cinquains
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Veterans Day Prayer"cinquain poetry
102 total reviews
Comment from JMRoland
Hi adewpearl,
Congratulations on winning 2nd place (tie) with this excellent cinquain poem. It moved me deeply. You have captured in a few words the deep sadness of loss as well the solemn pride felt for soldiers who have given their lives in service to their country..
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2010
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Hi adewpearl,
Congratulations on winning 2nd place (tie) with this excellent cinquain poem. It moved me deeply. You have captured in a few words the deep sadness of loss as well the solemn pride felt for soldiers who have given their lives in service to their country..
Comment Written 26-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2010
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Thank you, my friend - I wrote this back in the beginning of November, so it is lovely to have it being read again. You are most generous with your rating and even to review a poem no longer promoted. Brooke :-)
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Brooke-
I didn't see this poem until today. Have not been online with regularity. Thanks for reviewing mine, but it is not necessary to reciprocate. I just sa ywhat I think when I see something fine.
JMR
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Reciprocating reviews is how I do the vast majority of my reviews - sometimes I do a little from the up next bonus reviewing or from contest lists, but that's just how I find good stuff. Not to mention, it's plain good manners! LOL
Comment from Nicnac
Beautiful.
Our country's precious patriots, being embraced by the warming leaves of a cool fall...
Lovely poetry. Lovely thought.
This poem is especially powerful, Brooke.
Well done.
(I wish there was a FS category for patriotism/military/country)
Nic
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2009
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Beautiful.
Our country's precious patriots, being embraced by the warming leaves of a cool fall...
Lovely poetry. Lovely thought.
This poem is especially powerful, Brooke.
Well done.
(I wish there was a FS category for patriotism/military/country)
Nic
Comment Written 14-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Nic - you're right, that would be a good category. Brooke :-)
Comment from The Guardian
Though the leaves serve as a blanket in this veteran's day cinquain, the concept of our children and husbands being laid to rest beneath cold stone is forever chilling. And yet, I can relate to the maternal feeling of wishing to push away the cold, to convince myself that a blanket of leaves might make a dead loved one warmer and blanketed with my parting love.
This is really beautiful.
Merle
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2009
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Though the leaves serve as a blanket in this veteran's day cinquain, the concept of our children and husbands being laid to rest beneath cold stone is forever chilling. And yet, I can relate to the maternal feeling of wishing to push away the cold, to convince myself that a blanket of leaves might make a dead loved one warmer and blanketed with my parting love.
This is really beautiful.
Merle
Comment Written 14-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Merle - I appreciate your kind words about this prayerful poem. Brooke :-)
Comment from LauraKatherine
I appreciated the image of the leaves dropping to the ground to wrap the fallen soldiers in warmth. The description of the sons sleeping reminds me of watching a child sleep, making sure that he is warm and cozy. The irony, of course, is that here the sleep is the sleep of death. Appropriate, then, that their blanket is made of dead leaves falling (like the soldiers have fallen) onto the ground. You've written your words with the love a mother holds in her heart for her children.
Excellent work. GOod luck in the contest. This reminds of our soldiers' sacrifice. Even if I don't necessarily support a particular war, I have to appreciate those who lay down their lives in a war. LK
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2009
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I appreciated the image of the leaves dropping to the ground to wrap the fallen soldiers in warmth. The description of the sons sleeping reminds me of watching a child sleep, making sure that he is warm and cozy. The irony, of course, is that here the sleep is the sleep of death. Appropriate, then, that their blanket is made of dead leaves falling (like the soldiers have fallen) onto the ground. You've written your words with the love a mother holds in her heart for her children.
