Comment from Gaye Hemsley

Excellent

Hi Brooke I like the messege in your poem. An interesting rhyming pattern. The last two lines certainly do sum it up.
This weekend finished my year with my dance pupils concert it went well. In a couple of days I will update my web page if you would like to visit it is. www.christinaproductions.co.nz Christmas cheer to you. LOL Gaye

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009

Thank you, Gaye. I'm so happy your recital went well - Christmas cheer to you, too, my friend!! Brooke :-)

Comment from AlvinTEthington

Excellent

This is a good hex sonnetta with the first stanza stating the theme, the second stanza changing the tone, and the third stanza tying together the first two stanzas. Good use of iambic trimeter. Excellent execution of the abbaab cddccd ee rhyme scheme. This is a difficult form, and I am still becoming accustomed to it, but this rendering has made me like it a bit more.

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009

This is my first stab at this form - so I am glad you think I executed it well, Alvin :-) Brooke

reply by AlvinTEthington on 14-Dec-2009

Yes, you did. My mind's jury is still out on whether I like it or not.

Comment from HalfHoff

Excellent

I cannot even begin to pronounce the name of this poetry format -- just how many kazillionz are there? NO matter --- this was a very comforting read -- perfect for the season. Lea Ann

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009

I can't remember if Wikipedia says there are 2 or 3 kazillion poetic forms :-) Thanks, Lea Ann :-) Brooke

Comment from LauraKatherine

Excellent

I like the use of contrast between the two stanzas: Christmastime/new year, kindness and cheer/worries and self-centeredness, sharing/hoarding our crumbs.

Oddly enough, the sentiment here reminded me of the political tenor after an election. Both parties say they will work together, be more bipartisan, etc. A few weeks later, they're back to their normal contentious spirit. The so-called "unity" was nothing but an illusion.

My favorite line:
Please ask that God forgive
when good will is outlived. (How sad that good will should ever be "outlived,"as if our feelings of charity toward fellow humans was supposed to have a lifespan and that it was perfectly acceptable to allow it to ever die! It makes me wonder if the "good will" was ever more than just a fickle feeling. In reality, good will is far more than a fleeting thing; it's a day in, day out active kindness that continues even when the doer doesn't "feel" like willing good towards someone else.)

Good poem. LK

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009

LK - yes, I like your association with those political promises - goodwill in politics is as infrequent as goodwill in caring for one's neighbors, it seems. thanks so much for your most insightful comments :-) Brooke

Comment from Rvaltaysesd

Excellent

Very good poem, the first verse was the most I liked the poem is beautiful and poetic images shows very good, very good poem, greetings Rvaltaysesd

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009

Thank you, my friend, for another positive review :-) Brooke

Comment from DecrepitOldBag

Excellent

So, this is a 'hex sonnetta', not a form I'm at all familiar with. You have, as always, done a wonderful job of getting across to the reader how the 'goodwill' of christmas very rapidly returns to the 'I'm all right, Jack' attitude. Isn't it sad?

Beautiful rhyme scheme and there is a definite rhythm and pace, which I've enjoyed, as I enjoy all your work.

Great write, Boorke.

Hugs
kat

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009

I hadn't heard of it before either - thanks, my friend :-) Brooke

Comment from Pyrrhonian

Excellent

For a piece of creative writing, it is well creafted, as usual. The concept of temporary goodness could find contention from the viewpoint that it is unfortunately through constrainment that most people act "kind" during the holiday. I for one would rather have the more real, true forms of giving people exhibit throughout the year, uncompelled by any socially mandated function.

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009

As someone who works with several community outreach organizations, I have to tell you, I'm a pragmatist - if people do it out of guilt, for the tax deduction, out of obligation at Christmas or out of a true spirit of giving - just so we get a check that stocks the shelves or keeps the heat on, I'm happy. How's that for sounding jaded? Obviously, as the idealist I am, I would also vastly prefer giving be simply from the heart and soul without any socially mandated function, but the years have made me happy for what we can get :-) Thanks, my friend, for your insightful thoughts. Brooke

Comment from stormwolf2

Excellent

Another wonderful seasonal poem that we should all take note of. How true your words are... Please ask that God forgive
when good will is outlived. If only everyone could keep this feeling of good will throughout the year, it would be a time for rejoicing.

Well written with a nice easy flow and rhyme.

Best wishes,
Malcolm

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009

Thank you, Malcolm - I'm pleased you found meaning in this poem Brooke :-)

Comment from babylonia

Excellent

brooke,
i think the problem is people get into this buying frenzy and then the reality sets in in january. then everyone is working their asses off once more to pay down the debt. ugh~~~
beautiful. imagery is excellent. a hex sonnetta, eh? hmmmm ... very interesting.
love,
barbara

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009

Thank you, Barbara - You're right - it's a vicious cycle. Brooke :-)

reply by babylonia on 13-Dec-2009

brooke,
it is so insane. it really isn't about the presents as much as stores wanting to make more profit. doesn't even guarantee job security for those of us spending. they still send the damn jobs overseas. maybe CEOs should spend a week or more working a sweatshop job and learn the true meaning of life.
love,
barbara

Comment from L.lora

Excellent

Very nicely done, perfect
inflection of words that
dance gently off the tongue.
The thoughts evoked by this
are ones that should be held
dear and yes pray God forgive.
Excellent. Lora

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2009

Thnaks so much, Lora - I appreciate your kind review :-) Brooke