Triolets: Traditional and Modified
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "I've Dimmed the Lights"Poems employing this musical, repeating form
99 total reviews
Comment from --Turtle.
I think the triolet is interesting to read because I'm usually curious to know from which direction the repeating line is going to be lit by the other lines when it comes around or goes again. This particular one caught my mood. I think I'm tired, moreso than just tired, but tired. And that I have a feeling I can't catch up. There's nothing more frustrating than needing something, and knowing it can't come, and I felt this in this triolet.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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I think the triolet is interesting to read because I'm usually curious to know from which direction the repeating line is going to be lit by the other lines when it comes around or goes again. This particular one caught my mood. I think I'm tired, moreso than just tired, but tired. And that I have a feeling I can't catch up. There's nothing more frustrating than needing something, and knowing it can't come, and I felt this in this triolet.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Turtle, thank you for letting me know I was able to communicate exactly what I meant to in this poem. Brooke :-)
Comment from DeboraDyess
when hope has gone
to dwell in halls where shadows weep. >> Awesome imagry.
Your imagry is vivid throughout the poem, and it conveys such a mournful feeling. Well written. Deb
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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when hope has gone
to dwell in halls where shadows weep. >> Awesome imagry.
Your imagry is vivid throughout the poem, and it conveys such a mournful feeling. Well written. Deb
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Deb. I so appreciate your gracious response to this poem. Brooke :-)
Comment from Joan E.
I saw this picture on Monday and was quite intrigued by it and am glad you used it so I could view it again, since I didn't remember the category it was in! Well beyond the synergistic picture, I particularly enjoyed your use of alliteration and personification of "shadows"--you captured the mood perfectly in your evocative triolet.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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I saw this picture on Monday and was quite intrigued by it and am glad you used it so I could view it again, since I didn't remember the category it was in! Well beyond the synergistic picture, I particularly enjoyed your use of alliteration and personification of "shadows"--you captured the mood perfectly in your evocative triolet.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Joan - I'm pleased this triolet works for you :-) Brooke
Comment from mourningdove
Restlessness just seems to come out at night--when the shades have been drawn and the lights dimmed. I don't know anyone who can't relate to this one, even if only once in a while. Not a fan of much repetition, but here it reinforces the monotony of another sleepless night. Guess I'm seeing the connection between the repetive genres and how they seem to just 'click' with certain subjects. Take care,
Heather
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Restlessness just seems to come out at night--when the shades have been drawn and the lights dimmed. I don't know anyone who can't relate to this one, even if only once in a while. Not a fan of much repetition, but here it reinforces the monotony of another sleepless night. Guess I'm seeing the connection between the repetive genres and how they seem to just 'click' with certain subjects. Take care,
Heather
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Yeah, I know - night always brings out the anxieties. I try to match poem topics with poetry forms, so I appreciate that comment :-) Brooke
Comment from Mariea
Another great piece Brooke. Restless nights are the bane of my life.
Structure - well put together and developed
Rhyme - consistent throughout
Rhythm - nice easy flow.
Have a great day. Regards Mia
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Another great piece Brooke. Restless nights are the bane of my life.
Structure - well put together and developed
Rhyme - consistent throughout
Rhythm - nice easy flow.
Have a great day. Regards Mia
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Mia - sorry you can relate so well. Brooke :-)
Comment from flygirl254
First of all, I have always said cannot with the accent on the first syllable as well, but I do appreciate your putting it in the author's notes. There are times when I'll use a word that is questionable on syllables or accent and I will clarify from the beginning so everyone is on the same page.
Now, on to the review! I haven't done this in so long it's crazy. We've been very busy. Anyway, I do love this poem. It also identify with it, as I have insomnia quite a bit these days. I think the picture makes the poem remind me of days of castles and sleeping chambers. I like the repeating line as it also gives me that same feeling. I think the line, "as restless nights stretch out to dawn," is my favorite. Your meter and rhyme scheme are just right. Great work on this poem!
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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First of all, I have always said cannot with the accent on the first syllable as well, but I do appreciate your putting it in the author's notes. There are times when I'll use a word that is questionable on syllables or accent and I will clarify from the beginning so everyone is on the same page.
Now, on to the review! I haven't done this in so long it's crazy. We've been very busy. Anyway, I do love this poem. It also identify with it, as I have insomnia quite a bit these days. I think the picture makes the poem remind me of days of castles and sleeping chambers. I like the repeating line as it also gives me that same feeling. I think the line, "as restless nights stretch out to dawn," is my favorite. Your meter and rhyme scheme are just right. Great work on this poem!
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Teresa - I can imagine you would be happy with kids at home - I didn't do the kind of writing I do now when my kids were 10. Brooke :-)
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Just recently I have been experiencing many sleepless nights. My mind seems like a speeding collage of thoughts, images and troubles. Just doesn't want to stop.
This excellent piece gives me a little respite knowing other people has the same affliction............jim
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2010
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Just recently I have been experiencing many sleepless nights. My mind seems like a speeding collage of thoughts, images and troubles. Just doesn't want to stop.
This excellent piece gives me a little respite knowing other people has the same affliction............jim
Comment Written 15-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Jim - it happens to all of us at one point or another! Brooke :-)
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
This is a very strong piece describing how some nights that we find we cannot sleep it is very well done another example of your versatility as a poet well done regards Fuller
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2010
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This is a very strong piece describing how some nights that we find we cannot sleep it is very well done another example of your versatility as a poet well done regards Fuller
Comment Written 15-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Fuller, for your kind review :-) Brooke
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
How beautifully written. So many of us will relate to this. So hard to summon sleep, when 'hope' is gone. Great rhythm and flow to this creative offering. Well done! Thanks so much for sharing. Betty
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2010
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How beautifully written. So many of us will relate to this. So hard to summon sleep, when 'hope' is gone. Great rhythm and flow to this creative offering. Well done! Thanks so much for sharing. Betty
Comment Written 15-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Betty, for your encouraging comments on this poem. Brooke
Comment from Frozen Fire
Wow...can I relate to this! I love how this piece sounds when reading it, and I can imagine this subject holds true to so many. You did a great job with this poem style. You probably can't sleep because your mind is filled with such good ideas to write down!
Shirley
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2010
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Wow...can I relate to this! I love how this piece sounds when reading it, and I can imagine this subject holds true to so many. You did a great job with this poem style. You probably can't sleep because your mind is filled with such good ideas to write down!
Shirley
Comment Written 15-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Shirley. Sorry you can relate :-) Brooke
