Reviews from

Performance Problems- My Life! LOL

Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Knightly Tales and An Angelic Being"
A halarious adventure with misery, but always joy!

5 total reviews 
Comment from cheyennewy
Excellent
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Hi Mike,

You should have kissed Jean, you silly boy. I found the story to be well written, interesting and compelling. You actually a Knight in shinny armor! Well done....chey

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2010


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2010
    She had a way of getting away. I think there was a split second delay between thought and action and she had ESP. I tried, I tried. I thank you very much in reviewing this and appreciate the comments. Hate to say it, anything with that girl went crazy. Some woman cause that phenomina.
reply by cheyennewy on 07-Sep-2010
    Yes, some of us do! Sorry it didn't work out....chey
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2010
    Well, one learns to take the realities in life in stride. While a harsh reality invaded things, I was greatful that she was there to bless my life.
Comment from nhorlandi
Good
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I presumed the other chapters of this piece is all right and even this chapter is also OK except for small typographical errors such as "Now I now...' should be "Now I know..." There are still few errors down the line. I suggest you review and correct the errors. Overall this is fine, dialogues are quite believable, no violation of the language rule, I mean grammar or punctuations, though there are words that should not appear along the line, it should be changed to a simpler words such "vocalized" which for me it does not sound well. "Voice out" could be the proper term for it. These are only opinions so don't take it seriously. Only minor changes is needed, one more time review of this chapter makes it perfect.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2010

Comment from IndianaIrish
Excellent
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Hi Mike. Your chapter is a good one...I think I like it because you're back onto the topic of Jean.

sitting like (angels)angles.

so much that I still will (be able) bea bale

Following them in, we many sponges and I decided to carry in the buckets of water and soap.(???)

start working on (your)you class projects

I left her (there)their like that

Indy :>)

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2010
    Jean is a good girl. I made the corrections and thank you for them, also the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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This is a very good read. I laughed in parts and worried in other sections. Great job with descriptions and dialogue. The characters are strong and their personalites come through nicely.

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2010
    I thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from Perp Ihebom
Excellent
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This is a well written piece about finding love and relationships in a school environment. I enjoyed reading it because it touched on many aspects of the school life. cheers

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2010
    I thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike