Blind Trust
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Bring It On"A woman is stalked by a fan
15 total reviews
Comment from shelley kaye
okay where can i meet a guy like rudy? LOL!
anyway this was a great chapter! can't wait to see what happens next :)
didn't notice any spaggies or typos or anything else to mention about
thanx for sharing!
shelley :)
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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okay where can i meet a guy like rudy? LOL!
anyway this was a great chapter! can't wait to see what happens next :)
didn't notice any spaggies or typos or anything else to mention about
thanx for sharing!
shelley :)
Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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He's way cool, girlie. If I find a spare ... he's loosely modeled after Jeff ... I'll make sure to introduce you.
Glad you liked this one. Two more tomorrow. Before long we'll let the dogs out!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from rwilliam
"Alarms went off in his mind like land mines, refusing to stop, bombarding him with memories." Awesome line! Love this! :-)
This chapter was easy to read. The flow was really good.
I liked the part about the cereal, made me remember when my mom made that too. You have a good way of bringing everyday things into your books that make the story's come alive for me. They seem real. I like that and I will try and do the same with my own writing. Great work!
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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"Alarms went off in his mind like land mines, refusing to stop, bombarding him with memories." Awesome line! Love this! :-)
This chapter was easy to read. The flow was really good.
I liked the part about the cereal, made me remember when my mom made that too. You have a good way of bringing everyday things into your books that make the story's come alive for me. They seem real. I like that and I will try and do the same with my own writing. Great work!
Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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I'm getting to the point where I'm looking for your reviews, William. You always encourage as well as inform and I appreciate your comments so much.
Thank you!
Gayle
Comment from Korton
Idle empty threats. Nathan has no idea who he's messing with. His twisted mind is undoubtedly going to get him in a lot more trouble as the story progresses. He's really going to be pissed when the two of them leave for a couple of days. Wonder how long it will take Rudy to realize that they are being watched. Very well done.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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Idle empty threats. Nathan has no idea who he's messing with. His twisted mind is undoubtedly going to get him in a lot more trouble as the story progresses. He's really going to be pissed when the two of them leave for a couple of days. Wonder how long it will take Rudy to realize that they are being watched. Very well done.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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I'm sayin'! He doesn't know what's waiting for him. I'm so glad you enjoy this one. It has a twist coming up, you know me. You'll like it! ;)
Thanks a bunch<~>
Gayle
Comment from Narvik
I can tell you put a lot of effort into these chapters. They run very smoothly and I can rarely find anything I'd change. The only thing in this one was in the first paragraph: I thought "took on the shape of" repeated close together looked a little repetitious.
Anyway, keep up the great work.
~ Jack
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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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I can tell you put a lot of effort into these chapters. They run very smoothly and I can rarely find anything I'd change. The only thing in this one was in the first paragraph: I thought "took on the shape of" repeated close together looked a little repetitious.
Anyway, keep up the great work.
~ Jack
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Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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Hi Jack,
Oh, yes, this one has been in the cooker for almost six months. I figured it was just about tender, lol.
So glad you liked this one and I'll check out the ..shape of.. thingy. Good catch!
Gayle
Comment from Sasha
I loved this chapter. It is filled with the right amount of tension and unanswered questions that keep the reader on the edge of their chair. You are doing a terrific job with this and I anxiously look forward to the next chapter.
One comment. Since Cathy has been blind for nearly ten years, I find it odd that she hasn't already learned to place food on her plate in an organized pattern. That is usually one of the first things a blind person learns. It is the same with placement of dishes etc. It is fine that she doesn't do this, but you might add an explanation for why she hasn't learned this. Your comment about her being organized with her art helps but still doesn't explain why she hasn't learned to organize her food. Just a thought.
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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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I loved this chapter. It is filled with the right amount of tension and unanswered questions that keep the reader on the edge of their chair. You are doing a terrific job with this and I anxiously look forward to the next chapter.
One comment. Since Cathy has been blind for nearly ten years, I find it odd that she hasn't already learned to place food on her plate in an organized pattern. That is usually one of the first things a blind person learns. It is the same with placement of dishes etc. It is fine that she doesn't do this, but you might add an explanation for why she hasn't learned this. Your comment about her being organized with her art helps but still doesn't explain why she hasn't learned to organize her food. Just a thought.
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Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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Hey Sasha!
Excellent point about the patterns, et al. You are absolutely right, it's one of the first things they learn. What I'm trying to do is to show that she really didn't care before. Her personality will begin to come out as the next couple of chapters unfold. She's not all that much of a 'people person' and except for her few close friends, she'd rather be along.
In the final edit, I am going to go into more detail about her routines and things. You know how it goes. If you read it when it comes out in a couple of months you'll say, "My that story sounds vaguely familiar!" Lol, I'm never satisfied!
In Riding Blind, the first book I did on blind people, I went into such detail. This time, I don't know, maybe because she was an adult when it happened.
Great thoughts to ponder, my friend!
Thanks,
Gayle
