POEMS, SONGS AND NOTES
Viewing comments for Chapter 60 "Innocent Until Proven Guilty!"When I dabble at things.....
37 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Begin,
between your picture and your words you can see the desperation of this poor man especially when he is innocent.
Gert
Very poweful
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2009
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Hello Begin,
between your picture and your words you can see the desperation of this poor man especially when he is innocent.
Gert
Very poweful
Comment Written 08-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2009
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Gert
Thank you for your kind and understanding review. Carol
Comment from AlvinTEthington
Having recently been the object of a police vendetta and a dirty judge who trumped up charges to put me in jail for exposing a dirty cop murder, I can empathize with this poem. It's my life for the last six months. In my case, I was lucky. The second time the cops set me up, the dirty judge gave me 30 days in jail. After I talked to the most prominent doctor and most prominent psychiatrist
in the jail system, they released me in a day and a half. I wish more people were that lucky. This is biting social criticism that needs to be read and heard over and over again.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Having recently been the object of a police vendetta and a dirty judge who trumped up charges to put me in jail for exposing a dirty cop murder, I can empathize with this poem. It's my life for the last six months. In my case, I was lucky. The second time the cops set me up, the dirty judge gave me 30 days in jail. After I talked to the most prominent doctor and most prominent psychiatrist
in the jail system, they released me in a day and a half. I wish more people were that lucky. This is biting social criticism that needs to be read and heard over and over again.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Alvin
How utterly horrible to have such a devastating thing happen to you. I keep reading about these people who have sat on death row for years only to be proven that they were innocent by DNA. I wonder sometimes if our system isn't to quick to rush to judgement just so they can make a name for themselves. How can we ever give people back their lives? I am so sorry for the injustice that was done to you.
Carol
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In jail, I learned much about kindness. The guards won't tell you what to do, but punish you if you do wrong. I was concerned about that one night and one of the other inmates said he would take my punishment if the guards started in on me.
But there was terrible violence, too. After I had been released and was waiting to go home, a guard told me to move from where I had been sitting to another place. This guard had already told me he didn't like me. I refused and told him I had been released.He then threw me against the wall, which caused a concussion for four weeks. Luckily, my brain wasn't damaged.
It was clear that most of the inmates (some were in for as a little a crime as driving on a suspended license) belonged on the outside and the sadistic guards belonged in jail.
When I exposed the dirty cop murder internationally, I did the right thing, but I paid the price. All I can say is I tried to follow the example of Christ.
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Alvin
WE all will answer at Heaven's door and I hope those guards know that it will open for you and not them. My thoughts and prayers are always with you my friend. That was a horrible ordeal to endure, Smiles, Carol
Comment from bard owl
Wow! Your words and the picture fit perfectly. I don't know the outcome of this contest, but this is a very well-done entry. Blessings to you, Linda
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Wow! Your words and the picture fit perfectly. I don't know the outcome of this contest, but this is a very well-done entry. Blessings to you, Linda
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Linda
Thank you so much for your kind words. I had never heard of a lune before but it was fun to do. Thanks again. Carol
Comment from eliz100
This is a very powerful poem. Your choice of words is excellent. The picture also tells the story-good choice. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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This is a very powerful poem. Your choice of words is excellent. The picture also tells the story-good choice. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Eliz
Thanks for the kind review. I certainly appreciate it. Carol
Comment from starkat
Hi Carol,
It looks like he's screaming real loud, so hopefully someone should hear. He also need a doctor since he's bleeding from his right eye. Well..you packed a lot of punch within your thirteen syllables spread over three lines 5-3-5. Being unjustly accused is no fun at all.... I was once arrested and thrown in jail because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and happened to look like the bad person they were looking for. They threw me in a cell with a bunch of murderers and other awful types... and I screamed for someone to hear me while trying to keep the inmates from killing me. Luckily, I survived and was released after about five hours. It's an awful feeling to be unjustly accused and trapped in a system that's often deaf. Thing is...it can happen to anyone.
