Triolets: Traditional and Modified
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "I Hear a Whisper in the Breeze"Poems employing this musical, repeating form
96 total reviews
Comment from Annmuma
This is extra, special super! I felt the breeze and heard the buzzing. Maybe it is my longing for springtime that made my heart so open to this verse. Exceptional. ann
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2010
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This is extra, special super! I felt the breeze and heard the buzzing. Maybe it is my longing for springtime that made my heart so open to this verse. Exceptional. ann
Comment Written 03-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2010
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Ann, thank you so very very much! I really do appreciate both you comments and generous rating. Brooke :-)
Comment from Brad Sterling
As a new member, I can readily see why this Lady is No. 1 Writer - I admire the so deceptive ease with which the story so simply and effectively flows - this is an example of real, true poetry - it tells a story and it rhymes and scans - look forward to reading further presentations - thank you for the pleasure this poem has given me.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2010
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As a new member, I can readily see why this Lady is No. 1 Writer - I admire the so deceptive ease with which the story so simply and effectively flows - this is an example of real, true poetry - it tells a story and it rhymes and scans - look forward to reading further presentations - thank you for the pleasure this poem has given me.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2010
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Thank you so much for such kind words and generous rating, Brad. I truly appreciate your lovely review :-) Brooke And welcome to your writing community!!!
Comment from LauraKatherine
Gorgeous photo.
I like how you use the "b/z" sounding words (buzzing, bees, breeze) to create the sound of whispering. I could almost hear the buzz of the bees...not too loud as to be irritating, not too soft as to be unheard, but simply a whisper carried on a gentle breeze to your ears (and from you to the reader).
There's a prayerful quality about the poem to me. The soft whisper, the tender voice, being lifted from bended knee, rejoicing in all life. I can often sense God's presence out in nature better than inside man made buildings.
The tender voice whispering in the breeze also reminded me of the prophet (I think Elijah) who hears God's voice in a gentle wind rather than the fury of a storm, and is given encouragement and a renewed sense of God's presence. (I hope I'm remembering the story correctly.)
My favorite line has to be "I hear a whisper in the breeze." I was glad it was repeated three times, flowing naturally out of and into the surrounding lines like a chorus. The repetition underscored its importance.
Gorgeous work. LK
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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Gorgeous photo.
I like how you use the "b/z" sounding words (buzzing, bees, breeze) to create the sound of whispering. I could almost hear the buzz of the bees...not too loud as to be irritating, not too soft as to be unheard, but simply a whisper carried on a gentle breeze to your ears (and from you to the reader).
There's a prayerful quality about the poem to me. The soft whisper, the tender voice, being lifted from bended knee, rejoicing in all life. I can often sense God's presence out in nature better than inside man made buildings.
The tender voice whispering in the breeze also reminded me of the prophet (I think Elijah) who hears God's voice in a gentle wind rather than the fury of a storm, and is given encouragement and a renewed sense of God's presence. (I hope I'm remembering the story correctly.)
My favorite line has to be "I hear a whisper in the breeze." I was glad it was repeated three times, flowing naturally out of and into the surrounding lines like a chorus. The repetition underscored its importance.
Gorgeous work. LK
Comment Written 03-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Laura. As always, your reading of my work is insightful and picks up those things I worked to achieve, letting me know that someone really appreciates the time I take on the details. That means so much :-) Brooke
Comment from hotstuff
A form of poetry that transports my mind to an age long gone. It also brought images of summer days and warm air scented from an abundance of flowers. Lovely thoughts so thank you.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2010
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A form of poetry that transports my mind to an age long gone. It also brought images of summer days and warm air scented from an abundance of flowers. Lovely thoughts so thank you.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your wonderful visits and comments today, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from MJMuraco
Brooke, your poem is beautiful and the presentation is great. I especially liked "I hear a whisper in the breeze
that speaks to me with tender voice'" Very well written.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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Brooke, your poem is beautiful and the presentation is great. I especially liked "I hear a whisper in the breeze
that speaks to me with tender voice'" Very well written.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Mary Jayne, for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from HAWordsmith
A lovely offering and a pleasure to read. A good use and mix of assonance and consonance that just keeps the words flowing to the end. Thank you for this posting and many blessings. I pray that all is well with you.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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A lovely offering and a pleasure to read. A good use and mix of assonance and consonance that just keeps the words flowing to the end. Thank you for this posting and many blessings. I pray that all is well with you.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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Thanks so much, my friend - glad you enjoyed :-) Brooke
Comment from Charlene0513
To adewpearl,
A triolet poem that echos in the Spring time amist nature's goodness and the tender whiff of air that accompany the flowers and helps them to bloom with the rays of the illuminating sun.
Charlene
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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To adewpearl,
A triolet poem that echos in the Spring time amist nature's goodness and the tender whiff of air that accompany the flowers and helps them to bloom with the rays of the illuminating sun.
Charlene
Comment Written 02-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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thanks so much, Charlene, for your most thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from elainec4
adewpearl,
How beautiful this triolet!! I admire your talent with so many and varied forms. And I always benefit from your author notes. Thanks again for sharing. elaine
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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adewpearl,
How beautiful this triolet!! I admire your talent with so many and varied forms. And I always benefit from your author notes. Thanks again for sharing. elaine
Comment Written 02-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Elaine. I'm so glad you enjoyed this triolet :-) Brooke
Comment from mstad55
Thanks for sharing this thought provoking poem. I am sure most people get the idea behind the still small voice that speaks to us. To some more than others. In actuality, it's not the voice in the breeze, it's the time we take to listen. To be quite just long enough to know the sound of the voice in the breeze. It's when we recognize the tender voice that we can thus rise from our knees and acknowledge all life and rejoice. For truly it is a gift. Well done. Mike
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2010
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Thanks for sharing this thought provoking poem. I am sure most people get the idea behind the still small voice that speaks to us. To some more than others. In actuality, it's not the voice in the breeze, it's the time we take to listen. To be quite just long enough to know the sound of the voice in the breeze. It's when we recognize the tender voice that we can thus rise from our knees and acknowledge all life and rejoice. For truly it is a gift. Well done. Mike
Comment Written 02-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2010
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Mike, what insightful comments in this gracious review - thank you!!! Brooke :-)
Comment from Oatmeal
adewpearl,
Very reflective, all thoughts are very well described, understandable and comprehensible. Very well formatted and full of descriptive narrations.
There was no SPAG. No room for improvement.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2010
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adewpearl,
Very reflective, all thoughts are very well described, understandable and comprehensible. Very well formatted and full of descriptive narrations.
There was no SPAG. No room for improvement.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 02-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2010
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Thanks, Oatmeal, for your positive review. Brooke :-)
