Comment from L.lora

Excellent

As always, perfection reigns,
your poem floats right along
carrying the reader aloft with
your soft words and wisps of the
speakings of love. Most enjoyable.
Lora

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2010

---

reply by the author on 18-Mar-2010

Thank you, Lora, for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke

Comment from --Turtle.

Excellent

Hi Brooke,

I read this poem, and thought it was pretty. I liked the concept, sometimes the most precious things can't really be owned, and what is found in another person and treasured is one of them.

I did find the repeating line was a bit of a mouthful... didn't quiet flow off the tongue as easy as what I'm used to.

Also, as I do pay attention and try to be assistful. I noticed, authors note:
The capital letters denote those lines that repeat,

But it doesn't, it's following the structure of regular sentences for capitalization, so the authors note might want to clarify?

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2010

---

reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010

ABaAabAB - Capital letter line A repeats as capital letter lines 4 and 7. Capital letter line B repeats as capital letter line 8. The lower case letters denote non-repeating lines. I'm not sure what you mean.
Thanks, Turtle, for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke

reply by --Turtle. on 17-Mar-2010

Oh! silly me. I thought the capital letters in the Poem denoted the line was repeating. Well then everything's exactly as it should be. Sigh. So much for paying good attention.

Comment from laurelp

Excellent

Interesting piece. They say the eyes are the mirror to ones soul. Makes for an interesting venture if you look too deep. Very fascinating piece.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2010

---

reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010

Thanks, Laurel - I appreciate your kind review :-) Brooke

Comment from LateBloomer

Excellent

Hello adewpearl,

I enjoyed this poem and its sentiment. What is it about the eyes? They truly are the window into one's soul.

This poem reads and flows well and I have no suggestion for improvement. I particularly liked the following:

If I had naught but what I've found
within the wonder of your eyes,
(then One would have everything)

Keep writing. Regards, LateBloomer

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2010

---

reply by the author on 18-Mar-2010

Thank you, LateBloomer. I appreciate your thoughtful review :-) brooke

Comment from Oatmeal

Excellent

adewpearl,

The words you chose worked very well. The theme was good.
Very enchanted flow. The imagery was nice.

It is spotless.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2010

---

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010

Thanks, Oatmeal, for your positive comments :-) Brooke

Comment from DeboraDyess

Excellent

I don't know who your Valentine honey was, Brooke, but how lucky to have you writing the card! This is a beautiful love poem, in perfect form. Thanks for sharing, Deb

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2010

---

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010

My Valentine is a figment of my imagination :-) Thanks, Deb. Brooke

reply by DeboraDyess on 27-Mar-2010

Sometimes those are the best ones! :) D

Comment from BJean

Exceptional

The eyes are truly the window of the soul and speak volumns. What a wonderful triolet that flows and flows. Wouldn't it be wonderful to look into the eyes of true love? Very nicely done. Mothing materialistic could ever compare! Love, Jean

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2010

---

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010

Thank you so much, Jean - I so appreciate your lovely and generous response to this love poem :-) Brooke

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet

Excellent

This is very beautiful and romantic I enjoyed this piece the repeats work well adding to the feeling well done very well presented regards Fuller

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2010

---

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010

Thanks so much, Fuller. I appreciate your thoughtful review :-) Brooke

Comment from scottmaiorca

Good

I can see from your starts that I'm probably in the minority here. I thought the sentiment in the poem was exceptional. However I thought some of the word choices could have been better.

If I had naught but what I've found

Naught is a fairly archaic word and doesn't seem to fit the rst of the poem. Nothing seems to be a better word choice, IMO.

When word of all I have got round

I took me a couples passes between this line and the next to figure it out. Something it breaks the flow. I think I've may fix the flow but not entirely sure.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2010

---

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010

Thank you, Scott, for your thoughtful review and feedback. I love the word "naught" and the old fashioned sound it has, and I believe an old fashioned word suits the mood of romantic hyperbole and suits the triolet, a very old form. I totally understand that it will not have the same appeal to everyone, but it is a most deliberate decision on my part. Brooke :-)

Comment from DecrepitOldBag

Excellent

Brooke, this is a beautifully crafted triolet and really applies to love in all its forms. Mother to child, husband to wife -- everything. I so admire your talent! There is little else I can say.

Hugs
Kat

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2010

---

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010

Thanks, Kat - glad you enjoyed this one :-) Brooke