I Once Believed
two quatrains100 total reviews
Comment from --Turtle.
This poem made me a bit whispy, I enjoyed it, because it generated the feeling of love, and then loss (the song 15 by taylor swift entered my head. ) Love being fleeting... very strong image, and I think humanly universal.
the only thing I had to read twice was the last line, as at first I didn't get the use of but; then I did. I wondered 'paused then passed'
but I also, the second time round, understood it more as an exception to the pause, not a continuation, for why to use the but.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
  |
This poem made me a bit whispy, I enjoyed it, because it generated the feeling of love, and then loss (the song 15 by taylor swift entered my head. ) Love being fleeting... very strong image, and I think humanly universal.
the only thing I had to read twice was the last line, as at first I didn't get the use of but; then I did. I wondered 'paused then passed'
but I also, the second time round, understood it more as an exception to the pause, not a continuation, for why to use the but.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
-
I have seen her on television a couple of times but don't really know her music - but she is apparently quite the accomplished young lady :-) thank you for your great review :-) Brooke
Comment from jtull
As always, I enjoyed this peice very much. Your rhythm,rhyme, and flow work beautifully for me-I've come to expect nothing less from you! And the choice of art, interesting to say the least.Marshall
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
|
As always, I enjoyed this peice very much. Your rhythm,rhyme, and flow work beautifully for me-I've come to expect nothing less from you! And the choice of art, interesting to say the least.Marshall
Comment Written 21-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
-
Thanks so much, Marshall :-) Brooke
Comment from smileycloud
hey Brooke
good seaparating differences in the opposite viewpoint in each verse
the first is showing signs of wonderment of the young and niave and leading to what started to look like a dissilusionment of reality but I have taken poetic lisence and saw in the lines that the magic of love did not diossappear but matured
have a smiley day
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
|
hey Brooke
good seaparating differences in the opposite viewpoint in each verse
the first is showing signs of wonderment of the young and niave and leading to what started to look like a dissilusionment of reality but I have taken poetic lisence and saw in the lines that the magic of love did not diossappear but matured
have a smiley day
Comment Written 20-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2010
-
Lorraine, good morning and thank you :-) Brooke
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
We have all been there, my friend. Even as we age we have to learn our lessons though, we are never to old I guess. Hey I think in your first stanza line 3 would sound better not inverted.
I once believed in fairytales
and hope that flew on wings unseen.
So sure was I that love prevails, (I was so sure that love prevails)
but that was then when I was green(maybe comma after then)
Just some thoughts for your consideration.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2010
|
We have all been there, my friend. Even as we age we have to learn our lessons though, we are never to old I guess. Hey I think in your first stanza line 3 would sound better not inverted.
I once believed in fairytales
and hope that flew on wings unseen.
So sure was I that love prevails, (I was so sure that love prevails)
but that was then when I was green(maybe comma after then)
Just some thoughts for your consideration.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2010
-
I will think if over, Jo Lynn -thanks for your thoughtful input and kind review :-) Brooke
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
How did I miss this one? Simple and hauntingly beautiful, Brooke, it speaks volumes. I love the rhythm and rhyme scheme. also your use of 'green'. I thought it was only us Brits who used the phrase! LOL
I so love reading your poetry. Cheers me up every day.Hugs
Kat
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
|
How did I miss this one? Simple and hauntingly beautiful, Brooke, it speaks volumes. I love the rhythm and rhyme scheme. also your use of 'green'. I thought it was only us Brits who used the phrase! LOL
I so love reading your poetry. Cheers me up every day.Hugs
Kat
Comment Written 20-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
-
Thank you, Kat - I'm so pleased my poetry has that effect on you :-) Brooke
Comment from Lokman
Oh, that makes me sad to read this, but I know what you mean, although I'm not one to give up on fairytales, probably because in some way I am living in one.
Shea
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
|
Oh, that makes me sad to read this, but I know what you mean, although I'm not one to give up on fairytales, probably because in some way I am living in one.
Shea
Comment Written 20-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
-
Thank you, shea. I don't usually give up - I was really moody that day :-) Brooke
Comment from anabellapongasi
Ah...farewell to stupid love that only paused then passed you by. I was going to write a sad poem myself but I ended up reading too many sad ones today so I think I'll stop now and just cry...Beautiful poem.
Anabella
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2010
|
Ah...farewell to stupid love that only paused then passed you by. I was going to write a sad poem myself but I ended up reading too many sad ones today so I think I'll stop now and just cry...Beautiful poem.
Anabella
Comment Written 20-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2010
-
Thank you, Anabella - sometimes one just gets in a mood. :-) Brooke
Comment from c_lucas
A woman should let a man chase her until she catches him. This is very well written with very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2010
|
A woman should let a man chase her until she catches him. This is very well written with very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2010
-
thank you, Charlie - you do know how to make me laugh :-) Brooke
-
You're welcome, Brooke. Charlie
Comment from pugdogy
absolutely excellent job here!!!
I really enjoyed reading this piece of work,
that more than hope on wings can fly....
keep up the great writing.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
|
absolutely excellent job here!!!
I really enjoyed reading this piece of work,
that more than hope on wings can fly....
keep up the great writing.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
-
Thank you, pugdogy - I appreciate your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from elainec4
adewpearl,
Enjoyed this one. That last line is my favorite. Thinking of a love that "paused but passed me by" stirs memories and provokes thought. It is a unique and creative phrase. Thanks for sharing. elaine
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
|
adewpearl,
Enjoyed this one. That last line is my favorite. Thinking of a love that "paused but passed me by" stirs memories and provokes thought. It is a unique and creative phrase. Thanks for sharing. elaine
Comment Written 19-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2010
-
Thank you, Elaine. I really appreciate your kind review :-) Brooke
