Comment from Jean Lutz

Excellent

A new take on keeping someone at arm's length -- well in this case all the way across the street. I look forward to seeing these two grow up and what is next to come.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2010

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2010

It still seems like you enjoy this very much. I thank you for your compliments and this review. Mike

Comment from Judian James

Excellent

I want to follow this Mike and this is the next chapter afterall, but I found it uncomfortable and confusing. I most definitely would have acted exactly like Jean as you were coming across like a stalker and a little scary as well. However, with that being said, the ending completely baffled me. I have no idea what she's was about with that little statement except to keep you in your place and show you who has the power, which also made me uncomfortable. sorry.

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2010

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010

That is a FanStory problem with the way that one has to post. I think you skipped the chapter before and I could only suggest that you book mark this, so that chapters can be kept of. I am basically presenting things as they happened and the stuggle to put feelings that are much bigger then their age, which actually acts to keep them apart and from getting together doing things that kids do. Mainly out of fear of the ultimate, yet that proves an inspiration.

I'll be honest, if you live by definitions of assults, this one isn't for you. Much later, you will find out that she wasn't the one with three cracked ribs, yet it was an act of love that created them and the understanding of this from me. Jean is the most shiest, loveable woman that I have ever ran across and I feel that it is a story that should be preserved. Perhaps the gift at loosing the memories, as when the came back, they made me reexperience them happening as a child and the struggle to put it into perspective, yet to reflect on it as an adult. There are many twists, turns and fate in this one Jude. You can't look at this solely from an adult perspective. I think that the reason that teen relationships get so screwed up and pervade thoughout their adult life is that there aren't people who can't see and remember things through an innocent child's perspective and guide people. That was the way it was in the fifties and regret that things got lost. We sort of threw the baby out with the bathwater and we are no better for it at all.

I really can't pay what I wish that I could for the reviews, but if it gets too uncomfortable and you can't see any humor in this, I would drop reading this work, which I wouldn't think, none the less of you.

I do appreciate you opinion and thank you for it. Mike

reply by Judian James on 10-Jan-2010

Oh, I understand you're documenting the happenings between you and Jean as very young kids at this point. I was just honestly commenting on how I felt about the conundrum of it all as you're retelling it.
I certainly did not mean to offend, but merely shed a bit of light on how I'm interpretting this as a reader.

reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010

I know and that is appreciated and in fact generates a laugh. Imagine how confusing to me it was at the time. Those struggles only get more intense. It only took me twenty five years to figure out how to write this all up. Jude, this one is hard and a bit scarey for me to get this out. Hey! Have a great week ahead! Mike

Comment from HalfHoff

Excellent

You remind me of Forrest, Forrest Gump in so many of your tales! THAT is a compliment, by the way! Your last line really gave me a huge grin. THis is great Mike! Lea Ann

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010

That's the hardest part about deciding to put this out there, I had to accept that aspect about myself. There is a lot more of that to come, even with the worst of times, there was that quality about me. Perhaps God does give one what they need to survive. I sure felt that way in nature as well. LOL

You made me just think about that movie in a different light, that to is a about a sort of innocent and steadfast love, also maintaining an almost childlike ideal.

I love this review and thank you for it, it is the best compliment of em all.

Have a great week ahead! Mike

Comment from IndianaIrish

Excellent

WOW ... you two sure had unique ways to show love. LOL I like when you describe her smiles ... it shows how she moved you and that she really did care for you. One thing to note--lots of "that" throughout the story. It's one of those words that in most sentences can be deleted as not needed. If you read the sentence and it makes sense without it, then delete as unnecessary.
Indy :>)

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010

I will watch my thats' better. I thank you very much for your compliments and this review. Mike

I guess that is how the situation presented itself.

Comment from Writeaway...

Good

Another great piece of writing, I found no spags whatsoever and was kept interested from the beginning, you certainly left me wondering what's going to happen next, excellent job, keep writing!!

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010

I will, I am done my posts for the day and thank you for your review, compliments and enthusiasm. Mike

Comment from nora arjuna

Excellent

mike, you're obviously so affected by this scene. i remember you mentioning it often, and now decided to write from the beginning.

to start walking back [to] home[,] by way of Harford Road.
-suggest delete

It wasn't till I got to the house [where the lady was gardening out front the day before. She wasn't there today,] but I picked up my pace and started walking up to Jean. - a bit awkward. i think those words in brackets are not important. maybe use other descriprion?

It wasn't till I got to the house where I had seen a lady gardening out front the day before did I pick up my pace and started walking up to Jean.

This totally infuriated me and [I] fired back

I dragged my feet as I was [thinking], "Oh god!

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010

Thank you very much for reviewing this. I made all of the changes, but the second one. In that case, I thought it was best to change the line after that. It's a bit problematic here as one being limited in posting, to give a concret perception of continuity. I am trying to provided a certain depth of travel in this and I was actually hoping to catch the lady out to prove that I wasn't a pet, though I knew not how. In the previous chapter, that was the second to last event that totally humiliated me.

I thank you very much for reviewing this, taking the time out to pick out corrections and the compliments. It makes my day! Harry... I mean Mike LOL Have a great weekend!

Comment from mbroyles2

Excellent

I like this story so far.
Great character development.
The dialogue is a little choppy, but overly so.
The pace of the story is good and easy to follow.
Hmm.. Punching a girl means you love her.
I'll have to remember that. lol
great job so far.
Michael

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010

That's my questioning thought exactly. Before warned, assults are strewn though out this book and hopefully one will still find the love amonst them. Her gentle nudge, cracks three of my ribs. She how I humorously deal with her for spitting in my face. If you felt the dialog was choppy, you should have seen the thoughts in trying to figure her out. I thank you very much for your compliments and this review.

Comment from BJean

Excellent

You were certainly taken by her!!! This is a humorous account of what love will make you do. It is nicely written and brought a smile to me. Good job. Love, Jean

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010

Oh, it will get much worse and a lot more humorous... That means, more frustrating for me.

I thank you very much for this review and as well, the compliments.