captured this unique creature. the picture, carefully chosen I expect, enhances your words. so much is conveyed in this piece. On one hand it is a well crafted description of the sea horse itself. On the other hand it gently prompts us to stop and consider what we are doing to the creatures of our world. In a word Janelle i found this entrancing. well done love it.
Regards, Paul
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thankyou Paul for such positive feedback, I am so glad that you emjoyed my poem about this unique creature, which is at risk of becoming an endangered species because of mankind's selfishness. Thanks again Paul, this was a lovely review to receive. Regards, Jan
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it blew me away in class Jan and has done so again, the image assists almost exphrastic regards Paul
Comment from words
Wow.
You knocked me out with this one.
Loved the flowed and how you spaced the words on the page.
I especially liked:sacrificed then
sold in paper
parcels, to alleviate
man's rage at
his self inflicted
impotence.
A powerful write on an important subject.
So well done.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2010
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Wow.
You knocked me out with this one.
Loved the flowed and how you spaced the words on the page.
I especially liked:sacrificed then
sold in paper
parcels, to alleviate
man's rage at
his self inflicted
impotence.
A powerful write on an important subject.
So well done.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2010
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Thankyou so much words, I am so blown away by this review. I loved writing this poem as I have been fascinated by the Sea Horse for a long time, and even more so since I did the research on them for this. The shiny stars are wonderful, and thankyou, but more importantly I think you are an excellent free verse writer so your praise is putting a huge smile on my face. thankyou, regards, Jan
Comment from rmdelta
Janelle,
this was really a terrific writing with such great descriptives it allowed the writing to flow with ease. Wonderful work, my friend.
Reggie
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2010
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Janelle,
this was really a terrific writing with such great descriptives it allowed the writing to flow with ease. Wonderful work, my friend.
Reggie
Comment Written 24-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2010
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Thanks Reggie, I am so glad you enjoyed it. I have always been fascinated by the Sea Horse and have become even more so since a did a little research on them. They are truly a remarkable creature. Thanks again, regards, Jan
Comment from patmedium
Janelle, I had no idea that these wonderful wee creaturesa are harvested for this sick purpose!
I was under the impression that they are under threat from global warming!
How awful! Thankyou so much for sharing this one. Pat.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
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Janelle, I had no idea that these wonderful wee creaturesa are harvested for this sick purpose!
I was under the impression that they are under threat from global warming!
How awful! Thankyou so much for sharing this one. Pat.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
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Thanks Pat, I'm glad you enjoyed this poem about this wonderful creature. It's a bonus that people are learning things about them that they weren't aware off. Spreading the word might help make their plight less certain. Regards, Jan
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Jan... I like to learn and in fanstoryland I learn something new most days! Pat.
Comment from jeslaf
Jan, this is a stellar piece--the alliteration and rich word choices are very good--and your admiration for these (indeed magical) creatures shines through every stanza. This shows effort, and it paid! :)
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
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Jan, this is a stellar piece--the alliteration and rich word choices are very good--and your admiration for these (indeed magical) creatures shines through every stanza. This shows effort, and it paid! :)
Comment Written 23-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
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Thanks Jess, this was a lovely review to wake up to. Yes, they are magical creatures. I've always loved them but after I did the research my imagination was really fired up. Think I'd like to come back as a sea horse, a female one! What a life, dancing every morning with your fella and then off to eat all day, make love on a full moon with romantic music, then deposit your eggs in his pouch and nick off and leave him to handle the pregnancy and birth! What a life! :) Regards, Jan
Comment from Raul GF
Hello Janelle, your poem helped learn new things about sea horses a creature I liked but now I admire. I enjoyed the rhytm of your poems, the pacing feels like itīs connected to the seahorse dancing in the ocean. I give you five stars, and only one suggestion that I had struggled to say or hold, I think you can elminate "for purely medicinal purposes" and the poem could feel stronger.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
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Hello Janelle, your poem helped learn new things about sea horses a creature I liked but now I admire. I enjoyed the rhytm of your poems, the pacing feels like itīs connected to the seahorse dancing in the ocean. I give you five stars, and only one suggestion that I had struggled to say or hold, I think you can elminate "for purely medicinal purposes" and the poem could feel stronger.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
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Thankyou Charlatan for your positive feedback, it is much appreciated. It is interesting that you pointed out the line 'for purely medicinal purposes' as it was mentioned by someone else, before I posted it on here, as being perhaps superflous. I will take another look. :) Thanks again, regards, Jan
Comment from Christina_Dufek
This was a very nicely written poem. It has great flow and captures the mystical beauty of this animal. It was full of information I never knew about seahorses. I have a new-found respect for them from reading this!
The only correction I have is just a suggestion: You end your first two stanzas with "These" and "A". I don't know if there was reason behind that, but if not, those words should probably be moved to the stanzas below them.
Great job!
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
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This was a very nicely written poem. It has great flow and captures the mystical beauty of this animal. It was full of information I never knew about seahorses. I have a new-found respect for them from reading this!
The only correction I have is just a suggestion: You end your first two stanzas with "These" and "A". I don't know if there was reason behind that, but if not, those words should probably be moved to the stanzas below them.
Great job!
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2010
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I am so glad that you have an even greater respect for this wonderful creature, after reading my poem, that has pleased me greatly. We should all spread the word so that people are aware of the danger they are in. Thank you for your positive feedback, it is much appreciated. :)
Ending a line with a word that begins the next verse is an enjambment that was done deliberately. It joins one stanza to another and gives it a different kind of flow. It's a style I like to use when I want a piece to be more fluid. Thanks again, regards, Jan
