Forbidden Fruit
a shadorma88 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
This is a nice little shadorma poem. This reminds me of an alcoholic taking that first drink and not being able to say no to another and another. The same with drug addiction. Ever promiscuousness is like that. Once your gone that first mile, it hard to turn back. You little poem contains a lot of truth.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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This is a nice little shadorma poem. This reminds me of an alcoholic taking that first drink and not being able to say no to another and another. The same with drug addiction. Ever promiscuousness is like that. Once your gone that first mile, it hard to turn back. You little poem contains a lot of truth.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Beth. Yep, the first step leads down. Brooke :-)
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
You are absolutely right, my friend. Once the initial forbidden step is taken, might as well finish the job. That is just what Jesus meant when he said that when you offend one point, you have offened all.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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You are absolutely right, my friend. Once the initial forbidden step is taken, might as well finish the job. That is just what Jesus meant when he said that when you offend one point, you have offened all.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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Thank you, my friend - yes, I think some people think, well, the first few times don't count, that's not really serious. Doesn't really work that way!! Brooke :-)
Comment from Just2Write
Very poignant thoughts about that first bite. It really made an impact with me. Especially so when thinking about why there is temptations in the first place. Why was there forbidden fruit - so tasty looking, and perfect. No wonder Eve wanted a bite. It is a hard lesson that often things which appear so desirable come with such dire consequences. Rose.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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Very poignant thoughts about that first bite. It really made an impact with me. Especially so when thinking about why there is temptations in the first place. Why was there forbidden fruit - so tasty looking, and perfect. No wonder Eve wanted a bite. It is a hard lesson that often things which appear so desirable come with such dire consequences. Rose.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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Rose, thank you :-) We all face temptations all the time, and yes, giving in often has such terrible consequences. Brooke :-)
Comment from rmdelta
Brooke,
this is my first review in awhile and what a great poem. Uh, it is a poem, right? "Shadorma?" What? Man, every time I read one of your writings you come up with something different. This was brilliant, however. Made perfect sense to me. Great work, my friend.
Reggie
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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Brooke,
this is my first review in awhile and what a great poem. Uh, it is a poem, right? "Shadorma?" What? Man, every time I read one of your writings you come up with something different. This was brilliant, however. Made perfect sense to me. Great work, my friend.
Reggie
Comment Written 04-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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Yep, it's a poem, Reggie. LOL Thanks so much :-) Brooke
Comment from jadapenn
But the forbidden fruit is so delicious! I liked this shadorma. Your words carry a deep message. We should not be tempted, but :)
Well written and presented. Luv jada
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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But the forbidden fruit is so delicious! I liked this shadorma. Your words carry a deep message. We should not be tempted, but :)
Well written and presented. Luv jada
Comment Written 04-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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Yes, I know, jada - your stories are filled with characters who specialize in forbidden fruit. LOL Brooke :-)
Comment from flygirl254
First, let me say sorry for having this late review and for being away, but we first travelled 900 miles round trip to move my mom here to Ohio, and then the day after we were done unpacking the truck, she and I fell very ill with a flu bug. We've had it for three days, and then tonight, suddenly, both James and Francesanne started throwing up as well, and that's what I've been doing now for about five hours straight, running "puke bowls" to the bathroom to clean them after holding the kids' hands and such while they get sick. This is one nasty sickness!
On to the reviewing! This is a really cool poem. Honestly, my first thoughts as I read were of "Snow White" because of the poison apple that she had one bite from. That seemed to be solidified by, "lips close," because so much is made of her ruby lips, but then the key explaining line, "all is forsaken," made me realize just which forbidden fruit we are speaking of. Great work on this poem. It fit the mechanics of the shadorma very well.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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First, let me say sorry for having this late review and for being away, but we first travelled 900 miles round trip to move my mom here to Ohio, and then the day after we were done unpacking the truck, she and I fell very ill with a flu bug. We've had it for three days, and then tonight, suddenly, both James and Francesanne started throwing up as well, and that's what I've been doing now for about five hours straight, running "puke bowls" to the bathroom to clean them after holding the kids' hands and such while they get sick. This is one nasty sickness!
