I Long to Float
a reflective retourne87 total reviews
Comment from LauraKatherine
You always make these complex poetic forms seem effortless, Brooke, as effortless as the silk balloon conveying you (and the reader) through the sky. Yet I know it can't be easy to get lines to flow so easily with such strict requirements.
I've never wanted to be in a hot air balloon, honestly; I'm a chicken about heights (get vertigo two inches off the floor!). Now you've made me long for a silk balloon of my own.
Found the images interesting. You've combined the sky images with ocean/water images (flood, troubled shores, sail these currents). It seems a natural fit and yet a stark contrast between what is earthly bound and what floats above it. Excellent. When I was little, I used to imagine that the sky was an ocean and the clouds were little islands and continents that I could sail to; it made me dizzy to think about! It's one reason why the poem resonates with me.
My favorite lines:
through star-strewn nights and sun-struck days
(This line sounds so vivid and crisp and starry and sunlit all at the same time.)
Beautiful.
Congrats on winning poem of the month...I'll have to go back and read it, if I haven't already. :) LK
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2010
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You always make these complex poetic forms seem effortless, Brooke, as effortless as the silk balloon conveying you (and the reader) through the sky. Yet I know it can't be easy to get lines to flow so easily with such strict requirements.
I've never wanted to be in a hot air balloon, honestly; I'm a chicken about heights (get vertigo two inches off the floor!). Now you've made me long for a silk balloon of my own.
Found the images interesting. You've combined the sky images with ocean/water images (flood, troubled shores, sail these currents). It seems a natural fit and yet a stark contrast between what is earthly bound and what floats above it. Excellent. When I was little, I used to imagine that the sky was an ocean and the clouds were little islands and continents that I could sail to; it made me dizzy to think about! It's one reason why the poem resonates with me.
My favorite lines:
through star-strewn nights and sun-struck days
(This line sounds so vivid and crisp and starry and sunlit all at the same time.)
Beautiful.
Congrats on winning poem of the month...I'll have to go back and read it, if I haven't already. :) LK
Comment Written 28-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2010
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I am thrilled by heights - now, don't try to put a worm in my hand, but they don't have worms in balloons. LOL Thank you so much for your attentive and thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from MJMuraco
Brooke, this poem is beautifully written. It gives such a sense of freedom and joy. The photo is perfect and every word flows nicely.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2010
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Brooke, this poem is beautifully written. It gives such a sense of freedom and joy. The photo is perfect and every word flows nicely.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2010
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Thank you, Mary Jayne - I so appreciate your kind comments :-) Brooke
Comment from jayesnb
You truly have awonderful way with words...They seem to flow so easily from one to another... I would love to float around too free of the cares that this world brings,,,great job.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2010
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You truly have awonderful way with words...They seem to flow so easily from one to another... I would love to float around too free of the cares that this world brings,,,great job.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2010
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Thank you, my friend - it sure is a nice wish, isn't it? :-) Brooke
Comment from m_plum
I like the style of this one, must be quite hard to write though. I enjoyed this alot, well done. I see and learn from so many of your works - how many do you produce each week? Are you writing as a career? I struggle to find time to produce more than one every now and then, and go through phases of not writing for months then I get this burning need inside to write again. :)
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I like the style of this one, must be quite hard to write though. I enjoyed this alot, well done. I see and learn from so many of your works - how many do you produce each week? Are you writing as a career? I struggle to find time to produce more than one every now and then, and go through phases of not writing for months then I get this burning need inside to write again. :)
Comment Written 27-Jan-2010
Comment from Nicnac
Well, I'd like to say I'd join you -- but I'm horribly afraid of heights! lol
This is charming. What a lofty, uplifting feeling. ;)
I especially liked your wording of this line:
for this I'd pay a princely fare <--your choice of the word 'princely' rather than 'pricey' is interesting and so full of imagination. It really stuck out. I likey!
Nic
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
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Well, I'd like to say I'd join you -- but I'm horribly afraid of heights! lol
This is charming. What a lofty, uplifting feeling. ;)
I especially liked your wording of this line:
for this I'd pay a princely fare <--your choice of the word 'princely' rather than 'pricey' is interesting and so full of imagination. It really stuck out. I likey!
