Love Lies
a lune poem14 total reviews
Comment from joan marie
The title is a little hard to read. I was surprised by the picture and therefore ready to read the lune. I like the metaphor contain within the writing and its correlation to the art. joan marie
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2009
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The title is a little hard to read. I was surprised by the picture and therefore ready to read the lune. I like the metaphor contain within the writing and its correlation to the art. joan marie
Comment Written 09-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2009
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Thanks for a good review; I appreciate it.
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By hard to read I meant read as in interpret. jm
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I understood that.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Alvin,
talk about opening the portals of one's heart --
looks like someone has exposed a sinful heart.
To me your entry is very original
Gert
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2009
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Hello Alvin,
talk about opening the portals of one's heart --
looks like someone has exposed a sinful heart.
To me your entry is very original
Gert
Comment Written 09-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2009
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Thanks for a good review.
Comment from Teri7
Al, you did a very good job on this lune poem. You used the correct amount of syllables and you used very creative artwork. Good luck. Hugs, Teri
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Al, you did a very good job on this lune poem. You used the correct amount of syllables and you used very creative artwork. Good luck. Hugs, Teri
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Thanks for a good review. I appreciate it.
Comment from babylonia
wow~ add visual and you have a very stark piece. nicely done. made me smile. no, i don't like my heart being served up on a platter but thank god i feel emotions. imagery is excellent.
good luck~
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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wow~ add visual and you have a very stark piece. nicely done. made me smile. no, i don't like my heart being served up on a platter but thank god i feel emotions. imagery is excellent.
good luck~
love,
barbara
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Yes, it is better to feel than not to feel, even if the feeling is one of sadness. Thanks for a good review.
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you are welcome~
Comment from Helvi2
WOW!
I'm going to have to dive head first into this one Al and I may be wrong, but I'll give it a try. My intuition says the combo of poem and picture are trying to say, "You didn't handle my heart with care. I literally put my heart in your hands and you hurt it."
When you care for someone to that extent and trust is broken, the heart suffers greatly from the betrayal.
I hope I was close in my interpretation. The one thing I can say with true conviction is readers are definately going to stop and think about what you've written. If your words don't put the mind brakes on to say "Whoa!",then there is something wrong with the reader.
Good Luck in the Contest
Nancy :o)
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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WOW!
I'm going to have to dive head first into this one Al and I may be wrong, but I'll give it a try. My intuition says the combo of poem and picture are trying to say, "You didn't handle my heart with care. I literally put my heart in your hands and you hurt it."
When you care for someone to that extent and trust is broken, the heart suffers greatly from the betrayal.
I hope I was close in my interpretation. The one thing I can say with true conviction is readers are definately going to stop and think about what you've written. If your words don't put the mind brakes on to say "Whoa!",then there is something wrong with the reader.
Good Luck in the Contest
Nancy :o)
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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You're on spot with your interpretation. Thanks for a good review.
Comment from leesm
Powerfully presented, especially with the picture. But the words successfully convey the pain of betrayal in the allotted 13 syllables. This Lune form is new to me, but you seem to have mastered it in this fine poem.
Warmly,
-Lee
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Powerfully presented, especially with the picture. But the words successfully convey the pain of betrayal in the allotted 13 syllables. This Lune form is new to me, but you seem to have mastered it in this fine poem.
Warmly,
-Lee
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Thank you for a good review. I appreciate it.
Comment from lola29
Alvin, you've composed another great poem. This is a very powerful and succinct message, and I'm always impressed with your delivery using so few words.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Alvin, you've composed another great poem. This is a very powerful and succinct message, and I'm always impressed with your delivery using so few words.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Thanks, as always, for your kindness and for a generous review.
Comment from Begin Again
Alvin
Dramatic artwork to show the pain within your words. You have done an excellent job of telling a story with the thirteen syllables. Good luck in the contest.
Carol
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Alvin
Dramatic artwork to show the pain within your words. You have done an excellent job of telling a story with the thirteen syllables. Good luck in the contest.
Carol
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Thanks for a great review. I appreciate it.
Comment from adewpearl
You spoke lies - that is a great use of the central line to say something of great impact - the brevity of it makes it accented. This is a definite case of less is more and a case of form helping content. An excellent Lune poem, a new form for me. Brooke
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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You spoke lies - that is a great use of the central line to say something of great impact - the brevity of it makes it accented. This is a definite case of less is more and a case of form helping content. An excellent Lune poem, a new form for me. Brooke
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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You understood well what I was doing with the structure of the poem. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from honeytree
Very strong art work and one can be very hurt, if one does speak of lies of someone. Love then dies.
Great writing
Honeytree.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Very strong art work and one can be very hurt, if one does speak of lies of someone. Love then dies.
Great writing
Honeytree.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Yes, you understood what I wanted to convey. Thanks for a good review.
