Comment from fictionwriter

Excellent

Well that's one fella that I think should have been gotten rid of long ago. I hate the men that get their jollies by sleeping with as many as possible. Great job.

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

Obituary pages sang him praise - that is the one catch in this as a contest entry - you're talking ABOUT his obituaries and telling a really funny story of his death and showing what kind of unsavory character he was, but you're not writing something that would be published in a paper as his obituary, even a rhyming one. So, on its own merits, you have an extremely funny quatrain poem with good flow and strong rhymes, but as a contest obituary, it doesn't really fly. I'm rating this on its own merits, outside of the contest :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010

Thank you, Brooke. Good catch - I changed that line to "newspaper busy columns sang him praise". It is a funny poetic obituary, done in my own style. After all, not only does it tell a life, but everyone is singing him praises. I appreciate the feedback, hugs, Y.

Comment from MissMerri

Excellent

This is quite a tale, and very funny too. The excellent meter and rhyme make it flow smoothly and easily and it is all very interesting. Well done.

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

Comment from CALLAHANMR

Excellent

Hi Yeltel:)
What a delightful romp through life, this hilarious poem describes.Great rhythm, rhyme and flow as you tell his jolly tale.

I found one grammatical error: But really, what's afoot? Police [was ==> were] called...

Good luck in the contest.

Roger

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

Comment from Begin Again

Excellent

Yeltel

Your poem was filled with line after line of humor and was cleverly done. I enjoyed it very much.

Except...the contest called for an obituary like those you read in the newspaper.

Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

Comment from BJean

Excellent

sounds like he truly wore himself out:) I got a laugh out of this though I'm sure his antics to so many were truly not funny. Good entry with nice flow in iambic pentameter and lovely rhyme.

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

Comment from mbroyles2

Excellent

A unique contest entry.
I love the poetry.
The rhyming structure was great.
The words were clear and crisp.
The flow easy to follow.
Thanks for sharing.
Michael

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

Comment from Ann Smith

Excellent

Hysterical. I love the story presented in poetry form. The imagery moves the poem along and causes the reader to want to know more. I love the picture because the style of the poem fits that era nicely. The twists and turns were clever and as a reader, just from the title I would not have guessed the plot. I liked the stanza breaks and the rhyme. Especially liked the last stanza and the idea of his ghost and prowess legend coast to coast. Cool.

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

Comment from Poetry Beginnings

Excellent

I am rolling in laughter so hilarious! Very good story, I guess I will have to re-read it from time to time to just laugh again. Nice picture!

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010

Thank you so much, Sveta! I had a chuckle or two when I wrote this. I know, you are new and probably don't know this, but you can bookmark it (or any other work) if you want to go back and re-read it later. Click on any poem, to the right you'll see a drop box. Click "Bookmark this" and it will save it to your bookcase; so anytime you want to read something again without searching the writer's portfolio, it's right at your fingertips. This was a fun contest for sure!

Comment from ZigzagMLT

Excellent

Bravo! Z

A delightful poem... just a couple of lines that I could not quite figure out...

have sung him praise?


She made IS special?


Thanks! Good luck in the contest!
Zigzagmlt

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010

Thank you, Ziazagmlt; I made the edits, appreciate you stopping bye. See you later! Hugs, Y.