Nic
Comment Written 27-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
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I'm afraid of worms - they're not much of a problem on balloons - I LOVE heights. Thanks so much, Nic :-) Brooke
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I ate a worm once. LOL
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OH, I so need to puke now!!!! That was such a mean thing to tell me :-) LOLOLOL
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LOL
It wasn't soooo mean -- after all, I didn't tell you the FULL truth. It was actually half of a worm. The other half was still in the apple.
Oh... I can be devious at times. I usually hide it quite well. haha
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Now every time I look at your pretty profile picture I'll be imagining a squirming worm hanging from your mouth - I bet you were quite a handful as a child when you're this wicked as a grown up!!! ;-)
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LOL
If I knew how, I'd photoshop that into the picture. haha
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I bet you would too!!! LOL
I dare you to ask Louise - she is always photoshopping pictures of Louis :-)
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LOL
You 'hooked me' on that one.
I'm all talk and no bite. ;)
Comment from jason456
Dear Margaret,
I'm with you; I would love to ride in this beautiful balloon. You have written this so well and so decriptively. Great job.
Patti :)
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
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Dear Margaret,
I'm with you; I would love to ride in this beautiful balloon. You have written this so well and so decriptively. Great job.
Patti :)
Comment Written 27-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
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Thanks so much, Patti. I always appreciate hearing from you :-) Brooke
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Thank you, my friend, and it was my pleasure. Patti :)
Comment from DeboraDyess
Oh, I think your'e a genius just to keep up with the poetic format on this one! But if you find such a flight ... book me, too! I think this is true flight of fancy. Blessings, Deb
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
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Oh, I think your'e a genius just to keep up with the poetic format on this one! But if you find such a flight ... book me, too! I think this is true flight of fancy. Blessings, Deb
Comment Written 27-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
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Thank you, Deb - this is just my second time using that form - it's fun :-) Brooke
Comment from Peeping_Soul
this is another gem from you.i especially loved the third and fourth stanzas which are outstanding in imagery of thought.great write from you
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
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this is another gem from you.i especially loved the third and fourth stanzas which are outstanding in imagery of thought.great write from you
Comment Written 27-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
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Thanks so much, Peeping Soul :-) Brooke
Comment from Colin Douglas
A lovely poem that flows and rhymes easily and without interruption. I've never been on a hot air balloon ride, but I've always wanted to. And now you've taken me on one--well, almost.
Colin
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
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A lovely poem that flows and rhymes easily and without interruption. I've never been on a hot air balloon ride, but I've always wanted to. And now you've taken me on one--well, almost.
Colin
Comment Written 27-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
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I've never been one one either - but it tops my wish list. Thanks so much, Colin. Brooke :-)
Comment from Fleedleflump
THE PASSENGER
I find my way into the grey
as dawn becomes my saving grace
while dust congeals upon my face
to hide the flesh that wants to play.
As dawn becomes my saving grace
I rock upon a gentle snooze
and ponder things best not to lose
that keep me firmly in my place.
While dust congeals upon my face
and sweat reflects day's striking light
I know I evanesce from sight
and thoughts become an empty space.
To hide the flesh that wants to play
I play the game that spells my doom,
my eulogy will live here soon:
a passenger sat here today.
Mike
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
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THE PASSENGER
I find my way into the grey
as dawn becomes my saving grace
while dust congeals upon my face
to hide the flesh that wants to play.
As dawn becomes my saving grace
I rock upon a gentle snooze
and ponder things best not to lose
that keep me firmly in my place.
While dust congeals upon my face
and sweat reflects day's striking light
I know I evanesce from sight
and thoughts become an empty space.
To hide the flesh that wants to play
I play the game that spells my doom,
my eulogy will live here soon:
a passenger sat here today.
Mike
Comment Written 27-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2010
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Your poetic responses are better than 90% of the poems I read on any given day!!! Thank you, Mike :-) Brooke
