Transformation
a poem written in alexandrines37 total reviews
Comment from Valkarie
This piece is quite intriguing with a very good flow and dialogue. I don't quite understand the system you say this piece is written in, I just write poetry that comes into my head. Your piece is of course very creative and artistic and I think there is some message within your words for the reader. Great piece.
Valkarie...
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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This piece is quite intriguing with a very good flow and dialogue. I don't quite understand the system you say this piece is written in, I just write poetry that comes into my head. Your piece is of course very creative and artistic and I think there is some message within your words for the reader. Great piece.
Valkarie...
Comment Written 26-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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Thanks for a great review; I truly appreciate it.
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No problem I was glad to review your piece.
V...
Comment from Dall
I did enjoy and I wish I could give it 10 stars. It looked like hard work. I enjoyed it and was amazed at the rhyming scheme. The message was good also. It flowed smooth.. This was very well done!
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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I did enjoy and I wish I could give it 10 stars. It looked like hard work. I enjoyed it and was amazed at the rhyming scheme. The message was good also. It flowed smooth.. This was very well done!
Comment Written 26-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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Thank you for a good review. I am only suggesting this because of the mention of ten stars. It's actually very easy to change the review or rating of a work at any time. I do it often on Sunday when I receive my allotment of four six stars reviews. Of course, each time I do that, I lose a six star rating for the week beginning on said Sunday.
Go to My Menu in the upper left hand corner of the screen. Scroll down to My Feedback and from the drop-down menu, select Reviews I Wrote. All the reviews you have written will come up, and you scroll down to the one you want to change. Click on Edit Review in the lower RIGHT hand screen of the review; you then can change the wording of the review or the rating. Of course, I am not asking you to revise the review or the rating; I am just explaining how it can be done after the factâ??it's helped me correct many a mistake. The earliest you could do that is Sunday. Thanks again for a superior review.
Comment from Maurice WA Johnson
I loved the story of this piece, Alvin. And I cannot fault the execution of the form. But I fear that I found the piece as a whole disappointing. The piece presented to me a dirge like repetition that was unrelieved by the final verses. I think that the ending needs to break the monotonous tones of the beginning and middle verses.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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I loved the story of this piece, Alvin. And I cannot fault the execution of the form. But I fear that I found the piece as a whole disappointing. The piece presented to me a dirge like repetition that was unrelieved by the final verses. I think that the ending needs to break the monotonous tones of the beginning and middle verses.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from babylonia
i don't know how to do it but i can say i absolutely love it. i felt every pain and sorrow and joy of tomorrow. life changes in a blink of an eye. yeah, i've did the jacob struggle before, always to come out on top. imagery is excellent. good luck~
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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i don't know how to do it but i can say i absolutely love it. i felt every pain and sorrow and joy of tomorrow. life changes in a blink of an eye. yeah, i've did the jacob struggle before, always to come out on top. imagery is excellent. good luck~
love,
barbara
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Thanks for a great review; I truly appreciate it.
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you are very welcome~
love,
barbara
Comment from joan marie
I thought the rhyming was excellent. I had someone give me the name of an online rhyming dictionary. That is the one I used for the rhyme in the first place. People!! I like this form with this subject. I, also like that it goes from the darkness of life to the light and a better place. joan marie
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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I thought the rhyming was excellent. I had someone give me the name of an online rhyming dictionary. That is the one I used for the rhyme in the first place. People!! I like this form with this subject. I, also like that it goes from the darkness of life to the light and a better place. joan marie
Comment Written 05-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Yes, I like that, too. There are several rhyming dictionaries online I use. Thanks for a great review and for understanding the poem.
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I see I left an important detail out of my review. The person giving me the website gave me a four for the single syllable end rhyme. jm
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To which work of yours are you referring?
AE
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Food For Thought-memories/goodies. Some people are very inflexible. jm
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They rhyme in my book, for what that's worth!
Comment from Kentucky Sweet Pea
Alvin, I don't know all the ends and outs of this form of poetry, but I think I have a tendency to write this form at times, naturally. Don't you?
Some things are just within us that cannot be explained...
I love this poem. It exudes the truth like the heavens hold the Milky Way, the Moon and the beautiful planet Earth. I mean it. So totally touching and full of the apprehension, the fear, the desire, the guilt and everything makes us complicated when we are but simple beings.
