Reviews from

For My Eyes Only

The heat of the moment and then ....

49 total reviews 
Comment from Readywriter52
Excellent
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This is an interesting story. She takes reading her lines way too serious. She ends up falling in love with her co-worker. She needs to keep her imagination in check.

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 18-Oct-2009
    Readywriter

    She was in the booth next to them...watching while the other two made out...which they were really rehearsing line
    She didn't even know either of the. she just got wrapped up in watching
    thanks for the review. Carol
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
Excellent
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Nice job on this entry into the contest. Your descriptives were excellent and kept my attention...making me want to continue even after the ending. Great writing. Good luck in the contest. Hugs and smiles, Susanne

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 18-Oct-2009
    Susanne

    Glad you enjoyed this one. Funny how one's mind imagines things so differently. Thanks again...Carol
Comment from Rain Chapman
Excellent
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Nothing like a great big dose of reality to douse the flames of desire! LOL! Excellent build-up for the shock ending, I loved it. Great choice for start and finish of this one.
Best of luck!
Lorraine :)

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 18-Oct-2009
    Lorraine


    Thanks for reading and enjoying. I appreciate the review. CArol
Comment from Siren_116
Excellent
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Bravo, bravo! Very well written! very nice indeed!

I was enthralled! I almost spilled my coffee at one point and I didn't have any, you had me in the cafe with you!

Wonderful entry for the contest!

All the best of luck to you!

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 18-Oct-2009
    Siren

    Thank you very much for stopping by and reviewing my story. Glad you enjoyed it. Carol
Comment from becky7777
Excellent
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oh when we want what we cant have and think it is the best in the world. and then the let down it isnt real even in our dreams.
great write. saw no spag. good luck in the contest.
becky

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 18-Oct-2009
    Becky

    Thanks for enjoying the story. It was fun to write. CArol
Comment from becky7777
Excellent
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oh when we want what we cant have and think it is the best in the world. and then the let down it isnt real even in our dreams.
great write. saw no spag. good luck in the contest.
becky

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 18-Oct-2009
    Becky

    I got this twice, but I wanted to tell you again I'm happy you enjoyed the story. Carol
Comment from Sally Carter
Excellent
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Excellent story, which involves the reader from the very beginning, and the pace does not flag. A clever idea to meet the brief, having our dream man be an actor. May I mention a couple of tiny things you might want to look at? In the third line, I don't think you need the word "of".
In the 4th para from the end, the word should be "seared". An interesting take on the challenge, and I hope it does well for you. Sally

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 16-Oct-2009
    Sally

    Took care of those nits and I appreciate you letting me know. Thanks so much for the review. Carol
Comment from Sunie617
Excellent
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Wow. You're first line captured my interest, and you kept intrigued till the twisted end. I really enjoyed this piece, remembering my own thoughts as I see lovebirds on the train and all around me, just not me. Boo-hoo. Reading romance novels hurts so I stick to the scary stuff. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 16-Oct-2009
    Sunie

    Thanks so much for reading..especially since you don't really follow the romance...Appreciated you stopping by. Carol
reply by Sunie617 on 16-Oct-2009
    They depress me. Happy that you were able to have it at least once in your lifetime. Some of us aren't lucky at all. So I learned to give all my love to the only one who wants it. My God. :)
Comment from BPL76
Excellent
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Wonderfully written
It flows well
I was interested through out this work
Goof Flow
Good Job
Good Luck in the contest
BPL

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 15-Oct-2009
    BPL

    Thanks for the nice review. Appreciated the comments. Carol
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
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LOL

Snag!

This is funny, even though sad.

The POV is well explored and carries the leader along with the protagonist's inner feelings. Very well done.

You use good descriptive phrasing, but this one shouts cliche-
Decency told me to turn away, but like a moth drawn to a flame,

I'd try to come up with a more original simile there.


You built up the tension to a dramatic climax. LOL

Bravo.
NO spags

Wamrly,
rd

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2009

reply by the author on 15-Oct-2009
    Rama devi

    What wrong with a good ole cliche now and then....Thanks for taking the time to read and review, I greatly appreciate it. I am glad you enjoyed it.

    Smiles, Carol