The Senator's Mistress?
Opening Lines - Ten Chapters Contest27 total reviews
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
From your excellent first lines of ten chapters, I can tell you have the basic fundamental goodies in place for an interesting and exciting book.
Well done, Marijke, all the best to you.
Hugs, W ^-^
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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From your excellent first lines of ten chapters, I can tell you have the basic fundamental goodies in place for an interesting and exciting book.
Well done, Marijke, all the best to you.
Hugs, W ^-^
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thank you W^-^ for your great review and generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from Carol D Parker
Another great one. Suspensful. It reeled
me right in. Great hooks. They made me
want to hear the rest of the story. The
writing is very well done. Very creative
and so clever.
Excellent work.
Delora
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Another great one. Suspensful. It reeled
me right in. Great hooks. They made me
want to hear the rest of the story. The
writing is very well done. Very creative
and so clever.
Excellent work.
Delora
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thank you Delora for your great review and generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written contest entry. Your lines show that this could be a very good book that I would love to read. Good luck. Hugs, Teri
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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This is a very well written contest entry. Your lines show that this could be a very good book that I would love to read. Good luck. Hugs, Teri
Comment Written 20-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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Thank you Teri, for your warm and generous comments and rating. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from wierdgrace
The artwork is the best, and the lines are the best, I can not wait to see what is next, a great list of chapters for this cotnest, I truly hope you get many votes.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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The artwork is the best, and the lines are the best, I can not wait to see what is next, a great list of chapters for this cotnest, I truly hope you get many votes.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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Thank you wierdgrace, for your warm and generous comments and rating. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from Thesis
An interesting set of opening lines. I think this would be the beginning of a good book. I like the sequence of events you allude to. It would be fun to read. - Thesis
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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An interesting set of opening lines. I think this would be the beginning of a good book. I like the sequence of events you allude to. It would be fun to read. - Thesis
Comment Written 20-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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Thank you Thesis, I appreciate your kind words, and like that you believe this might be an fun read! Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from Krugerrand
Poor Georgina. Just from these opening lines I can tell she's had a rough time of it lately. I hope it turns out for her.
A good collection of lines that would keep a reader interested and wanting to know, what happened next.
Good job! Best of luck!
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Poor Georgina. Just from these opening lines I can tell she's had a rough time of it lately. I hope it turns out for her.
A good collection of lines that would keep a reader interested and wanting to know, what happened next.
Good job! Best of luck!
Comment Written 19-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Thank you Krugerrand, for your warm and generous review and your generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from axelbeariter
I'm not really sure, because I don't know the story; only suspect it. But having said that, from my perspectice, chapter 3 seems as it should precede chapter 2. I believe I understand the rest of your tale, but those two chapters confuse me. Enlighten me if I'm wrong. Other than that, you have started all your chapters with lines that would keep any intelligent reader on board to keep reading. Well done.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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I'm not really sure, because I don't know the story; only suspect it. But having said that, from my perspectice, chapter 3 seems as it should precede chapter 2. I believe I understand the rest of your tale, but those two chapters confuse me. Enlighten me if I'm wrong. Other than that, you have started all your chapters with lines that would keep any intelligent reader on board to keep reading. Well done.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Hi axelbeariter. The chapters are in the right order. She is attacked in her home. After she has been fixed, she is taken hostage at knifepoint. Thanks for your comments and observations. Warmest regards, Marijke
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Thanks for clearing that up. I realize now that I should have guessed that from the title. I'm still human.
Comment from Abio
Dear Fiona,
Good begining.
I may expect a different and interesting development and ending of what seems to be the "most logical" way this story can move ahead:
1 - She is Guilty by all means
2 - He is a Senator
3 - She is a women
Will be waiting to see your creativity to develop all ten chapters.
Saludos from Abio and good luck at the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Dear Fiona,
Good begining.
I may expect a different and interesting development and ending of what seems to be the "most logical" way this story can move ahead:
1 - She is Guilty by all means
2 - He is a Senator
3 - She is a women
Will be waiting to see your creativity to develop all ten chapters.
Saludos from Abio and good luck at the contest.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Thank you Abio, and yes, you have those three right - well maybe not the first one, that remains to be seen in the last chapter. Warmest regards and thanks for reading. Marijke
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Ja, Ja, Ja , Fiona,
I did not explained well my logic.
Yes, number one of my list should be number three, because being him a Senator and she a women, in our society there are 99.9% chance that she will be declared guilty, no matter if she is it or not !!
Have a good night.
Abio
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Oh, okay! In our society that is not necessarily so. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from MizKat
This is super. It was an enjoyable read and held my interest from the first sentence to the last. If you do make this into a book, I'd love to read it.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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This is super. It was an enjoyable read and held my interest from the first sentence to the last. If you do make this into a book, I'd love to read it.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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If I finish my current book, I just may do that. Warmest regards and thanks for your lovely review. Marijke
Comment from Helen Tan
As i follow the opening lines of the ten chapters, I feel the story moving. There's tension in the opening lines which will hook the readers to read on. As to whether it would flow from chapter to chapter, I'm not able to comment as we are not privileged to the full happening. Still it sounds an interesting novel.
Good luck in the contest.
I sense rather than hear the presence of someone in the room, yet I don't feel fear, just indignation that someone's inside my home.
This opening line to the first chapter is critical. It's a bit longer than what I like BUT you've piqued my curiousity with this character. I wonder how or why she "senses" rather than hear the presence. She comes across as a strong character.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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As i follow the opening lines of the ten chapters, I feel the story moving. There's tension in the opening lines which will hook the readers to read on. As to whether it would flow from chapter to chapter, I'm not able to comment as we are not privileged to the full happening. Still it sounds an interesting novel.
Good luck in the contest.
I sense rather than hear the presence of someone in the room, yet I don't feel fear, just indignation that someone's inside my home.
This opening line to the first chapter is critical. It's a bit longer than what I like BUT you've piqued my curiousity with this character. I wonder how or why she "senses" rather than hear the presence. She comes across as a strong character.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Thank you Helen for your great review and comments, I truly appreicate them. Warmest regards, Marijke
