The Voracious One
When it's time . . . it's time.80 total reviews
Comment from Lois Delaney
Yeah, we all get to that point where we seem to get absolutely nowhere, and still the time flies by. I thought you were brilliant to come up with this. These days, I can't write much of anything too well. It could be is that I forgot I was a writer for several months, and then it came to me. lol
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Yeah, we all get to that point where we seem to get absolutely nowhere, and still the time flies by. I thought you were brilliant to come up with this. These days, I can't write much of anything too well. It could be is that I forgot I was a writer for several months, and then it came to me. lol
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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You'll get it back, Lois. I see some of your work in my mailbox now which I will get to either tonite or tomorrow sure...Bob
Comment from lola29
Bob, this is very good. I didn't see that coming. There is just something about those 'Italan' subs. I would never ever share.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Bob, this is very good. I didn't see that coming. There is just something about those 'Italan' subs. I would never ever share.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Thanks so much, Lola...Bob
Comment from Changeisgood
Bob, You had me fooled. When you said "box-glove" I thought he was in the ring. I read the author's notes and I guess that'll learn you to be so friendly and tell all.
Really good work. Good luck on this contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Bob, You had me fooled. When you said "box-glove" I thought he was in the ring. I read the author's notes and I guess that'll learn you to be so friendly and tell all.
Really good work. Good luck on this contest.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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No, No....I said "glove-box"...right? LOL..Thanks for the review though...Bob
Comment from Econ Teacher
I don't know if the picture is right for the story. In some ways I think it detracts because he looks more like a victim than an attacker. Yeah, I would step away from him if I saw him on the steer, but someone got to him with that shiner on his eye. Plus, the black eye is what I focused on and I wanted to know why he had it, so I was i became a little disappointed when it wasn't addressed.
One minor edit, there is a run-on sentence about the knife. There should be a period after ... I just refreshed my screen. Never mind you already fixed it.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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I don't know if the picture is right for the story. In some ways I think it detracts because he looks more like a victim than an attacker. Yeah, I would step away from him if I saw him on the steer, but someone got to him with that shiner on his eye. Plus, the black eye is what I focused on and I wanted to know why he had it, so I was i became a little disappointed when it wasn't addressed.
One minor edit, there is a run-on sentence about the knife. There should be a period after ... I just refreshed my screen. Never mind you already fixed it.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Yeah, I know...Pictures are hard to find though for this...believe me I spent a lot of time looking...LOL...Bob
Comment from BarnCat
Fun read, Bob. Loved the ending and your description of Del (perfect name for this character) was convincing. Glad he was going for a sub, and not a juggler (pun intended.) Deb
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Fun read, Bob. Loved the ending and your description of Del (perfect name for this character) was convincing. Glad he was going for a sub, and not a juggler (pun intended.) Deb
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Thanks a lot, Deb Yeah, good ole Del. Bob
Comment from Deejharrington
I am guessing the best way to judge these entries is if they read like the start of a longer and interesting story. One where the character(s) are introduced and the plot begun. I'd say that your entry fulfills all those requirements and more. Best of luck in the contest.
deb
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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I am guessing the best way to judge these entries is if they read like the start of a longer and interesting story. One where the character(s) are introduced and the plot begun. I'd say that your entry fulfills all those requirements and more. Best of luck in the contest.
deb
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Yeah, but iz love them...Gives me a chance to do some prose which I have to get back to very soon now...Thanks, Deb...Bob
Comment from Charlene0513
To Mastery,
A short skit describing a man's worst day as he is brutally
beaten with heavy gashes and wounds open around the eyes. He satifies his ego by eating a sub.
Charlene
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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To Mastery,
A short skit describing a man's worst day as he is brutally
beaten with heavy gashes and wounds open around the eyes. He satifies his ego by eating a sub.
Charlene
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Right yu are, Char...Thanks so much, Bob
Comment from jackiesmuse
This is great. Never guessed what was going on. Was it a conscious choice to repeat 'his' so many times?
Best of luck in the contest!
I love Italian subs...
:-) Jackie
NICE!!
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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This is great. Never guessed what was going on. Was it a conscious choice to repeat 'his' so many times?
Best of luck in the contest!
I love Italian subs...
:-) Jackie
NICE!!
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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You know waht, Jackie...you are right...I didn't even notice the streak of "his" crap... I updated it...take a look...thanks so much....Bob
Comment from jayesnb
This is great...excellent job building up the tension and ending with the sub..great picture too..throws the reader off.good luck in hte contest/
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reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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This is great...excellent job building up the tension and ending with the sub..great picture too..throws the reader off.good luck in hte contest/
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Thanks, Jayesnb...I appreciate your review....Bob
Comment from fastdigits
The master who lays the groundwork
with words that paint a picture of
the scene, and then slams you in the
belly with that surprise ending that
takes your breath away.
Still the master
Well done and good luck
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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The master who lays the groundwork
with words that paint a picture of
the scene, and then slams you in the
belly with that surprise ending that
takes your breath away.
Still the master
Well done and good luck
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Hey, Digits...Glad you liked it...Bob
