Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

HUMMM very puzzling. It will be interesting to find out what happened to this past three days and why. I am looking forward to your next post.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010

Hi Barbara,

This dude is about to wig out, I think. As I said earlier, now that I've finally got all the players on the table we can get down to it!

Thanks for the great review!

Gayle

Comment from unbridledspirit

Excellent

Great story....well written. This story kept my interest from beginning to end. I'm sitting here wondering where "she (character in the story) is and why she's late". That's really a sign of a good story when it keeps the reader wondering. From one horse person to another...great job.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010

Oh, another horse person! HELLO! Well, after I thank you for this review, I'm going to your port and see all about you. There's lots of us horsie types on FS, so you're not alone.

Thanks for the great review and comments,

Gayle

Comment from ZigzagMLT

Good

Good. Finally we get to find out more about this character. The fact that he does not remember stuff makes him vulnerable, and we want to know more, we want to find a way to understand him, to forgive him.

Some notes: what had filled his missing hours?

he had attended her most recent showing at the Beverly Hills

had sat in a quiet corner

Nathan had been in San Francisco on a four-day shoot

Thanks, as always.

Zigzagmlt

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 Comment Written 08-Jan-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010

Hi Zig,

Thanks for stopping by for an R&R. I'm not sure what you meant in your notes. Can you explain a bit more?

Thanks
Gayle

reply by ZigzagMLT on 09-Jan-2010

If you look for those sentences within your text (perhaps control F to search Word), you'll find that I have simply corrected some grammatical stuff. It goes logically down the page. Does this make more sense? Z

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

I found this chapter particularly mezmerizing. As a child I experienced gaps in time. I think you describing Nathan's fear, anxiety, confusion, and frustration waking up in a strange place and having no memory of where he was or how to get home. There is definitely something wrong with him, the headaches, obsessive behavior, and solitary lifestyle all indicate a person with deep psychological problems. Very, very well written. You kept me riveted to my chair from beginning to end with this one. I was so wrapped up in reading I really didn't notice any spags.

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 Comment Written 08-Jan-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010

Hi Sasha,

Having to deal with something like that must be hell on earth. I seem to be getting what I'm hoping for here ... folks feel compassion for Nathan while fearing Norman. That's what I want.

Your comments are so important to me, hearing you getting involved in my story, well, what more does an author want!

Thanks so much,
Gayle