Reviews from

Blind Trust

Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Donnie"
A woman is stalked by a fan

17 total reviews 
Comment from RenieReader
Excellent
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Almost makes you want to have DID, doesn't it? I don't know why I keep missing some of your chapters, and what's with the new wide-screen picture of you and Jeff? It's great learning more about the causes of DID and the effect it has on its victims.

One suggestion:
(omit==>Following) [T]rue to form, purple shadows threaded with vertical gold rays followed, heading for the horizon and a slow sizzle as they dipped into the sea.

Hugs,
Renie

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2010


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2010
    I'm smiling at you! DID? Man, that would be a cross to bear, huh? Except for giving away the bad stuff. That could be okay!

    Thanks for the great R&R!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment from jayesnb
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Man...Nathan seems like a great guy in this chapter...A far cry from the norman of just a few chapters ago... The scen was set well and I enjoyed the easygoing pace...The sex addict part came from nowhere a brought in a little life at the end there...great job

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2010


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2010
    It's a sad thing isn't it? He is a nice guy when he's in control. Glad you liked this one and thanks for the great comments.

    Gayle
Comment from EllieKaye
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I love the descriptions here. And yes, I have been hungry enough to salivate at packaged saltines. LOL

Well done. I am wondering what sort of role Donnie will play... interesitng.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2010


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2010
    Hi Laura,

    Donnie is giving Nathan a friend for the first time in his life. Hopefully, he can bring about a good ending to this problem. Thanks for the great comments,

    Gayle
Comment from Dave M
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Gayle,

This is an exceptional chapter, but the site won't let me give you a six-star review. It seems to me that the story is moving away from a potboiler adventure to a serious exploration of DID. That is just fine with me. I look forward to learning something new. Surely, Nathan realizes just how lucky he is.

I am intrigued with Nathan and his "nanny," Donnie, hitting it off well. My understanding is that the "public" personnas of those with DID are scarcely in touch with their lives and generally unable to develop close relationships. So this would be a good thing for Nathan, and it would strengthen Nathan against the likes of Norman. Tell me if I'm wrong.

I enjoyed this read and have a few observations and suggestions:

"One more turn on the twisty road and they were above the line. Sun." The last word seems not to fit.

Gayle, R. E. Lowell sounds a lot like poor Nathan Stanley.

"...but clearly this was far above what other hospital facilities ever offered," You should've seen the cramped little room I stayed in after my knee surgery.

"A door at the {bottom} of the room opened onto a bathroom and small, walk-in closet." The word, "bottom" makes it sound like the room has more than one level. I'd change this one.

"...as well as small seminars on DID and some of the attendant disorders closely aligned." I don't like the last four words. They seem redundant. You could leave it with "attendant disorders," or you could say "related disorders."

Dave

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2010


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2010
    You're spot on with Donnie. He's going to give Nathan someone to trust. The second half of this chapter explains it more fully! I agree, 'bottom' of the room doesn't work. Will fix!

    And, I'll take that virtual sixer, Dave. I so appreciate it!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment from Sasha
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This is a very well written chapter. I found a few nits but I'm sure you've already caught them. I continue to find Nathan an interesting character but must admit I also find the cushy atmosphere of his 'new' home emotionally awkward for me considering what he has been charged with and that not all criminals are afforded this type of option to jail. I am suspicious by nature and still don't totally trust Nathan, or his alters. But, of course, that only adds to the drama and intrigue of the story. Great job with this one.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2010


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
    Hey Sasha,

    Nathan landed in a good spot, for sure. Kinda like the Betty Ford Center. In this instance, it's so unusual that there's nothing 'real' about it. But there are some good ideas I'm hoping I can make fly.

    And no, of course it's not fair. But Pritchard believes he's a solid DID patient, and there are studies done like this for a variety of ills. I hope I can make it realistic enough to satisfy the reader.

    Thanks for the great comments!

    Gayle
Comment from c_lucas
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This is very well written showing an altenate life style for a mentally ill facility. Nathan is nothing more than a guinea pig for different methods of treatment.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2010


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
    Like the Betty Ford Center for addiction. There are a variety of places like that out here. Dr. Pritchard is trying for a breakthrough in a disorder and found a perfect patient in Nathan. I hope!

    Thanks again<
    Gayle
Comment from shelley kaye
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'light fleecy clouds interspersed with smog' LOL! yea that's l.a.!

great chapter transition!
a few things i noticed....

back seat <-- isn't backseat one word?

Lowell suffered all his life from bipolar disorder and what was then loosely termed multiple personality disorders <-- 'bipolar disorder' is singular so shouldn't 'disorders' at the end of the sentence be singular as well?

"Welcome, Mr. Stanly," <-- forgot the 'e'?

Six women and two men sat at their table, quiet, filling out the questionnaire before them. <-- sounds/looks weird with the two commas - suggestion: "Six women and two men sat at their table quietly,...." ?


other than that, great work!

thanx for sharing!

shelley :)

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2010


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
    Hey Shell,

    Hmmm, back seat...well, there's a backseat driver, but I think when you sit in the back seat it's separated. Trust me, I'll find out! Good idea there on the comma thingy. I was trying not to use 'quietly' but maybe...could happen!

    Thanks so much,

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment from FredCollingwood
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Another great post. I would Stan on Stanly's good side. Sounds like an interesting group of people. For a sex addict, Anne's not very good at it--she wants a life without sex?

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2010


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
    LOL! Well,I think she wants to be free of the compulsion more than sex per se, lol, who knows. I hope I can pull this off. I've been researching for hours and think I've got something believable to share! Thanks for the great R&R!

    Gayle
Comment from patmedium
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As usual, a wonderfully well illustrated chapter.
However, I find myself STILL not too impressed with this character... I can't erase the antipathy I have felt for him all the way through. Pat.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2010


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
    Hey Pat,

    Thanks for the great review and don't work too hard for Nathan; Norman's right beneath the surface!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
Comment from patmedium
Excellent
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As usual, a wonderfully well illustrated chapter.
However, I find myself STILL not too impressed with this character... I can't erase the antipathy I have felt for him all the way through. Pat.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2010


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
    Hey Pat,

    Thanks for the great review and don't work too hard for Nathan; Norman's right beneath the surface!

    Hugs,
    Gayle
reply by patmedium on 27-Jan-2010
    I WISH you'd keep quiet and stop dropping hints! LOL. Pat.