Reviews from

Blind Trust

Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "Breakdown"
A woman is stalked by a fan

17 total reviews 
Comment from RenieReader
Excellent
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Holy cow! That has to be absolutely bazaar to suddenly be all alone. Great concept, Gayle. I can hardly wait to see how this turns out. Edge of the seat stuff going on here, my friend. (I'm glad your page is back to normal.)

and I'm acting like a total moron[.] Remember why we're here, idiot.

Hugs,
Renie

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
    Wow, that was quick! Looks like you're all caught up. So glad to see you back, and up to snuff. We banish all those germ-bearing critters to the back of beyond. NOW!

    Thanks sweetie, and big hugs,
    Gayle
reply by RenieReader on 14-Mar-2010
    My pleasure. Still not 100%, but working on it. Thanks.
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
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this is a very strong and powerful chapter. You have taken a complicated situation and described it in words that both frighten and intrigue the reader. I this this is one of the best ones yet. Leaving the reader wondering what is going to happen next is perfect. You have me sitting on the edge of my chair waiting for the next chapter.

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
    Hey, Sasha,

    Thanks for the great review and super comments. Oh, I've worked on this so hard, it's gratifying to hear you like it!

    Hugs and thanks
    Gayle
Comment from fictionwriter
Excellent
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This multiple personality is really an interesting thing. I love how they banded together to shut Norman out, and now he'll have to face the consequences himself. Great job.

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
    I think their moves to control him might just do the trick. It seems like he's been able to escape the effects of his actions so far. Now he'll have to man up..or not!

    Thanks so much for hanging in there for this whole story. Gee, you're the best!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment from Luvs2rite4u
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I must say your dialog which took place between Alters, and Norman. In such a wonderful way with choosing very good descriptive words, and how the Alters' interact. As the reader? I felt the emotions rise and the tension begin.
(I am DID) So, this story was very, very true to heart.
Your specific style of writing was beautiful. I find nothing to change! Keep up the great work!!

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
    Oh, my goodness, I'm truly touched, Luvs. Truly beyond the six, which is wonderful. When treading on unfamiliar ground it is doubly satisfying to hear from folks who have first hand info. Wow, I'm truly touched, m'dear, you made my day!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment from Perp Ihebom
Excellent
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This is one story that can captivate anyone who begins to read it. I was particularly caught by the words of Nadia. Those counsels from a peculiar character are striking. cheers

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 Comment Written 14-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
    Hi Perp,

    Well, that's great to hear about the chapter. Sometimes it's just so hard to start at the back of a book, huh? Glad you enjoyed and thank you for the great review!

    Gayle
Comment from c_lucas
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a very well written chapter with some strong therapheutic backing. It's one of my favorite chapters. Very good job.

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
    Oh, Charlie, A Sixer! Wow, I can't thank you enough. This and the other, Amazing Grace, are my two faves, too. I particularly wanted to show the conflict Norman/Nathan have to deal with. And don't ya just love Nadia.

    Oh Charlie, how wonderful. Not much left and I'm thrilled this one moved you!

    Hugs and big thanks,
    Gayle
reply by c_lucas on 14-Mar-2010
    You are more than welcome, Gayle. Your work deserves it. Cahrlie
Comment from shelley kaye
Excellent
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go norman go! you can do it! :-)

great chapter!!!!

a couple things i noticed....
The side of the house provided ample protection until he reached the far corner. Deep shadows cloaked the entire area until he reached the cul-de-sac. <-- these two sentences, ending in basically the same way and telling the same - maybe you could play with them and put them together? like.... "The side of the house was cloaked in deep shadows. They provided ample protection until he reached the cul-de-sac at the far corned of the house."
(or something like that lol)

one more thing....
or remember him later, and ducking down, he <-- shouldn't the comma be after 'and'? [or remember him later and, ducking down, he]

other than that nothing else noticed

thanx for sharing!
shelley :)




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 Comment Written 14-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
    HA! Great idea. I went in and changed it. You're right. Needed to be sharp and concise! Wow, great review, shelley, and regarding that comma, let me see if anyone else mentiones it. You know me and those pesky little critters!

    Have a great Sunday,

    Hugs,
    Gayle