On to the reviewing! This is a really cool poem. Honestly, my first thoughts as I read were of "Snow White" because of the poison apple that she had one bite from. That seemed to be solidified by, "lips close," because so much is made of her ruby lips, but then the key explaining line, "all is forsaken," made me realize just which forbidden fruit we are speaking of. Great work on this poem. It fit the mechanics of the shadorma very well.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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So, is Mom now living in your house with you? I hope if she is, she is a happy mom and not one who second guesses your parenting, as that can make for interesting times. LOL I had a mother in law like that - I put a sweater on a kid and it was too hot, I didn't put a sweater on and I should have. You get the point. :-) Thanks so much for you thoughtful review :-) brooke
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Oh believe me, I know how that is, too. The way the house is set up, with two separate and distinct living areas, it's hopefully going to preserve privacy and such. And I think as I get older, have my husband's support, and have matured in my outlook on things, I can smile and nod when I have to, and I can stand up for my family when I have to. I explained before she came that I am old enough that I don't need someone to mother me, but I do want someone to be our roommate and friend.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Brooke:
I have to tell you I am
just loving playing with
the shadorma format. It is
like playing with a double
haiku/senryu in some respects.
The real question to your
piece is what part of forbidden
do we not understand? love, jan
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2010
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Brooke:
I have to tell you I am
just loving playing with
the shadorma format. It is
like playing with a double
haiku/senryu in some respects.
The real question to your
piece is what part of forbidden
do we not understand? love, jan
Comment Written 03-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Jan. You're so right - some people think there is an escape clause or loophole - like, well, I only did it a few times. Nope, once you've cheated or stolen or betrayed a trust, whatever, you've done it. Doing it over and over only compounds the situation and makes it worse, but there's no free pass that says you have to give into temptation 5 times before it actually counts! LOL Brooke
Comment from sgalletti
Hah! Just like poor Eve! Fun shadorma. I have really enjoyed your series. They are fun, light and full of humor and wit. Sue
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2010
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Hah! Just like poor Eve! Fun shadorma. I have really enjoyed your series. They are fun, light and full of humor and wit. Sue
Comment Written 03-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2010
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Thanks so much, Sue - I just PM'd you. Brooke :-)
Comment from debskatz
Hey brooke,
interesting type of poetry. i've never heard of it. i like what your poem has to say, & agree up to a point. take ole Tiger for instance. if he'd just had one bite of the fruit & realized he shouldn't have, that's one thing. but he kept eating that fruit, & that's something else again. don't cha think?
thanks for sharing this type of poetry with us & reminding us to watch what we eat!!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2010
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Hey brooke,
interesting type of poetry. i've never heard of it. i like what your poem has to say, & agree up to a point. take ole Tiger for instance. if he'd just had one bite of the fruit & realized he shouldn't have, that's one thing. but he kept eating that fruit, & that's something else again. don't cha think?
thanks for sharing this type of poetry with us & reminding us to watch what we eat!!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 03-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2010
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Oh, yeah, I think you can make it worse by repeating the act over and over, but after one time with one woman, he's still a damned cheater. Thanks, Deb. Brooke :-)
Comment from Dave-Aranda-Richards
And then there are those like Tiger Woods who eat an entire bushel. Brooke this brought back memories of that time in the Dodge Dart.
Dave
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2010
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And then there are those like Tiger Woods who eat an entire bushel. Brooke this brought back memories of that time in the Dodge Dart.
Dave
Comment Written 03-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2010
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Yeah, he had to have some mighty indigestion - hey, all I did in that Dodge Dart was a little kissing!!! Remember the part about the heavy winter coats??? LOL and then I married the guy :-) You're a hoot, Dave. Brooke