You are a wonderful Christian; I don't care what you've done or what you're going to do. God knows what we are going to do before we do. He loves us anyway and that's one of the greatest pieces of knowledge I hold in my heart everyday-I know I am loved by Him and accepted, just as I am. He made me.
I cannot say enough about the wonder and beauty of this poem.
It is your best as far as I am concerned.
Love,
Pen
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Alvin, I don't know all the ends and outs of this form of poetry, but I think I have a tendency to write this form at times, naturally. Don't you?
Some things are just within us that cannot be explained...
I love this poem. It exudes the truth like the heavens hold the Milky Way, the Moon and the beautiful planet Earth. I mean it. So totally touching and full of the apprehension, the fear, the desire, the guilt and everything makes us complicated when we are but simple beings.
You are a wonderful Christian; I don't care what you've done or what you're going to do. God knows what we are going to do before we do. He loves us anyway and that's one of the greatest pieces of knowledge I hold in my heart everyday-I know I am loved by Him and accepted, just as I am. He made me.
I cannot say enough about the wonder and beauty of this poem.
It is your best as far as I am concerned.
Love,
Pen
Comment Written 05-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Thank you for such a kind review; I truly appreciate it. I don't think I have seen enough of a sampling of your work to know if you write in this form or not. Thanks for saying this is my best; several people have told me that and I am quite flattered. Thank you also for a good review.
Comment from EllieKaye
Hi Al,
Wow! I am sure this was NOT easy to write. I won't even dream of attempting such a thing. Well written and loved the pace and the beat--which I could actually hear this time. :)As I have told you, I love when there is a story in the poem. Well done.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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Hi Al,
Wow! I am sure this was NOT easy to write. I won't even dream of attempting such a thing. Well written and loved the pace and the beat--which I could actually hear this time. :)As I have told you, I love when there is a story in the poem. Well done.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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Thanks for a great review. No, it was not easy to write. I am sorry I am so behind in my reviewing. I will try to catch up after Epiphany. Thanks for a great review.
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No need to feel you have to read mine. :) I hope all is well. Keep writing! I love reading them!:)
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I enjoy reading your work; it's just that Christmastide is a busy time for me.
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
Al, this is really quite an awesome work and a great presentation for your esquisite verses! Absolutely wouldn't change anything about it ~ everything works perfectly together to get your emotions out there and make the reader "fee" your faith...great job and good luck in the booth. Love, Susanne
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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Al, this is really quite an awesome work and a great presentation for your esquisite verses! Absolutely wouldn't change anything about it ~ everything works perfectly together to get your emotions out there and make the reader "fee" your faith...great job and good luck in the booth. Love, Susanne
Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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Thanks for a great review; I truly appreciate it. Also, thanks for catching that metering mistake in another poem of mine; I do not know how I missed it, but I think it is fixed now.
Comment from honeytree
I loved the art work and title very much.
I felt the words of concern and feeling alone.
The devil was up to his tricks again.
I felt the struggle within these words and the sorrow and remorse.
God came to the rescue within times of trouble
I saw the faith and thanking God for his help.
The best part is being with God forever.
Wonderful Writing and Art work.
Honeytree
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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I loved the art work and title very much.
I felt the words of concern and feeling alone.
The devil was up to his tricks again.
I felt the struggle within these words and the sorrow and remorse.
God came to the rescue within times of trouble
I saw the faith and thanking God for his help.
The best part is being with God forever.
Wonderful Writing and Art work.
Honeytree
Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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Thanks for understanding the progression of this poem so well and for a good review.
Comment from StevenJosephBruening
alvin:
A good New Year to you and what magnnficent poem for me to start my reading with today. A most complicated composition, in which I, in my humble ability, was unable to detectany any error. It definetely has FIATH as the prevailiing theme, for FAITH is much stronger when lost and then regained, much akin to Paradise Lost and Paradise Regained (note allusion to the great poet John Milton). Hugs!
~ Steven
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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alvin:
A good New Year to you and what magnnficent poem for me to start my reading with today. A most complicated composition, in which I, in my humble ability, was unable to detectany any error. It definetely has FIATH as the prevailiing theme, for FAITH is much stronger when lost and then regained, much akin to Paradise Lost and Paradise Regained (note allusion to the great poet John Milton). Hugs!
~ Steven
Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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Thanks for a great review; I truly appreciate it.
