Triolets: Traditional and Modified
Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "Millennia have Come and Gone"Poems employing this musical, repeating form
104 total reviews
Comment from LauraKatherine
This is heart-wrenching and chilling, Brooke.
I am reminded how the first mother, Eve, must have grieved at the warfare that her older son waged upon her younger one. She essentially lost both sons: Abel to death and Cain to the curse of wandering. She is the true mother to every woman who has lost a child in war, whether as a soldier or a civilian.
Great descriptions here:
since spears from sticks were carved, then drawn (gave me chills picturing this)
while teardrops spill and bosoms heave (I thought of the mamas who nursed their babies at their bosoms, comforted their tears, and then have to endure the anguish of crying over their child's dead body--the same one they nurtured not so long before)
Powerful.
LK
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This is heart-wrenching and chilling, Brooke.
I am reminded how the first mother, Eve, must have grieved at the warfare that her older son waged upon her younger one. She essentially lost both sons: Abel to death and Cain to the curse of wandering. She is the true mother to every woman who has lost a child in war, whether as a soldier or a civilian.
Great descriptions here:
since spears from sticks were carved, then drawn (gave me chills picturing this)
while teardrops spill and bosoms heave (I thought of the mamas who nursed their babies at their bosoms, comforted their tears, and then have to endure the anguish of crying over their child's dead body--the same one they nurtured not so long before)
Powerful.
LK
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
Comment from fastdigits
Your poem on the waste of
war, the heartache, the pain.
Your words are soft, fragile
tear at the heart with poignant
feelings of helplessness for
the rage of when sons and
daughters go out to kill and
be killed.
A poem that makes one stop and
think how sad, and yet it has
gone on for millennias and there
is nothing to makes one feel that
it will continually go on.
Well done
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Your poem on the waste of
war, the heartache, the pain.
Your words are soft, fragile
tear at the heart with poignant
feelings of helplessness for
the rage of when sons and
daughters go out to kill and
be killed.
A poem that makes one stop and
think how sad, and yet it has
gone on for millennias and there
is nothing to makes one feel that
it will continually go on.
Well done
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Thank you so much for your perceptive comments, and the fact that it also includes daughters more and more now makes me cringe all the more. Brooke :-)
Comment from Wild Flower
Unfortunately this is very true. It's also very beautifully written with a smooth flow. It's wonderful.
And the explanation of the poem was good too. I always learn so much from you.
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Unfortunately this is very true. It's also very beautifully written with a smooth flow. It's wonderful.
And the explanation of the poem was good too. I always learn so much from you.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
Comment from cgale
This is a really touching piece that speaks of the unparalleled love of a mother. The only thing I didn't care for was the phrase 'bosoms heave' just because it doesn't flow smoothly like the rest of the poem. Otherwise, well done.
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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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This is a really touching piece that speaks of the unparalleled love of a mother. The only thing I didn't care for was the phrase 'bosoms heave' just because it doesn't flow smoothly like the rest of the poem. Otherwise, well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Thank you, cgale, for your review and feedback. Brooke
Comment from pugdogy
great job here!!!
I really enjoyed reading this piece of work, I found it soo sad though reminded me of the war we're still in and the mothers weeping over their loved ones. keep up the absolutely great work!!!
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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great job here!!!
I really enjoyed reading this piece of work, I found it soo sad though reminded me of the war we're still in and the mothers weeping over their loved ones. keep up the absolutely great work!!!
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Thank you, pugdogy, for your thoughtfulness :-) Brooke
Comment from veronicahk
Wow! So beautiful and so potent. What a great message. I love the triolet structure. It's a brand new poetry form for me. Thanks for introducing it to me with such style!
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Wow! So beautiful and so potent. What a great message. I love the triolet structure. It's a brand new poetry form for me. Thanks for introducing it to me with such style!
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Thanks so much, veronica :-) I love the triolet form, too. Brooke :-)
Comment from ArtGal
Brooke, once again this is a great form for your wonderful writing. This is so good, especially bringing in all of the mothers' grieving. I really liked, spears from sticks being carved, that's exceptional. I truly enjoyed...Sharon
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Brooke, once again this is a great form for your wonderful writing. This is so good, especially bringing in all of the mothers' grieving. I really liked, spears from sticks being carved, that's exceptional. I truly enjoyed...Sharon
Comment Written 07-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Sharon, thank you for your gracious comments :-) Brooke
Comment from mountainwriter49
Brook, this is a beautiful poem. You've brought the horror down to just the basics, mothers' grief. So well written. If I had a 6 left in my starbox tonight, it would be yours. And please do write the war series in different forms. Such would be a significant contribution to poetry and our FS site. -ray
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Brook, this is a beautiful poem. You've brought the horror down to just the basics, mothers' grief. So well written. If I had a 6 left in my starbox tonight, it would be yours. And please do write the war series in different forms. Such would be a significant contribution to poetry and our FS site. -ray
Comment Written 07-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Thank you, Ray. I so appreciate your most generous impulses :-) brooke
Comment from Hitcher
Very nicely done Brooke,I loved;
since spears from sticks were carved, then drawn
awesome line!
I like the style, you do it so well friend!
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Very nicely done Brooke,I loved;
since spears from sticks were carved, then drawn
awesome line!
I like the style, you do it so well friend!
Comment Written 07-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Thank you, Hitch. I love the triolet style! Brooke :-)
Comment from bard owl
Reflective indeed! How sad for loving heart when harmless accoutrements of nature were turned into instruments of battle. This is an excellently thoughtful write, Brooke. Your poetry is always perfectly presented. Blessings to you, Linda
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Reflective indeed! How sad for loving heart when harmless accoutrements of nature were turned into instruments of battle. This is an excellently thoughtful write, Brooke. Your poetry is always perfectly presented. Blessings to you, Linda
Comment Written 07-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Thank you, Linda. I truly appreciate your kind comments :-) Brooke
