Comment from AlvinTEthington

Excellent

A very amusing poem with a lilting aabb rhyme scheme. It's perfect for children and for humor. The last line of the penultimate stanza is hysterical. Great juxtaposition of picture and poem.

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2009

Thank you Al, a little whimsical, but true! I joined FanStory to use as a tool for receiving feedback on my book "Dearest Mama". Then I read some poems, and thought I would give them a go. And here I am, putting more time into my poetry than working on my book. I must rectify that though, as that is a very important project in my life.
Warmest regards
Marijke

reply by AlvinTEthington on 09-Dec-2009

I enjoyed reading the prologue.

Comment from jason456

Excellent

Me too! I just love this site and spend way too much time on it. I actually wrote one named "Addicted" on this site. I laughed hysterically the entire time I was writing it. I wrote some children's stories years ago when my children were small. Haven't tried it in a long time. As you can see, I really do like your poem; it's really cute.
Patti :)

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2009

Thanks again Patti, I believe I read your poem "Addicted", it rings a bell. I too am spending a lot of time on this, but try to balance it out with family and other things.
But once I start I forget the time!
Warmest regards
Marijke

Comment from storywings

Excellent

I loved this!!!

And i am so glad you started writing on here because i love your work.

You lost a bit of rhythm in this poem though.

I had a funny little notion
That I needed a magic potion

About topics many and varied
Some should probably be buried

those two couplets aren't in time with each other.

Other than that i loved it, very well written

2: awesome :)

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009

Okay, thank you for that advice as well (you've been very busy!).
I have changed these lines as follows, and would love your feedback whether they work now.

I had a funny little notion
Perhaps I need a magic potion

About topics wide and varied
Some of these should have been buried

Thank you again.
Warmest regards
Marijke

Comment from AnnaLinda

Excellent

fionageorge,

I think that you did a fantastic job on this 'Poetry for all Ages Prologue' What a great idea! You have great rhymes in your poem and I enjoyed reading it.

"I've decided to put some onto pages
Creating a book for kids of all ages"

I look forward to reading the future poems in your book.

Linda

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009

Thank you Linda, I was just getting such a long Portfolio.
I might create a second book to put poems not so suitable for the younger age group.
Warmest regards
Marijke

Comment from missy98writer

Excellent

fionageorge,
I love your poem "Poetry For all ages Prologue". Once again you crafted a great poem. You did a great job incorporating fanstory in your well crafted words. The poem rhymed and flowed with great imagery. I like the line:
Receiving positive feedback straight away
On my first poem that very first day
Learning about metres, rhythm and rhyme
Getting lots of good advice many a time

The art work is lovely as the color scheme. Your poem is five stars of excellence. Thanks for sharing your poems for children of all ages. Just remember this quote I used in a story I wrote "When you wish upon a star makes no difference who you are".
Melissa.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009

I will certainly remember that line, thank you Melissa.
I had never written poetry before joining FanStory, and did not join for that purpose, but for the purpose of getting feedback on my attempt at my novel "Dearest Mama".
Poetry is my escape from the seriousness of that writing. I can do it in a smaller space of spare time than what it takes to write a chapter for my book. Besides, I have to be in the right frame of mind, as it is very emotional whilst writing.
She her I am - a poet? - lol :).
Thanks again for you continued kind words and support.
Warmest regards
Marijke

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I hope I am like Peter Pan and earn your dedication! I am pleased to be a bit prescient about your plans to create a book for children. I appreciate your self-effacing remarks, but your well-crafted work does not deserve our pity. Once again, I enjoyed your rhymes.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009

Thank you Joan, for this very kind and generous review, and those lovely stars. Your work has been an inspiration to me since joining this site, and I hope we can both enjoy each others' work for a long time to come. Notlooking for pity now, but was to start with, I was so insecure! Now I am looking to improve, especially in the area of being more 'poetic'. I write poetry as I see it, in plain language, which some people seem to really like, others not so much. But that is what it is all about, right?
Thanks you pseudo Peter Pan.
Warmest regards and hugs
Marijke

Comment from melyuki

Excellent

HI Marijke, what an excellent prologue for your kids story book. I can see this blending into one fabulous book. You have a gift for writing, and what could be nicer than one based around those wonderful grandkids. something they will truly appreciate when they grow up and can share it with their own kids. quite a journey away, but I can forsee it in their future. well done Marijke, lots of hugs and warm smiles from Mel

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009

Thanks again Mel, I was going to bed, but here I am, still at FanStory, going back to some of my earliest writings. Guess what, they weren't too bad for someone who was just going to write a book, and had never written poetry before.
Thanks again, and I hope my grandchildren will share some of these with their kids.
Warmest regards, hugs, smiles and love
Marijke

Comment from Trybuck

Excellent

We're so glad you came this way bringing your rhymes and wit to play. Enjoy reading a poem well written about a dog, horse or even a kitten... Good one, Buck

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2009

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009

Thank you Buck, I started the book to bring some poems together, and it kept asking me for a prologue, so I thought I had better write one. Appreciate your kind words, and pleased you are glad I came this way.
Warmest regards
Marijke