The Ottava Rima
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "The Fruits of War"ottava rima poetry
109 total reviews
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
okay, that paints quite the ugly picture. Taking such a beautiful form and using it for, uckkkkkk. LOL You really have been in quite the dark mood it would seem. hmmm perhaps we should get back to the fairies, lol
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2009
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okay, that paints quite the ugly picture. Taking such a beautiful form and using it for, uckkkkkk. LOL You really have been in quite the dark mood it would seem. hmmm perhaps we should get back to the fairies, lol
Comment Written 16-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2009
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Yep, as ugly a picture as I could possibly make it, my friend - not all in this world is pretty, sadly. I promise to get back to fairies soon :-) Brooke
Comment from Plotosaurus
Good job tackling a challenging rhyme scheme. The image of a vulture couldn't be clearer. The author notes were helpful. The artwork was a nice touch. I would consider a new title. Since the poem is short, rather than repeating a line from the poem, select something that will allow you another opportunity to build on your poem's imagery and meaning.
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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2009
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Good job tackling a challenging rhyme scheme. The image of a vulture couldn't be clearer. The author notes were helpful. The artwork was a nice touch. I would consider a new title. Since the poem is short, rather than repeating a line from the poem, select something that will allow you another opportunity to build on your poem's imagery and meaning.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2009
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Thank you for reviewing. Brooke
Comment from Just2Write
To know that our fate would be to be feasted upon by vultures is troubling. If each of us believed that this would be our fate, would we stop going to war? Vultures, like natures undertakers, thrive on war. Their business is death, and they are experts at it. Great Ottava rima, Brooke. It really grabs one's attention, and picks at it with a delightful sense of macabre. Rose.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2009
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To know that our fate would be to be feasted upon by vultures is troubling. If each of us believed that this would be our fate, would we stop going to war? Vultures, like natures undertakers, thrive on war. Their business is death, and they are experts at it. Great Ottava rima, Brooke. It really grabs one's attention, and picks at it with a delightful sense of macabre. Rose.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2009
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Thank you, Rose. I truly appreciate your thoughtful comments. Brooke
Comment from Arkine
Well, that was certainly a disturbing image. Very true though. Often, the battlefield doesn't get cleaned up very quickly, if at all. The dead are left to the fate of every other creature on the planet. The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is a grim reminder of those that never come back. Great job on this! :)
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2009
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Well, that was certainly a disturbing image. Very true though. Often, the battlefield doesn't get cleaned up very quickly, if at all. The dead are left to the fate of every other creature on the planet. The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is a grim reminder of those that never come back. Great job on this! :)
Comment Written 14-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2009
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Thank you, disturbing was certainly my intent, my friend. I appreciate your most insightful comments. Brooke
Comment from MJMuraco
Brooke, your presentation and artwork are awesome for the message of this poem. Very well written with a very strong message.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2009
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Brooke, your presentation and artwork are awesome for the message of this poem. Very well written with a very strong message.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2009
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Thank you, Mary Jayne. I appreciate your visits and reviews :-) Brooke
Comment from Oatmeal
MizKat,
Very well formatted and full of descriptive narrations. All words are very well chosen, descriptive, successfully explained and comprehensible.
I saw no SPAG and no typos. Everything looked in place.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2009
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MizKat,
Very well formatted and full of descriptive narrations. All words are very well chosen, descriptive, successfully explained and comprehensible.
I saw no SPAG and no typos. Everything looked in place.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2009
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Thank you, Oatmeal, for your positive comments. Brooke
Comment from misscookie
Just looking at the painting brought deep sadness to my mind then when I read the poem I cried. Your wrote with such feeling. One has to be gifted to have a reader feel what you are writing.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2009
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Just looking at the painting brought deep sadness to my mind then when I read the poem I cried. Your wrote with such feeling. One has to be gifted to have a reader feel what you are writing.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2009
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Misscookie, thank you. I truly appreciate your thoughtful comments. Brooke :-)
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your welcome
misscookie
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is an excellent poem, but whatever muse did you get to write about vultures? I'm just curious. I wonder if before a president or whomever, sent young men/women off to war, maybe they need to stand on a battle field and look at the horrors it caused.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2009
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This is an excellent poem, but whatever muse did you get to write about vultures? I'm just curious. I wonder if before a president or whomever, sent young men/women off to war, maybe they need to stand on a battle field and look at the horrors it caused.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2009
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I had been writing Halloween poems lately and searching fan art for "dark" pictures. When I found this and did research on vultures, I kept finding the references to them on battlefields, and that wouldn't leave my mind, so this ended up being an anti-war poem instead of a Halloween poem :-) Thank you, Barbara. Brooke :-)
Comment from dportwood
Spoken like a true vulture. We've continued to feed vultures in the past - Why imagine that will change in the future? Though your words paint a dark picture of mankind, they speak the truth.
Duane
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Spoken like a true vulture. We've continued to feed vultures in the past - Why imagine that will change in the future? Though your words paint a dark picture of mankind, they speak the truth.
Duane
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Thank you, Duane for a most insightful response. Brooke
Comment from Soulester
Hello, Brooke, First of all, great title. "The fruits of war" strikes me as an oxymoron, no? I also am struck by the clever use of vulture's point of view. Your descriptions are 3D panoramic , and the message can't be repeated often enough. And as always, I appreciate your author notes explaining the poetic form, in this case, the ottava rima. Write on! Mary
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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Hello, Brooke, First of all, great title. "The fruits of war" strikes me as an oxymoron, no? I also am struck by the clever use of vulture's point of view. Your descriptions are 3D panoramic , and the message can't be repeated often enough. And as always, I appreciate your author notes explaining the poetic form, in this case, the ottava rima. Write on! Mary
Comment Written 13-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2009
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thank you so much, Mary, for your wonderfully generous review of this poem. Yes, the oxymoron is meant to be ironic. I so appreciate your most observant and perceptive comments. Brooke
