Performance Problems- My Life! LOL
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Revelations"A halarious adventure with misery, but always joy!
6 total reviews
Comment from IndianaIrish
"Post Pubescent Female Amnesia."
That's pretty funny ... I like that one, Mike. Good chapter. I liked the suspense of finding out if she would be in any of your classes and then where you'd be seated.
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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"Post Pubescent Female Amnesia."
That's pretty funny ... I like that one, Mike. Good chapter. I liked the suspense of finding out if she would be in any of your classes and then where you'd be seated.
Indy :>)
Comment Written 23-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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If this chapter cracks you up, the next one will have you rolling. I didn't appreciate the suspense one bit. LOL Probably why I am bald today.
I am glad that you enjoyed it and thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from adewpearl
Jean, I love the fact that you're maturing - again, I think kids in your neighborhood just lived in a different time warp than kids in mine - no way in the world would a boy have uttered those words to a girl in my seventh grade. LOL
You express your feelings well throughout this story - I can always feel your longing for Jean. Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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Jean, I love the fact that you're maturing - again, I think kids in your neighborhood just lived in a different time warp than kids in mine - no way in the world would a boy have uttered those words to a girl in my seventh grade. LOL
You express your feelings well throughout this story - I can always feel your longing for Jean. Brooke :-)
Comment Written 23-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2010
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Thank you very much for reviewing this, that's the wonderful thing with this work, even when she isn't around she guides my thoughts. Hmmm, have to remember that one. I thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Also the time warp too. Mike
Comment from gypsyrose7112
Very nice coming of age story. It's such an awkward time for kids. I like the sencerity of your characters and the senerio that you are developing. I would only suggest that focus on one storyline at a time so that it doesn't get confusing. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
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Very nice coming of age story. It's such an awkward time for kids. I like the sencerity of your characters and the senerio that you are developing. I would only suggest that focus on one storyline at a time so that it doesn't get confusing. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
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Thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from chaswriter
Mike - Gawd, this little nitwit is annoying. LOL. Just kidding. There was this girl I was all goo-goo about in sixth grade, and I prayed a lot that we would be together. So I know how you feel. I moved just before seventh grade so that relationship went no further. You wrote this story such that I felt your angst with Jean. Well done
Some suggestions:
7th = seventh
I was smiling and pointed to where I wanted to be seated( )and then to where I wanted Jean to be seated(, )which was beside me on the last two desks by the door in the back of the room.
I knocked on her desk(, )and she instantly froze( )and appeared almost afraid to look up.
With both Marcia and Linda, we were childhood friends that spent a great deal of time together(, )until they started developing and older boys took stock in them. - semicolon doesn't work here
and I told her "Jean, I love the fact that you're maturing, but I am afraid that means that you won't like me anymore, or want to be around me.(") - a 7th grader would say this?
Mine was on the third floor(, )and I didn't have the time to try to find hers.
Jean became very sad and said, "No(, )Mike, it's not a good idea."
Charlie
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
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Mike - Gawd, this little nitwit is annoying. LOL. Just kidding. There was this girl I was all goo-goo about in sixth grade, and I prayed a lot that we would be together. So I know how you feel. I moved just before seventh grade so that relationship went no further. You wrote this story such that I felt your angst with Jean. Well done
Some suggestions:
7th = seventh
I was smiling and pointed to where I wanted to be seated( )and then to where I wanted Jean to be seated(, )which was beside me on the last two desks by the door in the back of the room.
I knocked on her desk(, )and she instantly froze( )and appeared almost afraid to look up.
With both Marcia and Linda, we were childhood friends that spent a great deal of time together(, )until they started developing and older boys took stock in them. - semicolon doesn't work here
and I told her "Jean, I love the fact that you're maturing, but I am afraid that means that you won't like me anymore, or want to be around me.(") - a 7th grader would say this?
Mine was on the third floor(, )and I didn't have the time to try to find hers.
Jean became very sad and said, "No(, )Mike, it's not a good idea."
Charlie
Comment Written 21-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
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Thank you very much for reading this, the corrections, compliments and this review. They have been made. Have a great weekend. Mike
Comment from wierdgrace
This is great, and starting your story with the students, the characters grew as you go into the more of the story, I was hooked reading smoothly from the start, your diologue was great, and hope to read more as it is posted.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
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This is great, and starting your story with the students, the characters grew as you go into the more of the story, I was hooked reading smoothly from the start, your diologue was great, and hope to read more as it is posted.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
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Thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
GRADE PERFORMANCE PRAYER PROBLEM - ALBA
POST PUBESCENT FEMALE AMNESIA!
I liked this phase of problem in this non-fiction.
It has excellent flow of thoughts, structured organisation of thoughts, logical arrangement of performance problem, thorough expressiveness, catchy and spontaneous introduction, right commitment to the points, points of view and view points, problems categorisation, problems stand and standing, problems cause and effect analytical observations, orderly sharing of experience in catches and ending with concluding remarks with quest and curiosity.
I enjoyed the endeavour, an easy said work from the page of diary.
It was a pleasant memoir read.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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GRADE PERFORMANCE PRAYER PROBLEM - ALBA
POST PUBESCENT FEMALE AMNESIA!
I liked this phase of problem in this non-fiction.
It has excellent flow of thoughts, structured organisation of thoughts, logical arrangement of performance problem, thorough expressiveness, catchy and spontaneous introduction, right commitment to the points, points of view and view points, problems categorisation, problems stand and standing, problems cause and effect analytical observations, orderly sharing of experience in catches and ending with concluding remarks with quest and curiosity.
I enjoyed the endeavour, an easy said work from the page of diary.
It was a pleasant memoir read.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
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Sort of transitory in fashion... I enjoyed this review and feel it is a good complimentary one for my walk to work. Thank you for the review and the compliments. Mike