Nice job with this lune. Good luck in this contest. Cheers ... ;0) Art
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Hi Carol,
It looks like he's screaming real loud, so hopefully someone should hear. He also need a doctor since he's bleeding from his right eye. Well..you packed a lot of punch within your thirteen syllables spread over three lines 5-3-5. Being unjustly accused is no fun at all.... I was once arrested and thrown in jail because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and happened to look like the bad person they were looking for. They threw me in a cell with a bunch of murderers and other awful types... and I screamed for someone to hear me while trying to keep the inmates from killing me. Luckily, I survived and was released after about five hours. It's an awful feeling to be unjustly accused and trapped in a system that's often deaf. Thing is...it can happen to anyone.
Nice job with this lune. Good luck in this contest. Cheers ... ;0) Art
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Art
You are a fine example of what our system is turning into...rush to judgement just so they can say case closed. Thank you for reviewing my poem and for sharing with me. Carol
Comment from laurelp
Are system is based on Innocent until proven guilty, but is it really. We aim for that, but do we accomplish it. With the number of innocent prisoners being release on the newest testing of DNA, I have to wonder. Nicely written piece.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Are system is based on Innocent until proven guilty, but is it really. We aim for that, but do we accomplish it. With the number of innocent prisoners being release on the newest testing of DNA, I have to wonder. Nicely written piece.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Laurel
I agree whole heartedly with you and that is where my thoughts were when I wrote this poem. Thanks for the review. Carol
Comment from Jarlsbane
I like this. I think you did a nice job with the form. I have a suggestion though.. (I always have a suggestion) I think your last line should be the unwritten conclusion your reader comes to after reading the poem. You give the reader too much, let your poem guide the reader to that thought... If you create a more emotional and thought provoking last line your poem will be more powerful and the reader more satisfied...
how about
Unjustly accused
he cries out
from prejudiced cell
now the reader can draw their own conclusion about if he will be heard or not... just my thoughts all my best jarls
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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I like this. I think you did a nice job with the form. I have a suggestion though.. (I always have a suggestion) I think your last line should be the unwritten conclusion your reader comes to after reading the poem. You give the reader too much, let your poem guide the reader to that thought... If you create a more emotional and thought provoking last line your poem will be more powerful and the reader more satisfied...
how about
Unjustly accused
he cries out
from prejudiced cell
now the reader can draw their own conclusion about if he will be heard or not... just my thoughts all my best jarls
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Jarls
Appreciated the suggestions and comments. That's what makes it poetry...each draws his own conclusion. Thanks Carol
Comment from anabellapongasi
Carol,this is a very nice lune poem. The message
is very strong and powerful and the picture perfectly
compliments it. It is full of emotion and passion as
a cry for justice. Very well done.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Carol,this is a very nice lune poem. The message
is very strong and powerful and the picture perfectly
compliments it. It is full of emotion and passion as
a cry for justice. Very well done.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Anabella
Thank you so much for your kind and appreciated words. Sometimes are quick need to solve a case leads to innocent people being convicted. Carol
Comment from eraserlynch
The art work really drew you into this poem which was great it was equally as powerfula sthe message delivered in your words. Best of luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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The art work really drew you into this poem which was great it was equally as powerfula sthe message delivered in your words. Best of luck with the contest.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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eraser
Thanks for your kind words. i too felt the artwork was extremely awesome. The words fit it perfectly. Carol
Comment from Realist101
Hi Carol, this is great. SO many nowadays, are wrongly convicted, and are simply left to rot. Even with DNA, they just let people sit forever, even after they have the proof that the person is innocent, it makes me so upset... Thank you for this!! Susan
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Hi Carol, this is great. SO many nowadays, are wrongly convicted, and are simply left to rot. Even with DNA, they just let people sit forever, even after they have the proof that the person is innocent, it makes me so upset... Thank you for this!! Susan
Comment Written 07-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2009
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Susan
I had just read an article where the person was innocent but was still waiting for read tape...that is insane. Innocent is innocent! Thanks for the review! Carol
