Reviews from

I Hereby Crown Thee ...

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Shadow of Mirth"
A collection of crowns of sonnets

45 total reviews 
Comment from Dall
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ok.. I got lost for a moment and then jumped right back on track. If it didn't have the guts part I think this would be something for the children. Anyway, I enjoyed reading it well done!

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
    I wanted the guts to contrast the light-hearted tone, but it is a bit strong compared to the rest of the story, admittedly! So glad you enjoyed the read, and thank you for taking the time to leave me your comments :-)

    Mike
Comment from Oatmeal
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Fleedleflump,

The theme was good. The rhyming was well done. The flow was smooth. The arrangement is understandable and effective. It made for an enjoyable read.

There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
    Thanks, Oatmeal :-). Tis was a lot of fun to write and I'mso glad you enjoyed the read!

    Mike
Comment from Nicole Maye
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is truly exceptional. The ability to do this sort of sonnet is remarkable. Kudos to you. Fantastic read. Well-written. Metered. It flowed beautifully and wasn't forced.
Great job.
God bless.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
    Thank you, Nicole :-). I'm glad you enjoyed my poetic tale. I'd been meaning to have another shot at this form for some time and the story contest gave me the perfect excuse.

    Mike
reply by Nicole Maye on 23-Mar-2010
    You are welcome.
Comment from dragonqueen1983
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

i really hope that this poem dodes well in the contest as a crown of sonnets is very hard to do perfectly. you've done a really good job here

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
    Thank you, Dragon Queen :-). With your screen name you should have had a starring role. Perhaps I'll do that in the sequel! This was a lot of fun to write and I'm overwhelmed by the wonderful response. THank you :-)

    Mike
Comment from hotstuff
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Your story in a poem is amazing Mike. I loved it. I won't speak about format meter etc as it is not necessary, you know your stuff. The content is fantastic, so well written, entertaining and enjoyable to read. An excellent contest entry so good luck with it.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
    THank you, Hotty :-). I'm bowled over by your wonderful review. This was a lot of fun to write and it came smoothly, like all the best ones do. I'm so glad you liked it!

    Mike
Comment from cheyennewy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Fleedleflump,

I wish I was talented enough to write a crown of sonnets. I think one at a time is all I can do! You wrote this very well and told an interesting story in the process. I can't believe I used all of my sixes all ready so please accept a virtual one. Well done and good luck in the contest....chey

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
    Chey, your virtual 6 is humbly accepted and greatly appreciated. As for writing one of these, I juist think of it as seven sonnets and work on one at a time, and suddenly it doesn't seem so daunting. My only fear posting something like this is that it's too long and won't hold people's attentions!

    Mike
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is really quite remarkable,
not only the content, but the flow
to the words and rhythm, and how
you've managed to keep rhyme throughout
such a lengthy piece.

All in all, most impressive and deserving of a six.

fel, ??

Good luck with the contest, Mike.

Margaret.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
    Thank you for the wonderful review, Margaret :-) I enjoyed writing this one and it felt just natural at it's seven sonnet length, so the Crown was the perfect vehicle for my tale.

    Fel is a middle English word meaning dreadful, savage, horrid etc. It's usually written as Fell, Fey or Fae in modern English, but I thought the old form fitted better in the context.

    Mike
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is really excellent. I enjoyed it immensely. I am impressed with the complexity of this and sincerely believe it is a superb entry for this contest. I wish you all the best. Keep up the great work. I always look forward to reading your posts.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
    Thank you so much, Smurphgirl :-). I'm always thrilled to get a review from you and this is no different. I'm so glad you enjoyed my epic sonnets!

    Mike
Comment from Valkarie
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This ode is well deserving of the mark I've given you. It kept me enthralled until the end of the piece. I found it creative and very concise the visual part was excellent and stood out well. It was humorous in parts and in others dark and chilling. I think to create this is a very good writer. An impeccable piece of writing.

Valkarie...

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 22-Mar-2010
    Thank you, Valkarie, for your most lovely review and for honouring me with a six. I missed the Crown of Sonnets contest, but I thought it was a perfect vehicle to tell a story for this one. Thanks again for your encouraging words :-)

    Mike
reply by Valkarie on 22-Mar-2010
    No problem Mike, I enjoyed your piece it was very good.
    V...
Comment from jadapenn
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Mike, I truly loved this awesome poem of yours. It must have taken you some time to work out all the mechanics in this one. Terrific story but it surely is sad that both perished in the end. So, laughter saved the day.
Well written and presented. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 22-Mar-2010
    Thank you, Jada :-). Hitcher gave me the idea with his monster poem. I started it on the train to work this morning and have been fiddling with it all day. Now I'm on the train home, answering reviews; there's a symmetry there!

    Mike
reply by jadapenn on 22-Mar-2010
    I thought young Hitch had influenced you. lol