Barren Fields
contemplative tanka100 total reviews
Comment from JeffreyStone
Thank God for the poet whose words are a reflection of Gods enduring gifts. Neither storm nor strife shall put asunder His creations nor the truth of poets such as you. Congratulations. Jeffrey'stone
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2010
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Thank God for the poet whose words are a reflection of Gods enduring gifts. Neither storm nor strife shall put asunder His creations nor the truth of poets such as you. Congratulations. Jeffrey'stone
Comment Written 12-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2010
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Thank you, Jeffrey, for your most thoughtful comments. Brooke
Comment from SamanthaD.
Oh, this is so profound! I absolutely love it! It is hauntingly beautiful. I can definitely see why you won 2nd place in the contest- really an excellent piece of work.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Oh, this is so profound! I absolutely love it! It is hauntingly beautiful. I can definitely see why you won 2nd place in the contest- really an excellent piece of work.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Thank you, so much, SamanthaD. This is a most generous review and I am truly grateful :-) Brooke
Comment from kintesiegel
Congratulations again. This is a poem written from a new and different perspective. I enjoyed it alot. Life does and will go on (quite well in fact) without us.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2010
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Congratulations again. This is a poem written from a new and different perspective. I enjoyed it alot. Life does and will go on (quite well in fact) without us.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2010
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Thank you, my friend - this is a difficult form to write, so I'm glad you liked it! Brooke :-)
Comment from dragonpoet
Emotion packed 5 lines. The pictures shows perfectly the loneliness of the poem. No seeds in the ground or the soul to be sown.
I see no errors.
Congrats and keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Emotion packed 5 lines. The pictures shows perfectly the loneliness of the poem. No seeds in the ground or the soul to be sown.
I see no errors.
Congrats and keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Thank you, Dragonpoet - I really worked on putting this in good tanka form, which extends way beyond syllable count, so I am most pleased you appreciated it. Brooke :-)
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Your welcome. I have a hard time getting the deep feeling in my haikus and tankas.
Comment from bard owl
Thoughtful writing, Brooke. No wonder this tanka place so high in the contest. A barren field cannot bring hope and your poem says this with eloquence. Excellent, as usual. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Thoughtful writing, Brooke. No wonder this tanka place so high in the contest. A barren field cannot bring hope and your poem says this with eloquence. Excellent, as usual. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Thank you, Linda. I really worked on getting this tanka right - the pivot line is a killer part to do right. Brooke :-)
Comment from Laidy
you got second place! thats so good! this was a well written form you creatively put together. i liked reading and congrats.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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you got second place! thats so good! this was a well written form you creatively put together. i liked reading and congrats.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Thank you, Laidy - I really worked to make sure this was in good tanka form, so I'm pleased it did so well. I appreciate your kind comments :-) Brooke
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
I can definitely see why that was in the top few. Very nicely done Tanka. You did a perfect job with that 3rd pivot line, great message. Congrats on 2nd place with it.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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I can definitely see why that was in the top few. Very nicely done Tanka. You did a perfect job with that 3rd pivot line, great message. Congrats on 2nd place with it.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Thank you, Jo Lynn. I really worked to make sure there was a pivot line. Brooke :-)
Comment from mstad55
An eerie poem, with deep emotion that wrenches the heart. A barren field with no seed sown and lies dead and bare. Perhaps this was a battle field and within it's soil is the seed of war. It know's no season of flood or the scorch of the sun, it covers the body's of every mothers fallen son. I hope I'm wrong, and you had something else in mind, like the farmer moved to town or something. Mike
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2010
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An eerie poem, with deep emotion that wrenches the heart. A barren field with no seed sown and lies dead and bare. Perhaps this was a battle field and within it's soil is the seed of war. It know's no season of flood or the scorch of the sun, it covers the body's of every mothers fallen son. I hope I'm wrong, and you had something else in mind, like the farmer moved to town or something. Mike
Comment Written 01-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2010
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Thank you, Mike. I was not thinking of war when writing it, but I like the interpretation. I was thinking that a person who never even plants for fear of things like drought or flood, will never produce anything. Brooke
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Oh.
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I guess that's like saying if there's no wheat there's no whey.
Comment from jeslaf
I wanted to give you a six for this, but apparently I've already done so this week/month. Superb verse, haunting last line. Strong imagery, stronger metaphor. Contemplative indeed!
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2010
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I wanted to give you a six for this, but apparently I've already done so this week/month. Superb verse, haunting last line. Strong imagery, stronger metaphor. Contemplative indeed!
Comment Written 01-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2010
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Thank you, Jes. I am truly honored by your comments and generous impulses :-) Brooke
Comment from LauraKatherine
Wow, this is about so much more than literal barren fields and sowing seeds. It's about a life that has never grown; the narrator is apparently afraid of the "drought and flood" (the difficulties of life) and so avoids them by never sowing seeds that might be destroyed by them. But the self-protective stance backfires: the person's life never grows. No risk, no reward.
My favorite line: the growth of life never sown (It really caught my eye with its chilling and simple expression of the poem's theme. The deep meaning of the first four lines suddenly became clear. I actually shivered!)
Great reminder of the adverse effects of avoiding pain and wasting one's life.
LK
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2010
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Wow, this is about so much more than literal barren fields and sowing seeds. It's about a life that has never grown; the narrator is apparently afraid of the "drought and flood" (the difficulties of life) and so avoids them by never sowing seeds that might be destroyed by them. But the self-protective stance backfires: the person's life never grows. No risk, no reward.
My favorite line: the growth of life never sown (It really caught my eye with its chilling and simple expression of the poem's theme. The deep meaning of the first four lines suddenly became clear. I actually shivered!)
Great reminder of the adverse effects of avoiding pain and wasting one's life.
LK
Comment Written 01-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2010
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Laura, thank you for your most insightful look into the meaning of this poem. Brooke :-)
