Performance Problems- My Life! LOL
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Summer Of Prayer, Fear Of Mom"A halarious adventure with misery, but always joy!
8 total reviews
Comment from Jean Lutz
One of my grandsons has made re-contact with a girl he went to fifth grade with. They are now 17 -- a few years can make a lot of difference.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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One of my grandsons has made re-contact with a girl he went to fifth grade with. They are now 17 -- a few years can make a lot of difference.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2010
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In many sucessful relationships have rediscoveries. I thank you very much for reviewing and comment on this. Mike
Comment from IndianaIrish
Ah, so the girl finally has the sense to smile at her admirer...and ended up with a conked head. LOL I like your chapter, Mike. The prayers, the thoughts of Jean, and getting the pictures at the photomart. Nicely done.
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Ah, so the girl finally has the sense to smile at her admirer...and ended up with a conked head. LOL I like your chapter, Mike. The prayers, the thoughts of Jean, and getting the pictures at the photomart. Nicely done.
Indy :>)
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Oh it gets worse from here after she gets a kick out of me. I thank you very much for enjoying the humor, the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from Granny Gluk
How great he finally got to get her photograph. Great continuance to the last chapter. I immediately knew what story I was reading with in the first two sentences. Considering how many I read a day it is a great compliment to your writing.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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How great he finally got to get her photograph. Great continuance to the last chapter. I immediately knew what story I was reading with in the first two sentences. Considering how many I read a day it is a great compliment to your writing.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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That is the surprise for me as well, as I usually get lower reviews, what an honor for me. I thank you for your reading, the compliments and this review. Mike
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You deserved that ranking. I hope you will have the time to check out latest post "The Diary of June Beaudine". It is about a woman living on the streets of The Bronx and how she ended up there.
Comment from Judian James
"Jean was now on my mind nonstop, as I tried to figure my feelings out. It seemed that somehow, I knew her, but couldn't recollect any memory of her other than that feeling. That feeling was both intriguing and disconcerting" How charming is that???? My favorite chapter so far Mike. Well done and sooooooo sweet.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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"Jean was now on my mind nonstop, as I tried to figure my feelings out. It seemed that somehow, I knew her, but couldn't recollect any memory of her other than that feeling. That feeling was both intriguing and disconcerting" How charming is that???? My favorite chapter so far Mike. Well done and sooooooo sweet.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Well, it does get more sweet, but the humor with our situation, increases even more. To me, this review indicates that the attention is focused on the person intended, which is what I want. While it's not all about Jean, she always seems to be in the background. Thank you so much for the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from Miranda Rider
Nicely written, Mike. I was drawn into the past with your character and felt what it was like to be back in sixth grade. A first crush is something that will always be remembered and you show it through the boy's eyes wonderfully.
SPAGs
UNTIL instead of TO: After the field trip, there wasn't much time left to the end of school
Replace comma with period: Mr. Hudson did a wonderful job,
I do believe classroom is one word.
Remove comma: To my utter, enjoyment
Replace THE with ONE: She was greeted with the of the most
Great job. I look forward to more of your writing. Thank you for sharing it!
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Nicely written, Mike. I was drawn into the past with your character and felt what it was like to be back in sixth grade. A first crush is something that will always be remembered and you show it through the boy's eyes wonderfully.
SPAGs
UNTIL instead of TO: After the field trip, there wasn't much time left to the end of school
Replace comma with period: Mr. Hudson did a wonderful job,
I do believe classroom is one word.
Remove comma: To my utter, enjoyment
Replace THE with ONE: She was greeted with the of the most
Great job. I look forward to more of your writing. Thank you for sharing it!
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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You're a toughie! But the suggested corrections are not only valid, they are appreciated and I made all of them. I thank you very much for the corrections, the compliments and this review, also making it easy to find them too.
With my writing experiece and twenty six of printing, I have come to the conclusion that one can not proof read their own work. Don't get me wrong, I an happy that I am not making too many of them. To think of being a professional writer and relying on only one editor, would be a down grade for me. I love the fact that here, people look at material every which way. Talk about a bummer, we are printing a job of products, we had to pull a job off because an illustration/seperation had headrests mispelled as deadrests. Ironically the pressman was bored and read it. The further down the line a mistake is caught, the more expensive it is. That one made it through many. Have a great weekend! Mike
Comment from nora arjuna
Mom told me that she'll take the film
hi mike. so still with the story of jean. she must have been your first childhood crush then. i thought this was sweet.
some notes:
Not knowing [about] how to process film - consider delete
Mr. Hudson did a wonderful job[.] He put the [guys] - how about 'boys' instead?
She was greeted with [one] of the most wonderful of sights
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Mom told me that she'll take the film
hi mike. so still with the story of jean. she must have been your first childhood crush then. i thought this was sweet.
some notes:
Not knowing [about] how to process film - consider delete
Mr. Hudson did a wonderful job[.] He put the [guys] - how about 'boys' instead?
She was greeted with [one] of the most wonderful of sights
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Thank you very much for pointing out the corrections, they are made. I wasn't going to replace guys, as I want to keep that feel as only the adults referred to us as that, but in this case, you are right. Thank you very much for your compliments and this reivew. MIke
Oh, I will start reading and reviewing what I bookcased this weekend. Tonight I am trying my hand and going up on stage for a combination of poetry/standup comedy. I am doing, "Poetry Isn't Dead... Just The Poet Is... Or should be!"
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
EXPERIENCE UPON PASSION FORTIFICATION MANLY EFFECT!
I find this essay or non-fiction an interesting and pleasant read. I liked it for its master crafting, though the introduction was not seemed so catchy, interesting or introductory or thematic but it was appealing to the though development, while the concluding part has a resolution of appeal with an experience, however the work endeavour has flown well, concisely dealt in, sharing of experience as truth.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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EXPERIENCE UPON PASSION FORTIFICATION MANLY EFFECT!
I find this essay or non-fiction an interesting and pleasant read. I liked it for its master crafting, though the introduction was not seemed so catchy, interesting or introductory or thematic but it was appealing to the though development, while the concluding part has a resolution of appeal with an experience, however the work endeavour has flown well, concisely dealt in, sharing of experience as truth.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Disagree with the caps, they could have been saved for a few chapters down the line. LOL The next two chapters are quiet a humorous blast. I thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from jayesnb
this is the first chapter of this story i have read so am not sure whats going on...but i liked the flow of this and the way you expressed youurelf....Loved the prayer exception part... when i have a chance i will catch up on the other chapters,,, I spotted no mistakes good job.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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this is the first chapter of this story i have read so am not sure whats going on...but i liked the flow of this and the way you expressed youurelf....Loved the prayer exception part... when i have a chance i will catch up on the other chapters,,, I spotted no mistakes good job.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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That sounds good, as all chapters are on the posting and review points and cents can be earned. I thank you very much for this review and the compliments. Mike
