The Weird Kid
A silly story with one syllable words70 total reviews
Comment from jayesnb
More than meets the eye....sounds like transformers...
The was a silly story... defifiitely...
You did a great job just using one syllible words...
good lick in the contest..
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
  |
More than meets the eye....sounds like transformers...
The was a silly story... defifiitely...
You did a great job just using one syllible words...
good lick in the contest..
Comment Written 10-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing this work.
Comment from Mrs Jones
can a fish swim in peace?" Did you mean can't. I loved this Nancy, especially the conversation at the pond. A silly story if ever I read one.
Good work
Cheers
Rose
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
|
can a fish swim in peace?" Did you mean can't. I loved this Nancy, especially the conversation at the pond. A silly story if ever I read one.
Good work
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 10-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
-
Thank you, Rose. Dear friend and supporter. I value your inputs.
Comment from Alison Williams
But this was excellent. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Well done on a difficult challenge.
His dad liked to drink and he left. His mom liked to rhyme: His genes were a wild mix of gin and rhyme. - This is wonderful, I love this line.
"Beth had a jolt. Bell Joy was her. No one would think that she, with the tray full of tea cups could write just one verse." - I like this line.
The only thing I would suggest is that you separate the animals' dialogues into separate lines to clarify that. Put it down to me having a Four year old and a eight year old, but I caught what could have been a reference to the little choo choo train, who puffs up the hill chanting, I think I can, I think I can... lol!
This is very well done.
Congrats.
Alison
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
|
But this was excellent. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Well done on a difficult challenge.
His dad liked to drink and he left. His mom liked to rhyme: His genes were a wild mix of gin and rhyme. - This is wonderful, I love this line.
"Beth had a jolt. Bell Joy was her. No one would think that she, with the tray full of tea cups could write just one verse." - I like this line.
The only thing I would suggest is that you separate the animals' dialogues into separate lines to clarify that. Put it down to me having a Four year old and a eight year old, but I caught what could have been a reference to the little choo choo train, who puffs up the hill chanting, I think I can, I think I can... lol!
This is very well done.
Congrats.
Alison
Comment Written 10-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
-
Thank you Allison. I separated the animal's dialogues. Each one of them. I hope it helps.
"I think I can" is one of my fave lines. Lovely reminder of the choo choo train story I used to read to my kids.
Comment from Bryana
Well my friend, you have certainly written a silly story. It was very amusing.
Your description of the boy made me laugh.
Have a silly Sunday, I mean a wonderful Sunday.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
|
Well my friend, you have certainly written a silly story. It was very amusing.
Your description of the boy made me laugh.
Have a silly Sunday, I mean a wonderful Sunday.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
-
Hi Bryana, thank you for commenting, trying to act silly and see where could lead me. Happy Sunday1
Comment from Sneakers
A jolly good read; to be able to write a story of such length using only one syllable words is a sign of true skill and proise. The storyline is akward and somewhat bizzare along with the characters, which is just fine. Kudos to you.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
|
A jolly good read; to be able to write a story of such length using only one syllable words is a sign of true skill and proise. The storyline is akward and somewhat bizzare along with the characters, which is just fine. Kudos to you.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
-
Thank you Sneakers for commenting in this story.
Comment from missy98writer
amanda,
You did a great job on the silly story contest titled "The Weird Kid." You met the challenge. I love your play on words in your story. The descriptive scheme and use of the vocabulary is done in a clever way. I loved your description in this paragraph:
Have you read "Pray, Eat, Love?" asked a red hair dame.
"Not yet." The blond one said. "My golf tour is near."
"I like deep works," the one with the white hair said, as she picked a crumb of a sweet tart. " Like John Keats' odes. They touch my heart."
The girl with the red hair said with a sigh. "I read some free verse from Bell Joy. I wish I could meet her."
Beth had a jolt. Bell Joy was her. No one would think that she, with the tray full of tea cups could write just one verse.
Your silly story entertained me and is a five star story. Great use of one syllable words.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
|
amanda,
You did a great job on the silly story contest titled "The Weird Kid." You met the challenge. I love your play on words in your story. The descriptive scheme and use of the vocabulary is done in a clever way. I loved your description in this paragraph:
Have you read "Pray, Eat, Love?" asked a red hair dame.
"Not yet." The blond one said. "My golf tour is near."
"I like deep works," the one with the white hair said, as she picked a crumb of a sweet tart. " Like John Keats' odes. They touch my heart."
The girl with the red hair said with a sigh. "I read some free verse from Bell Joy. I wish I could meet her."
Beth had a jolt. Bell Joy was her. No one would think that she, with the tray full of tea cups could write just one verse.
Your silly story entertained me and is a five star story. Great use of one syllable words.
Melissa.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
-
I so appreciate your approving comments. I was very nervious about this. I'm glad I gave it a try.
Comment from rhymer1
I swore I was going to speed read this and not be distracted looking for words of more than on ssyllable but I noticed one anyway. The vignette is entertaining.
didn't - change to 'did not'
Slainte, rhyhmer1
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
|
I swore I was going to speed read this and not be distracted looking for words of more than on ssyllable but I noticed one anyway. The vignette is entertaining.
didn't - change to 'did not'
Slainte, rhyhmer1
Comment Written 10-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
-
Thank you for reading and looking so well. I corrected it!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
RALPH LIVING CHRONOLOGY!
I liked this tough and challenging entry for a gauntlet contest - Silly Story in one syllable words.
I enjoyed this sound characterised character studded fantasy fiction that flows well the fantastic experiences in wonder.
I found the dialogues were live and contributory to the growth of the storyline.
It was a pleasant wonderful read.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
|
RALPH LIVING CHRONOLOGY!
I liked this tough and challenging entry for a gauntlet contest - Silly Story in one syllable words.
I enjoyed this sound characterised character studded fantasy fiction that flows well the fantastic experiences in wonder.
I found the dialogues were live and contributory to the growth of the storyline.
It was a pleasant wonderful read.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
-
Thank you dear reader. I was so nervious of this. Scared also. I don't write much fiction. Your comments are enlightening.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
you did a good job with the contest, and using one syllable words to do it was inspired. i know it had to be hard to do that. i wish you luck in the contest entry
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
|
you did a good job with the contest, and using one syllable words to do it was inspired. i know it had to be hard to do that. i wish you luck in the contest entry
Comment Written 10-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
-
Thank you for reviewing this tale. It was difficult but you like it. That's the important.
Comment from wierdgrace
this is so silly and wonderful, I loved it, I read from the start to the end, no errors, and fun, and the characters are great and this goes well with the diologue, thank you for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
|
this is so silly and wonderful, I loved it, I read from the start to the end, no errors, and fun, and the characters are great and this goes well with the diologue, thank you for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
-
Thank you wierdgrace for reading and commenting in this tale.
