Blood Relations - A Vampire Tale
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Blood Relations"Some bloodlines run very deep.
26 total reviews
Comment from fionageorge
Excellent writing, and another intriguing chapter. The dialogue is once again great, and assist in moving the story along; realistic to the characters. You have the ability to get the reader absorbed in this tale, and wanting to turn the page to the next chapter.
Only one question (maybe I should know this?), but what is
'an FTD flower?'
Warm Regards
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Excellent writing, and another intriguing chapter. The dialogue is once again great, and assist in moving the story along; realistic to the characters. You have the ability to get the reader absorbed in this tale, and wanting to turn the page to the next chapter.
Only one question (maybe I should know this?), but what is
'an FTD flower?'
Warm Regards
Comment Written 09-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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In the US there are FTD florists everywhere. I just assumed they were worldwide, but maybe they're not. Thank you so much for your encouraging and wonderful review!!! :)
Comment from BPL76
This chapture left me wanting more
This story is so well written it seems real
It flows well
The dialog is easy to understand
Good Job
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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This chapture left me wanting more
This story is so well written it seems real
It flows well
The dialog is easy to understand
Good Job
Comment Written 09-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2009
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review! :)
Comment from fictionwriter
Another wonderful chapter. I don't know why they went to the hospital, they didn't need to did they? I can't remember. Great job.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Another wonderful chapter. I don't know why they went to the hospital, they didn't need to did they? I can't remember. Great job.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review Fictionwriter! They needed to until Stan could get there. :)
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Stan, oh geez - so sorry, I meant Steve! LOL. I loved this chapter but I do not enjoy how Brooke is throwing herself at Stan. She's becoming just a tad too much of a tart for my liking. Jealous - nah. Just don't like girls like that especially when she's poor Lori's cousin.
Otherwise terrific write. Now for the aliens who just won't give up. luv jada
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Hi Stan, oh geez - so sorry, I meant Steve! LOL. I loved this chapter but I do not enjoy how Brooke is throwing herself at Stan. She's becoming just a tad too much of a tart for my liking. Jealous - nah. Just don't like girls like that especially when she's poor Lori's cousin.
Otherwise terrific write. Now for the aliens who just won't give up. luv jada
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Thank you so much for this SIX STAR review Jada!!! You have made my day. :) Brook and Lori, aliens, and a Governor. Stan has his hands full, LOL. Thanks again so much!!!
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Your fantasy is so well written, that it seems like you are simply reporting the unusual events as you watch them unfold. Likewise these characters come alive in wonderful and vivid detail in my mind's eye. I see the beauty and compassion of the girls.
Stan demonstrates great control over all around him. With his many friends, it is a positive and even welcome control. You create a magical place where anything seems possible and all things end well.
I also like the romance between Stan and his cadre of beautiful women.
I noted only one small piece of SPAG: As the chopper approached the ship, white lights circling the private helipad [lit helping ==> helped] guide the pilot in.{This corrects an error and simplifies this sentence.}
Now you have me hooked with the strange lights in the sky. Please hurry with an explaination.
Roger
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Your fantasy is so well written, that it seems like you are simply reporting the unusual events as you watch them unfold. Likewise these characters come alive in wonderful and vivid detail in my mind's eye. I see the beauty and compassion of the girls.
Stan demonstrates great control over all around him. With his many friends, it is a positive and even welcome control. You create a magical place where anything seems possible and all things end well.
I also like the romance between Stan and his cadre of beautiful women.
I noted only one small piece of SPAG: As the chopper approached the ship, white lights circling the private helipad [lit helping ==> helped] guide the pilot in.{This corrects an error and simplifies this sentence.}
Now you have me hooked with the strange lights in the sky. Please hurry with an explaination.
Roger
Comment Written 08-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2009
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Thank you so much for your encouraging and wonderful review Roger! You nailed it. It's fantasy, and meant to do exactly what you see. The lights in the sky will create new challenges and experiences for all very soon. Thanks again!
Comment from adewpearl
bouquet's of roses - drop the apostrophe
Reaching Lori's bed, she bent - add comma
Well, shit - the accident is a thing of the past as they all stroll or limp out of the hospital to have a nice dinner, and then the damn lights are back in the sky!!! Will these aliens never stop trying to spoil my vampire's fun??? LOL Brooke
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2009
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bouquet's of roses - drop the apostrophe
Reaching Lori's bed, she bent - add comma
Well, shit - the accident is a thing of the past as they all stroll or limp out of the hospital to have a nice dinner, and then the damn lights are back in the sky!!! Will these aliens never stop trying to spoil my vampire's fun??? LOL Brooke
Comment Written 07-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2009
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Thank you so much for your wonderful and always uplifting and helpful review Brooke! I'll make those changes tonight. Damn lights is right, LOL.
Comment from angel of the quill
amazing worth the wait
i love how you took it step by step without excessively expounding a point
great work enough intrigue to keep me edge of seat
good work bravo
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2009
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amazing worth the wait
i love how you took it step by step without excessively expounding a point
great work enough intrigue to keep me edge of seat
good work bravo
Comment Written 07-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2009
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The aliens are coming! :) Thank you for your wonderful and encouraging review!
Comment from Sasha
I was getting worried. Great chapter but you still have to resolve the Brook and Lori issue. Poor Stan really got himself into a jam this time. The lights in the sky are not a good sign. I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2009
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I was getting worried. Great chapter but you still have to resolve the Brook and Lori issue. Poor Stan really got himself into a jam this time. The lights in the sky are not a good sign. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2009
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Thank you so much for your wonderful and very appreciated review. The lights in the sky are indeed a bad sign. :)
Comment from Mastery
Excellent writing for the most part. Keeps the reader's attention that's for sure. I only found one thing I'd like to point out if I may: Near the beginning you have these two sentences:
"Running past Jill toward Lori, she asked, "How is she?"
"Closing the door, she replied, "Much better now."
If you go back and read this section, I believe an attributive like "she said" or "he said" is in line because I was a bit confused on who was who in this instance. Take care...Good writing overall...Bob
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2009
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Excellent writing for the most part. Keeps the reader's attention that's for sure. I only found one thing I'd like to point out if I may: Near the beginning you have these two sentences:
"Running past Jill toward Lori, she asked, "How is she?"
"Closing the door, she replied, "Much better now."
If you go back and read this section, I believe an attributive like "she said" or "he said" is in line because I was a bit confused on who was who in this instance. Take care...Good writing overall...Bob
Comment Written 07-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2009
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Thank you Bob for your wonderful and most helpful review. I appreciate your suggestions and will take a look. :)
Comment from L.lora
NightWriter this was an
excellent chapter in your
story and well worth having
waited for. Everything flows
so smoothly and the dialogues
are spot on for the scenes and
situations. Nothing to suggest,
hope we see another chapter
soon.. :)Lora
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2009
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NightWriter this was an
excellent chapter in your
story and well worth having
waited for. Everything flows
so smoothly and the dialogues
are spot on for the scenes and
situations. Nothing to suggest,
hope we see another chapter
soon.. :)Lora
Comment Written 07-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2009
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Thank you so much Lora for your wonderful and very appreciated review. It is most encouraging. I actually had this chapter almost done a week ago, but life kept me busy or tired to get back to it until now. I'm writing the next chapter which promises to be even more suspenseful as the lights in the sky come closer. :) Thanks again!
