Comment from words

Excellent

I knew I would love this poem when I read the title and you did not disappoint.

I was also moved by your author's notes on what happened in the town.

The power of love to restore is truly wondrous ....

And as you show in your verse ... when something is loved it is transformed to a thing of beauty.


Well done!

 Comment Written 02-May-2010

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reply by the author on 02-May-2010

Thankyou words, I am so glad you liked my little whimsical poem. The photo itself actually prompted the poem, as much as visiting the garden that day. I took a few photos of the amazing and humurous sculptures that they managed to save and/or restore and I plan to write a few more poems for them. I wondered how people would react to the 'less than perfect'English, but I had to write it according to how I thought the Pianna man would speak. :) Regards, Jan

Comment from jeslaf

Excellent

Jan, this is marvelous--truly wonderful use of dialect that stays consistent throughout, and was easy for even me (unaccustomed to this particular strain of English) to understand. I loved these lines because I can relate: But I can't abide no walls or doors/It's unrestricted I likes to be, and also "I'll tinkle her keys" for the ring it has to it. Made me want to meet this 'character' though he is in stone. Terrific work. :)

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2010

Thanks my friend. It's interesting that you mention the dialect as I thought that might be why it wasn't receiving many reviews; people couldn't understand it. But it was often used in the work of the old Aussie poet masters and that's the style I love the most. It is encouraging that you understood it. I wish you could see this garden Jess, it is absolutely amazing. I am always humbled by people who are as clever as this sculptor, plus he has a unique style that produces such whimsical pieces that just scream charactor at you. Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for your encouraging words. Regards, Jan

reply by jeslaf on 22-Mar-2010

You could consider doing a series of poems based on his pieces and the other relics/remnants of the fires in the town. An Aussie publisher would snap it up, I believe, and you could use original photos to illustrate. Just a thought--I know your heart is there, and where your heart is, your poetic treasure lies! :)

reply by the author on 22-Mar-2010

You know that's exactly what I decided to do! I only got to take a few photos before my camera battery died. Might have to go back. Got my mind think about which one to write about next. I'm going to send them to Bruno. Hope he likes them! (thanks for even thinking they could be published, that made me feel darn right pleasurable! :)Regards, Jan

Comment from amada

Excellent

"So outdoors with nature's chorus
Is where the pianna's played by me." These lines jumped to me and held me tight! A different touch and point of view in the old faithful piano.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2010

Thankyou amada for your lovely comments, I am so pleased that you enjoyed my little piece of whimsy. Regards. Jan

Comment from allinmyhead

Excellent

This poem was pure fun. I loved the idiomatic English. To me, the "accent" read with a Cockney flavor, but I'm sure it's an Australian dialect, right? Enjoyed the old man and his equally old piano. You captured his spirit and joy. The never-quit attitude was right in line with the restoration of Bruno's garden. (I've seen photos and was heartsick when I heard the fires had almost destroyed it.
(Will be looking for more of your work. Back on FanStory after several months of inactivity.)
lynn

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2010

Thankyou so much for such a detailed and enthusiastic review, I appreciate it very much. I enjoyed writing this one, because after seeing the footage of the old man sculpture being returned to the garden and seated at his piano, I felt very emotional. It was a symbol of Marysville's recovery and the restoration of a much loved piece that inhabited this almost magical place. And yes, you must read it with an Aussie accent! :) Thanks again for taking the time to read and review. Regards, Jan

Comment from fictionwriter

Excellent

I love to play the piano too, but I perfer mine to be indoors and sounding tuned and fine. I loved this little poem. So very cute, and I can picture the old guy plunking away. Great job.

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2010

Thanks fictionwriter, your postive comments are much appreciated. I took the photo and then the poem just made itself up! The garden is such a magical place with so many wonderful sculptures, many of them with the same whimsical style to them. I am so glad that it wasn't totally destroyed by the fires. Thanks again, regards, Jan

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Thank you for your additional notes on Marysville to provide more context. I enjoyed your use of dialect to add authenticity. I thoroughly enjoyed your rhymes and the perfect picture you chose.

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2010

Thankyou Joan for your positive feedback. I enjoyed writing this one. After I took the photo the poem just seemed to write itself. Regards, Jan

Comment from Oatmeal

Excellent

Janelle,

The theme was cute. The flow was smooth. The descriptive words were well-chosen. Nothing too serious. Kind of fun!

I saw no SPAG and no typos. Everything looked in place.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2010

Thanks Oatmeal for your kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed my little piece of whimsy. Regards, Jan

Comment from nancyjam

Excellent

This is delightful. Love the rhythm
throughout. clever use of language -
you have really brought this sculpture
to life and given him a personality and
zest for life outdoors with his "pianna."
A pleasure to read.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2010

Thankyou Nancyjam, I'm glad you enjoyed this little piece of whimsy, I had great fun writing it. The visit to this ruined but still beautiful garden has given me such inspiration, especially this sculpture which is truly delightful and perfect for its setting. Regards, Jan

Comment from Kentucky Sweet Pea

Excellent

I absolutely LOVE this post, J! It's awesome. I can see me doing the same thing, you know. Old is good. Old love is even better. You're amazing. I wish I had a six.

Love,
Pen

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2010

Thanks Pen, a virtual six from you is as much appreciated as the real thing. I'm glad you connected with me pianna man, he's lovely isn't he? :) Regards and hugs to you, Jan

reply by Kentucky Sweet Pea on 21-Mar-2010

yeppers, he is! as are you. lovins~pen

Comment from closetpoetjester

Excellent

What a charming poem! A great job outlining this old faithful piano and all its character. Well penned and thoughtfully constructed. Cheers for a great read. I really loved "It's me favrit thing to do" classic turn of phrase in this and it is a credit to you.
Cheers closetpoetjester

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2010

Thankyou closetpoetjester, I appreciate your positive feedback very much. This garden is full of unique sculpture at every turn and the artist has even utilised a stream running around and through it to accentuate his work. Magical place. Thanks again, regards, Jan