Excellent work. GOod luck in the contest. This reminds of our soldiers' sacrifice. Even if I don't necessarily support a particular war, I have to appreciate those who lay down their lives in a war. LK
Comment Written 14-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2009
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Thank you, LK - I'm like you - many wars don't have my support, but that has nothing to do with the young people who are in harm's way and working so valiantly to protect their comrades. Brooke :-)
Comment from Soulester
Hi, Brooke, Your poem is so very sad and wistful. I can picture that scene so perfectly, the leaves blanketing the graves of young soldiers. You expressed this universal theme in a poignant and original way. It is a gorgeous cinquain. Mary
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2009
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Hi, Brooke, Your poem is so very sad and wistful. I can picture that scene so perfectly, the leaves blanketing the graves of young soldiers. You expressed this universal theme in a poignant and original way. It is a gorgeous cinquain. Mary
Comment Written 14-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2009
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Mary, Thank you - I appreciate your gracious review. Brooke
Comment from Just2Write
Nice sentiments in this poem Brooke, as Autumn leaves fall to earth. I had not thought about the coming winter. For those who sleep in the cold earth. When I do think about that, I strangely find comfort, for they are at peace with the world. The harmony of the seasons blending with them instils a sense of silence and with those hushed tones beneath the leaves, is peace. Rose.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2009
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Nice sentiments in this poem Brooke, as Autumn leaves fall to earth. I had not thought about the coming winter. For those who sleep in the cold earth. When I do think about that, I strangely find comfort, for they are at peace with the world. The harmony of the seasons blending with them instils a sense of silence and with those hushed tones beneath the leaves, is peace. Rose.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2009
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Thanks, Rose, for this thoughtful review :_) Brooke
Comment from DeboraDyess
We lost another one last month -- another West Texas son who won't come home. I see that loss, and then I remember what they ultimately give us. My father-in-law is a WWll vet (I'm pretty sure everyone onsite knows that!), and is getting older. He told my son-in-law about invasions he was involved in. We're really blessed to have him. Anyway, it was a fitting tribute poem. Thank you for taking the time to write it. Blessings, Deb
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2009
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We lost another one last month -- another West Texas son who won't come home. I see that loss, and then I remember what they ultimately give us. My father-in-law is a WWll vet (I'm pretty sure everyone onsite knows that!), and is getting older. He told my son-in-law about invasions he was involved in. We're really blessed to have him. Anyway, it was a fitting tribute poem. Thank you for taking the time to write it. Blessings, Deb
Comment Written 14-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2009
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My dad fought in the Pacific and simply never talked about it even though generally he was a huge story teller. I always figured he had seen things he just didn't want to share with a daughter. Thanks so much, Deb. Brooke
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Was your dad navy? Weldon fought on the Uvalde (don't know how to spell that ...) He never talked about it at all with his first wife, who passed away in '88.l My mother-in-law married him and he was still mum until the movie Pearl Harbor came out. He started talking a little then, and more as the years have gone by. We're going to lose him soon, I'm afraid. The war got him, but 60 years later. His lungs are bad due to the asbestos in the ships. But he, like your dad, is a porlific storyteller, and we've been blessed to have him so long and have so many wonderful memories.
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Yep, my dad was in the navy - he was born in 1909 so had already served in the navy out of San Diego when he was a young man, but in the last couple years of the war they started calling up the older guys - he served on a ship that fixed other ships since he's a steamfitter. That I actually found out from his discharge papers that listed his ship and I looked the ship up.
Comment from smileycloud
hey
nice cinquain
the content is covered so well with so few lines
the description gives warmth to the heart as well as our sons
the picture you paint is an important one for those who have lost
have a smiley day
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2009
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hey
nice cinquain
the content is covered so well with so few lines
the description gives warmth to the heart as well as our sons
the picture you paint is an important one for those who have lost
have a smiley day
Comment Written 14-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2009
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Good morning and thank you, smileycloud!! Brooke :-)
Comment from Pacinogal
Hi Brooke,
I didn't see too many of these, so I'm glad I
came across yours. It is so finely said in the
midst of a sorrowful grave. Excellent post.
Kindly,
Kathy
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2009
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Hi Brooke,
I didn't see too many of these, so I'm glad I
came across yours. It is so finely said in the
midst of a sorrowful grave. Excellent post.
Kindly,
Kathy
Comment Written 14-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Kathy, and good morning - this is a day I never let go by without remembrance. Brooke :-)
That is a fine choice Brooke,
I had my little flag on my door.
Kathy
Comment from fayesh
This was a splendid tribute to the brave soldiers who have given their lives so that we can continue to enjoy our freedoms. Your imagery painted a beautiful image of death as just rest and nature making certain that they are comfortable. Nicely done, Brooke
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2009
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This was a splendid tribute to the brave soldiers who have given their lives so that we can continue to enjoy our freedoms. Your imagery painted a beautiful image of death as just rest and nature making certain that they are comfortable. Nicely done, Brooke
Comment Written 14-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2009
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Thank you, Faye - I appreciate your thoughtful review of this prayerful poem :-) Brooke
