Twisting Circles
Longing for the love of one.37 total reviews
Comment from Aussie
Are you truly a wall flower? I felt the lonliness within your poem. Your words painted a picture of despair. I was a little confused with the final stanza (being confused is me being an oldie!) In gratitude - you found love? Or on the other hand were you left with the love of the Universe? Well done poet.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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Are you truly a wall flower? I felt the lonliness within your poem. Your words painted a picture of despair. I was a little confused with the final stanza (being confused is me being an oldie!) In gratitude - you found love? Or on the other hand were you left with the love of the Universe? Well done poet.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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Thank you for the very kind words, I do appreciate it...DKLRD
Comment from volunteer angel
Loneliness is terrible! I know, I've been there when I was a widow twice! One is left both to grieve and to feel like they are all alone in this world. I'm not sure what cloning has to do with this poem. Otherwise it's great! V.A.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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Loneliness is terrible! I know, I've been there when I was a widow twice! One is left both to grieve and to feel like they are all alone in this world. I'm not sure what cloning has to do with this poem. Otherwise it's great! V.A.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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Thank you so very much for the kind review, I do appreciate you stopping by...DKLRD
Comment from laurelp
The truest way to be recognized is to except yourself, flaws and all as a good person and an excellent poet. This poem is no exception. Very nicely written, it offers up power of strength and problems of defeat. Excellent read.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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The truest way to be recognized is to except yourself, flaws and all as a good person and an excellent poet. This poem is no exception. Very nicely written, it offers up power of strength and problems of defeat. Excellent read.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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Thank you so very much for the kind words...DKLRD
Comment from Carol D Parker
This is excellent. I so enjoyed reading it. The first part is something I can relate to. "I am left alone, escaping into the background" That's me. "Watching myself slither to the furthermost corner of society," Me too. My longing for acceptance grows too. I don't quite understand the rest but I like the words. Great stuff. Great work
Delora
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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This is excellent. I so enjoyed reading it. The first part is something I can relate to. "I am left alone, escaping into the background" That's me. "Watching myself slither to the furthermost corner of society," Me too. My longing for acceptance grows too. I don't quite understand the rest but I like the words. Great stuff. Great work
Delora
Comment Written 20-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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Thank you so very much for the kind support, I do appreciate it...DKLRD
Comment from Writeaway...
I always enjoy reading your work, excellent job, I found no spags whatsoever and was kept interested and the colours blended in well,excellent job, keep writing!!
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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I always enjoy reading your work, excellent job, I found no spags whatsoever and was kept interested and the colours blended in well,excellent job, keep writing!!
Comment Written 20-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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thank you very much for such kind words, I do appreciate it...DKLRD
Comment from CT Brandon
very nicely written. dark and haunting but not overly done. it flows beautifully and has a certain subtlety to it. i like the pic on your bio as well. Is that Raistlin? Well done and best regards...
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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very nicely written. dark and haunting but not overly done. it flows beautifully and has a certain subtlety to it. i like the pic on your bio as well. Is that Raistlin? Well done and best regards...
Comment Written 20-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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thank you so very much for the kind words, I do appreciate it. The profile picture is of a character named Darth Bane....DKLRD
Comment from MizKat
DKLRDMCCHES - Your poem is written well and a very interesting read. At least I enjoyed it from word one to the end. Keep up your magic in word art. Kat
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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DKLRDMCCHES - Your poem is written well and a very interesting read. At least I enjoyed it from word one to the end. Keep up your magic in word art. Kat
Comment Written 20-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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Thank you very much for the kind words...DKLRD
Comment from Kentucky Sweet Pea
This is raw, sad, fighting mad, dying to live, real writing. I don't know what else to say or that I could say regarding this ingenius poem.
Except (yeah I'm a woman, what'd ya expect?)
Stop the corner bullshit and embrace your life head on. You'll discover more upon the dance floor than you will with your purty nose in that old proverbial corner.
Get jiggy.
Pea
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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This is raw, sad, fighting mad, dying to live, real writing. I don't know what else to say or that I could say regarding this ingenius poem.
Except (yeah I'm a woman, what'd ya expect?)
Stop the corner bullshit and embrace your life head on. You'll discover more upon the dance floor than you will with your purty nose in that old proverbial corner.
Get jiggy.
Pea
Comment Written 20-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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WOW!!!! Thank you so very much for such a great review, I do appreciate it very much...DKLRD
Comment from sierra scribbler
Your poem is great, but I think you could clean it up a bit, make it sharper.
In your first stanza, you could omit "the" in the line I ponder thoughts of emotional rescue, and also omit, "the" in the line- While others gladly shake the hands of many.
You could probably rework the wording in your 2nd stanza, maybe something like:
My hands tremble from thoughts of despair
Overwhelmed by my estranged intellectual curiosity.
The ever expanding universe swallows my being
As longing for acceptance grows by the hour.
Maybe you could give your reader a hint at what "Twisting circles of Arizona splendor" are. And who are you sharing "The moments of inner solar star,. If you are sharing- why are you "Slithering to the furthest corner of society?" Who's scent are you inhaling?
Maybe you could rework the "Now knowing what it takes... line, as it is a bit confusing, and expand on the remainder of your last stanza.
I hope I made a tiny bit of sense to you. Thanks for sharing
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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Your poem is great, but I think you could clean it up a bit, make it sharper.
In your first stanza, you could omit "the" in the line I ponder thoughts of emotional rescue, and also omit, "the" in the line- While others gladly shake the hands of many.
You could probably rework the wording in your 2nd stanza, maybe something like:
My hands tremble from thoughts of despair
Overwhelmed by my estranged intellectual curiosity.
The ever expanding universe swallows my being
As longing for acceptance grows by the hour.
Maybe you could give your reader a hint at what "Twisting circles of Arizona splendor" are. And who are you sharing "The moments of inner solar star,. If you are sharing- why are you "Slithering to the furthest corner of society?" Who's scent are you inhaling?
Maybe you could rework the "Now knowing what it takes... line, as it is a bit confusing, and expand on the remainder of your last stanza.
I hope I made a tiny bit of sense to you. Thanks for sharing
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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Thanks...DKLRD
Comment from RebelRose
This is very profound. I had to read it twice to fully understand its meaning. The lines flow smoothly and the structure is good.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2009
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This is very profound. I had to read it twice to fully understand its meaning. The lines flow smoothly and the structure is good.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2009
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Thank you so very much for the kind review, I do appreciate it...DKLRD
