The Weird Kid
A silly story with one syllable words70 total reviews
Comment from Wild Flower
I'm betting this was more difficult than it looks. Its very creative and original and it must have been fun to put together. Nice job on it.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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I'm betting this was more difficult than it looks. Its very creative and original and it must have been fun to put together. Nice job on it.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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Thank you for reading and reviewing this work.
Comment from wheelswrites
This was fun, I'm sure. You accomplished a story in only one syllables words and I'm in awe at the fact it is even a fine story. At least it succeeded and I hope you win.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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This was fun, I'm sure. You accomplished a story in only one syllables words and I'm in awe at the fact it is even a fine story. At least it succeeded and I hope you win.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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Thank you for taking the time to read this silly story.
Comment from Dustman6180
Wow! I can see why this work has a Recognized Ribbon. It is very well done. It is very hard to write a story using only one-syllable words. Heck, it's hard to write a review like that. Good Job.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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Wow! I can see why this work has a Recognized Ribbon. It is very well done. It is very hard to write a story using only one-syllable words. Heck, it's hard to write a review like that. Good Job.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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Thank you for reading and commenting this work.
Comment from Writeaway...
amada this is a humourous story and definately silly, excellent job, I found no spags whatsoever and was kept interested from the beginning, excellent job, I wish you well in the competition, keep writing!!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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amada this is a humourous story and definately silly, excellent job, I found no spags whatsoever and was kept interested from the beginning, excellent job, I wish you well in the competition, keep writing!!
Comment Written 11-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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Thank you for reading and commenting in this story. Best to your writing as well.
Comment from thorney
Hi there amanda. Yep! This is good. A simple little tale of Ralph, his imagination and his friends.
Just a couple of things for you to look at. If you edit, I will gladly up-grade.
His eyes were sunk and wet most of the time. - passive, just remove the word 'were'
She worked at the main tea shop and ... - teashop
"() Like John Keats' odes. - need to remove a space.
Beth had a jolt. Bell Joy was her! No one would think that she, with the tray full of tea cups could write just one verse. - a little arkward.
Try:
Beth had a jolt. she was Bell Joy! No one would think she, with the tray full of teacups, could write just one verse.
Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
Regards, Pete.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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Hi there amanda. Yep! This is good. A simple little tale of Ralph, his imagination and his friends.
Just a couple of things for you to look at. If you edit, I will gladly up-grade.
His eyes were sunk and wet most of the time. - passive, just remove the word 'were'
She worked at the main tea shop and ... - teashop
"() Like John Keats' odes. - need to remove a space.
Beth had a jolt. Bell Joy was her! No one would think that she, with the tray full of tea cups could write just one verse. - a little arkward.
Try:
Beth had a jolt. she was Bell Joy! No one would think she, with the tray full of teacups, could write just one verse.
Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
Regards, Pete.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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Thank you Peter for checking my work. I corrected those nasty details. Except for teacups, (2 syllables). I wrote some of the sentences with tea place, cups. I Hope this is OK.
Comment from Chalice
This is a quirky bit of creative fiction. nice metaphors, descriptions are clever and colorful, the sequence has a neat ear friendly cadence to it as it follows the linear path.
A good effort methinks.
Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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This is a quirky bit of creative fiction. nice metaphors, descriptions are clever and colorful, the sequence has a neat ear friendly cadence to it as it follows the linear path.
A good effort methinks.
Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 11-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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Thank you, Chalice.
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A pleasure:)
Comment from fionageorge
Well, this silly story, truly is a silly story, with a silly story line, and silly characters, and animals and ponds that talk. How silly - how good!
Well written and fun to read.
The first line, is that correct or should it read:
What you would [would you, instead of you would] say if I make up a tale with just
Good luck in the contest, and warmest regards
Marijke
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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Well, this silly story, truly is a silly story, with a silly story line, and silly characters, and animals and ponds that talk. How silly - how good!
Well written and fun to read.
The first line, is that correct or should it read:
What you would [would you, instead of you would] say if I make up a tale with just
Good luck in the contest, and warmest regards
Marijke
Comment Written 11-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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Thank you Marijke for taking the time to read and review this work.
Comment from ZeBestBlonde1
amada,
hello again to you. Ha! I really liked your one word syllable story. It is cute, has a light air to it and you told it well.
I did find words that were 2 syllables, but still...to write one this way does take imagination and creativity and you did a GREAT job.
I also thought you chose a fun title as well.
Great contest entry!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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amada,
hello again to you. Ha! I really liked your one word syllable story. It is cute, has a light air to it and you told it well.
I did find words that were 2 syllables, but still...to write one this way does take imagination and creativity and you did a GREAT job.
I also thought you chose a fun title as well.
Great contest entry!
Comment Written 11-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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I was trying to write fun in another medium I don't usually do. Scared of dialog! But I am trying to travel some varied paths this year. It's great to have you as a supporter of my work. Me too, I'm happy to meet you and have crossed paths.
Comment from Kaladore
It's a very good story for using one syllable words in such. It has a sorta... poetic feel to it, the wording and flow of words just seems to fit poetry. What I don't understand is why you have "two stories" in this one piece. I think just one would be useful but that's just my opinion. Still a good silly, one syllable story
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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It's a very good story for using one syllable words in such. It has a sorta... poetic feel to it, the wording and flow of words just seems to fit poetry. What I don't understand is why you have "two stories" in this one piece. I think just one would be useful but that's just my opinion. Still a good silly, one syllable story
Comment Written 11-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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Thank you for the comments. Frankly, I run out of inspiration for Ralph. Sad. I love this kid, originally he had a sis, dad and mom but were passive to the story.
Comment from Charlene0513
To amanda,
A contest entry depicting a young boy named Ralph.
He loved to visit his friends at the fish pond like the frog, the swan, bees the flowers even the ants just to play and get away from the pathetic ways of his parents.
But his adventure with those that enjoyed the reading of certain well known people soon helped Ralph forget and go back to his mom and dad.
Charlene
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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To amanda,
A contest entry depicting a young boy named Ralph.
He loved to visit his friends at the fish pond like the frog, the swan, bees the flowers even the ants just to play and get away from the pathetic ways of his parents.
But his adventure with those that enjoyed the reading of certain well known people soon helped Ralph forget and go back to his mom and dad.
Charlene
Comment Written 11-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2010
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Thank you Charlene for reading and commenting in this silly work.
